the sequel from moose lake

lately, i seem to always be thinking in terms of "part two." i say something, write something, i put something out there, and immediately after i want to add something more. the technical name is addendum. it means to add on. clever, huh? i bet it was a writer who came up with that term -- a writer or a mother. probably it was a mother who writes. yes, i am sure of it.

i like addendums.

or addenda ... (if you prefer to be plural and technically correct).

i am an addendum kind of woman.

i am the mother chasing my children out the door and yelling, “oh ... and one more thing, sweetheart ...”  they can almost count on it. in fact, i’ve watched my teen daughter when backing out her car, pause in the driveway. her window will go down and her eyes will look up at me on the porch step, “anything else, mom?” because she knows:  there usually is.

one.more.thing.

it’s why i love texting.

i can bid my husband or young tribe goodbye and then text them all kinds of messages about the things i failed to remember before they scrambled out the door. i’ve even put this kind of mother-forgetfullness into categories:

the reminder list: “honey, don’t forget your dentist appointment at 3:30 today.”  
the rest of the list: “sweetheart, i forgot to tell you we also need milk and eggs.”
the response list: "baby, i didn't answer your question ... but, yes, you can go."
the relational list: “i love you. i’m proud of you. you can do it. i’m praying for you!”

i bet some of you do this too. i know some people think texting is just for teens, but really it’s the perfect tool for forgetful mothers. granted, i can’t do this with the children who remain phone-less in our home. bella, wanting to be part of the big kid game, did ask me recently for her own “real-live” cell phone. but, i assured her that though her time would come, her pink princess phone was sufficient at the moment.

and the same is true of my recent blog posts. maybe it’s because i’m fresh from a writers conference, but lately, i throw something out there, and within minutes, feel an addendum (addenda) rise up within. it could be heart burn, but, honestly, i believe it’s more words fighting their way out. now, i know some of you are sitting at your computers reading this and violently shaking your heads or even shouting with raised fists at your screens, “no jody! no more words. enough! you say plenty, girlfriend!”

but because this is my blog and i can do whatever i want (wink), i’m going to go ahead and give you some more words to my last post ... i'm going to give you a "part two!" let’s just be grateful i don’t have your cell number ... it could arrive in text form!

because here's the deal:

i posted a few days ago (read here) about the lady in the brown house. who, by the way, i am pretty sure doesn’t read this blog. if she does, i hope she doesn’t mind me labeling her as such and employing her so significantly in my recent writing.

at the end of that-lady-in-the-brown-house post i told you about a clever little scripture document i have used with my kids. it's a compilation of verses which they copy when they show some kind of erroneous behavior or unfortunate attitude. i, by the way, have used it for my own self as well -- just needing to be real here.

in my post, i offered the document as a good tool of:

1. discipline. makes them think twice about grumbling if they know they have to write out a bible verse about grumbling. plus what child likes to copy anything 100 times?
2. memorization. writing these verses over and over again cements God’s word and His truth in their minds and hearts.

and both of these are true and beneficial and all around wonderful ...

BUT...  

i feel like i left out the most important thing in that post. as i re-read and played it over again in my own mind, i knew something was lacking. there was a glaring hole in my message. (not the first time that's happened).

thus ...

 that-lady-in-the-brown-house ... the sequel.

copying scripture is a great tool of discipline and memorization, but what i failed to highlight in my last post is the POWER of scripture. in and of itself, scripture is LIFE-CHANGING because it is GOD’S very WORD. it is enough and it is complete.

“let the WORD of CHRIST dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom ...” ~ colossians 3:16

i wanted to write my little addendum because i don’t ever want to look at scripture as just a tool or as just something catchy, clever and useful. yes, it’s useful...but it is so much more. recipes are useful. pinterest is useful. operating instructions are useful. but God's Word is POWERFUL. it is power. God’s Word is TRUTHFUL. it is truth. God's Word is PERFECTION. it is perfect.

it doesn’t need little ole me to copy and paste it into a document. it stands alone. and, praise His name, we can stand on it.  did you hear that? WE CAN STAND ON IT. yes, we can copy it on our papers and hide it in our hearts. yes, we can use it to help wrangle in our wild children. but let's also acknowledge the fact that we can stand on the power of it.

it is our weapon.

it is our relief.

it is what we require.

it's what we wish for.

what we want.

what we need.

“and the WORDS OF THE LORD are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay purified ...” ~ psalm 12:6

oh, dear friend, know that when i post my little bitty document (and i will) ... please realize you aren’t getting jody’s version of anything ... you are getting GOD’S HOLY WORD. nothing can be added ... nothing can be taken away. my sheet is only a flimsy little pile of papers by itself. but God's Word has enormous power, all power, no matter how we relay it to our children.

that's exactly why we are allowed to stutter a bit. we don't have to be always eloquent. the power behind God's word has nothing to do with us or our ability to communicate it.

i've heard young moms say things like, "i'm not confident using the Bible with my kids." or "i don't have a really good handle on scripture."

guess what?

you don't have to. God's word is enough. it more than makes up for our insufficiencies. say that to yourself a few thousand times ... and then get out there and begin using it with your kids ... and yourself!

the power behind changed hearts and kids (and us!) doesn’t come from our ability or a succinct few sheets of paper that some half-mad mama pounded out one summer night in desperation ... it comes from rightly dividing the word of truth. it comes from the holy spirit’s wonderful whisper in the ears and hearts of us all. and it only comes from HIM.

“the unfolding of YOUR WORDS gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.” 
~ psalm 119:130

just this weekend, while away on a little trip, i had to lay into one of the kids (anyone else ever have to “lay into” a child? i don’t mean, “correct” or “address” ... i mean lay into -- laying into a kid is the equivalent of a come to Jesus moment ... we need those around our house on a regular basis).  anyway, guess what all that laying into was about? their WORDS. ironic after that last post, huh?

see friends, i want to make sure we’re really clear on something in this blog:  WE STRUGGLE MIGHTILY HERE IN THE MCNATT HOME. every. single. day.

we do.

and though i wish i could tell y’all that this little document has changed everything ... i won’t sell you that line of wishful thinking.

the only thing which really makes a difference is God getting a hold of our hearts -- both mine and my familys. should we use His word as a tool of discipline or instruction: of course. BUT let’s not make too much of the document or the discipline.  let’s make much of the ONE who deserves our praise.

agreed?

so after posting that-brown-house-lady-piece-part-one, i got in the car and drove with my kids up moose lake minnesota. isn’t that the greatest name ever? and though we threw a whole lot of stuff in the car, i did not pack up that document. honestly, i am going to have to do a little digging for it when i get back home. BUT, like most every day, we sure did need some of God’s Word to come calling yesterday morning. we are staying in the guest house of our friends’ cabin (so, so delightful, by the way -- thank you verdoorn family!). and before said child could even head over to the main house for breakfast, we pulled out the guest house bible on the coffee table and we went to work with colossians 4:6.

“let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” was pounded out in a borrowed notebook with a guest house pen -- 25 times before we went to breakfast. see this little assignment can work anywhere ... even at moose lake!

we don’t need documents. we need God’s good and perfect Word. and we need to be diligent in pointing ourselves and our children to it. i really will send you the document, but don't be afraid to use the concordance at the back of your bible. it will provide a wealth of wonderful scripture for whatever the need at hand. my concordance is worn out ... i mean it ...plumb worn out. not really from my kids’ issues, but from mine.

anyway, all that to say, i’ll send y’all my scripture document when i get home from moose lake. unlike the author of this blog, it’s concise. it’s easy for kids to read and copy from,  BUT ... it’s not about a quick fix or about a method ... it’s about THE MESSAGE God has for us in His Word.

i know in my home, i have to be very careful not to make too much of method, but instead to hone in on God’s message. and that takes some discipline and some memorization. it absolutely requires some work. but, i can tell you all the way from northern minnesota's remote moose lake, it’s worth it.

“do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” ~ 2 timothy 2:15

it’s about our reading ... and HIM revealing.

and i just needed a part two to say all that.

yet another addendum:
since the whole topic of this post concerns words and truth ... the truth is, we aren't exactly in moose lake. that's the main town, but the cabin's address is, technically, cromwell, minnesota. however, for all literary and poetic purposes, moose lake certainly sounds more interesting! i can't take literary license with scripture, but i can take a tiny bit with my blog ...

and in case you weren't interested in reading words tonight ... i'm including a few pictures from our weekend in moose lake/cromwell minnesota ...

that lady in the brown house

"aw mom, you need to be more like that lady in the brown house."

apparently she's a runner.

i ran. once upon a time. i did. seriously, i used to be a runner. well, i suppose, even "used to be" is kind of a stretch. let's just say i've gone through seasons of running. maybe it's more accurate to admit i've even run through seasons of running. in fact, i've run right through seasons of running. (did i wear out that phrase yet?)

but now ...

now i'm
a dog walker.
a child chaser.
a kid driver.
a step climber.
a carpool cruiser.
a cul-de-sac hiker.
a grocery store waltzer.

do these things count?

the boy who compared his mother to the runner-lady in the brown house is ten. he's barely crossed the line into double digits, but somehow, this boy, my son, MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD, was able to hurtle me across the line of self-doubt. and all it took was just one teensy-weensy comment about a lady in a brown house.

who happens to run.

my son didn't say it to be mean. he wouldn't do that. he was being a tease and a ten year old and that's just the way it came out.

but still...

i walked away from our conversation at the kitchen counter and i immediately thought,
"i really should get back into running.
i really should be a mother more devoted to exercise.
i really should be a better eater.
i really should be ...
                      ... a better cook!

OH, SHOOT -- DINNER! what's for dinner tonight, anyway?

and all of a sudden the frozen pizza i was planning on is no longer an option because of that lady in brown house. because of the-brown-house-lady, i was now fully prepared to run (yes, run!) and purchase something all organicky from the market and run (yes, run!) back home to whip it up. it was only 4:15.  i had plenty of time to rifle through my recipes and race around my kitchen. in fact, if i put on one of those pedometers i bet i could clock a few good miles in my meal making alone.

i don't need TO GO running ... i AM running! i am running around all over the place. all the time. good gracious, i'm running wild. i'm running around half the time like a woman with her hair on fire. my son was wrong. i AM the lady in the brown house. i'm just not wearing spandex and a super cute athleta workout top! but be assured friends, this woman is running!

but this post isn't really about the pounding of our feet, it's about the pounding of our words. because there's nothing like someone's critical words to get our mind running right into the arms of discouragement.

no matter who we are or how good we are feeling, we quickly leap into the sprint of negative thoughts which seem always ready to race around the track of our vulnerable minds.

and, all of us know, it's a hard race to win. when it comes to those well-trampled tracks running deep in our minds, we've often lost before we've even stepped up to the starting line.

just this morning i was complimenting myself on something i'd written and sent off.  just this morning my daughter told me she liked my eye color. just this morning i was feeling good about my clean kitchen floor and the fact that i could finally see the floor in the laundry room! just this morning my husband texted me, "i love you."

just this morning everything was pretty peachy keen.

and then came afternoon. and my son compared me to that lady in the brown house.  and suddenly it didn't matter that we were standing on a clean kitchen floor or that another one of my children liked my eye color.

i was only hearing the words of comparison. because that's what i was choosing to hear.

now, i can easily make this post about the words we choose to utter. because that is REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT. "death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." (proverbs 18:21). did you get that? it's LIFE OR DEATH important. and i happen to agree. i've spent some considerable time on both sides of the hurt-feelings-fence. i've been terribly wounded by mean spirited mutterings and i've wounded others terribly with my, as my mother would say, "ability to communicate effectively."

i get it.

i was that daughter -- scratch that -- i AM that daughter or wife or mother or sister or friend who can come up with the quick, snarky comeback. i am owner of an awful arsenal of words -- and i assure you, they are nothing short of weapons.

"there is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." ~ proverbs 12:18

have you ever encountered the sword thrust of a rash word? it's a rather messy business.

my mother told me when i was just barely a teen, (because you only need to be barely a teen for your mother to tell you things like this).  "jody lynn ... (though my name might sound it, we were not country folk. but do feel free to add that twangy draw, it will make the whole thing more interesting) ... she said, "jody lynn, you have a gift with words. and you can use this gift to greatly encourage others or to greatly discourage others. the choice is yours." guess which gift i was using at the time of our little talk? hmm...

but today i want to focus this post not on speaking encouraging words, but on hearing encouragement.  sometimes, it's about choosing to hear good things. "he who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says..." revelation 3:22

did you know it's a choice?

did you know you don't have to wrap yourself up in everybody's opinions or hasty observations?

i didn't have to stand in my kitchen and feel insecure about my running issues -- or lack thereof. i don't have to compare myself to that other mother (brown house or blue) who seems to have it more together. who seems to never lose her credit card or iphone or car keys or children ... or her very mind! (not that i have any idea who could possibly lose any (or all) of these important items ... no idea whatsoever).

i don't have to beat myself up when someone doesn't like what i've done or decided OR COOKED ... i don't have to wear the cloak of another human being's disappointment.

i don't have to listen to words which defeat or disapprove or even bring death.

i belong to Him.

in proverbs 13:3 it says, "whoever guards his mouth preserves his life..." that's the speaking portion. but a little earlier in proverbs we are instructed to, "guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." (proverbs 4:23).  did you know there's a direct line between your ears and your heart? yes! and i don't know about you, but that part about it determining "the course of your life." well, that makes me a little nervous.

"for as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he ..." proverbs 23:7

uh-oh.

my sister is the biology teacher, and she could explain it all 100 times better, but the mouth, ears, heart and eyes all fuse together in a symbiotic (bio word for my sis) relationship -- one effects the other. what we embrace with our ears delves deep into our heart. and after churning a bit there, our eyes and mouth work together to reveal the result. i don't think matthew was a biology teacher either, but he sure nails it: "but what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart ..." (matthew 15:18).

"let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." psalm 19:14

did you know there are well over 150 verses in the bible which address the power of words? that's no accident. in the king james version the word "tongue" is mentioned 129 times. God knew how much we'd be challenged. God was well aware of the external explosive words and also aware of the internal erosion words. in them, we can either find His delight or we can find our death. it's a choice.

today . . .

what are you choosing to say?

and just as importantly, what are you choosing to hear?

* * * * * * * * 

years ago, in a moment of parenting desperation, i ran (yes, ran) to my office and whipped up a document which i called: "scriptures children need to hide in their hearts and sometimes write down on their papers." i broke it down into the sections which seemed especially problematic for our family. (i.e., grumbling, complaining, unkind words, jealousy, anger, ingratitude). under each of these lovely topics i added several verses which addressed the issue. now, when the kids get a little snippy or ugly or haughty, we pull out this little document and spend some time copying verses from the subject area in need. i haven't done this in a while with my crew -- i must go find that document!

i suppose this is all very english teacher-ish of me. but it's been good for us. it not only offers a measure of discipline, but it allows the child to absorb God's truth. and who, by the way, doesn't need more of that? when one of my little sinners has to copy 100 times, "do everything without grumbling or complaining," it begins to stick. it doesn't mean they won't grumble or complain again, but they will think twice about it ... and, even better, they will become more familiar with God's word. my children have memorized their share of scripture because of yucky sin. and i love that. God really doesn't waste anything...not even our ugly sins!

if you're interested, i'm happy to share the little scripture document with you. just leave me a comment or message and i'll be happy to pass it along. doesn't summer seem to be the perfect time for something like this?

and by the way, it works just as well for adults! =)

so, back to that 10 year old boy.... i'm kind of debating whether he needs to do a little copying of scripture today. i know he wasn't trying to be mean or hurt my feelings, but i just might be saving my boy from a whole lot of future trouble if i can teach him the lesson: say nothing to a woman about her need to exercise -- not even your own mother!

"do you see a man (or boy, as the case happens to be) who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him." ~ proverbs 29:20  

honey

in the past few months,  i've often heard, "i don't want to bother you with this..."  or  "you don't need to worry about that ..."   polite words expressed by thoughtful people.   like, all of a sudden, when a girl gets cancer everybody else's issues pale.  life pales and fades.  except that it doesn't.    sure, some stuff quickly lost its heat.  i could only get so worked up about that scratch on the dining room table or the burnt rolls in the oven or the always, long line at the bank.   it is kind of hard going through something big and, simultaneously,  worrying about something small.  it just is.  not that i haven't had a good-old-fashioned-mom-freak-out-moment [over nothing] since the diagnosis.  i have.  it happens.  and, let me tell you,  it's never pretty.


lately, i've been able to shut my eyes to some of the petty stuff littering life, but i haven't really wanted to close myself off from people and their problems.   in fact, i don't think i've ever been more aware of both.  it's like when you have something sad rattling around inside, you can actually see and hear hurt - perhaps even better. louder.  clearer.  it might be the echo in my ears.  it might be the ready tears in my eyes. it might be the fearful rent in my confidence.   i don't know.  but i do know i've never been more in tune with others and their troubling stuff.  could this possibly be the softening of a hard-hearted woman?  finally?  i sure hope so.  it has been a long time coming.


maybe it's a club-mentality kind of thing.  like when you get a problem large enough you can join (not for free, mind you) and obtain inner access to everyone else's issues.  i don't mean that flippantly.  i am serious.  i have never had more people write me via email or inbox or, believe it or not,  even the post office.   i have heard, story after story, of slash and pierce and pain.  i've listened to the heart-heavy-words over coffee and on the phone and even standing in the produce section.   i am so thankful for this sharing.   these tellings told me i wasn't alone.  they told me i, too, had a place to touch tender with words.  that was the message i heard.  even the saddest of stories can bring silver threads of beauty.

most of us are going through something - often hard somethings.  there is no exact hierarchy of hurting.   it wouldn't be fair to list in order of challenge the sufferings of so many.  but, let's just agree, people, we've got them.  they are everywhere.  so few of us are left unbruised. unblemished.  we can't always put our ugly, tarnished tales out on display.  it seems to be a rather fine line.  there can be such encouragement in sharing.   beautiful meeting.  even, incredible healing.  but sometimes we can't.  i know in my own family we've each had to find a place.  a place to put our sad.  a place for pretend.  a place to forget,  if just for awhile.   it has been lovely to wake and rush into a day without remembering.  but, sooner or later, it comes slamming back on the toes.  heavy things do.


in the days after april, we had to learn a little bit about masking our winces and swallowing fear.  you learn things like this when traveling through the raw times of life.  you learn a game-face.  a face which might be a little bit stoic, a little bit cool, and maybe, even oddly aloof.   i am typically a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve...and her dress and her skirt and her shoes....but, i too,  had to find a way to be cool.   a definite first - and definitely necessary.  we couldn't always, at every turn and with every question, explain how we really were doing.  we could not.   most everyone understood.  i had a few strange conversations, but, for the most part, people got it.  honestly, a cancer diagnosis gives a girl a lot of leeway.  "oh, don't mind her, she has cancer you know."  it has been one of the tiny silver linings.

there is no right or wrong way in going through something wretched, but i am sure going through with someone is good.   i cannot quite comprehend how anyone walks this kind of road solo.   it isn't conceivable.  i know there are people shouldering great big burdens, impossibly alone.  i find this heartbreaking.  breath-stealing.   how, i wonder.  how?  i mean it ... HOW?  hurting people need others.  there is something in the sharing.  i know this now,  better than ever.  passing off  just a little, here and there, lessens the load, lightens the eyes.  i haven't been able to answer every note or card or gesture, but i want you all to know how much they have meant.  each evening sitting on my bed or my porch swing or even on the curb below my bricked mailbox i have opened up a card or two or three.  your words were like honey.   sweet honey.   dripping down the dry throat of a tired and fearful and worried woman.  sweet on my sour tongue.  wet sugar to my bitter.


sometimes we doubt our words.  they aren't right or perfect or enough.  we don't know what to say to someone in struggling places. but if you ever, again, think twice about sending a note or touching a shoulder or leaving a message or dropping off cookies, hear the rise behind my word-voice now, "do it!" act on that thought, that good intention. grasp hold before it is gone and forgotten.  brief moment failed.   don't miss the chance to minister well.   we humans need it.  we all need it.  we brokenly forget how much we are in need.  whether strangely open or oddly cool, God created us for connection and for connecting.   some of us pretend to be pretty good on our own.  and we are --- for awhile.   we can all swing the all-by-myself thing occasionally.  sure.  but solo is only so good when we are under the crush of something so big.  God intended us to,  "encourage one another and build each up up, just as you are doing." 1 thessalonians 5:11.   encourage. build. drip honey. heal. be sweet. tell and be told ... just as you are doing.    

"pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul 

and healing to the bones." ~ proverbs 16:24