turkey out. tree in -- coming prepared. {grace words wednesday}

“let us come into His presence with thanksgiving.”  ~ psalm 95:2
it's thanksgiving eve morning. is there such a thing? why yes, of course there is. certainly for those who will spend the day in the kitchen preparing everything one can possibly prepare ahead -- for that person, thanksgiving eve morning matters very much.

maybe some of us don't have a turkey or stuffing to whip up this week, but we all have something to prepare --- we certainly all have our hearts to get ready.

some of you have joined me for my daily thanksgiving posts this month and i do hope that has encouraged you a little. (if you want to find them all in one place click on: daily thanksgiving posts). it has blessed me to have some posting accountability, but, if i'm honest, it has also been a challenge. there have been some days when i didn't really feel like coming up with another picture or verse or word. that stuff doesn't always just effortlessly roll off the tongue or out of the computer ... sometimes, but not always. but this month of thanksgiving was motivating for me, nonetheless. and i knew, whether there were two or two hundred of you coming along, it was a good and necessary exercise for me. it was good for me to find the thoughts of thanksgiving even on the days when thanksgiving was not my first thought.

one thing this month of continuous posting taught me is that thanksgiving isn't just about feeling thankful, sometimes it's about preparing our hearts so that we can choose to be thankful. sometimes it's about saying the words in order to surrender the way. it's about deliberately preparing a path for praise. preparing.

and for those of you who are cooking the big meal tomorrow, you know all about preparation, right? it would be very challenging to run out last minute today and be fully ready for tomorrow. we all know what would happen if we threw a frozen turkey in our shopping cart on this wednesday with hopes of cooking it up on thursday. it doesn't work that way. and neither do we. we can't just show up at the table and hope for some really good thursday thanks to be ready in our hearts. maybe that will kinda work ... or maybe it kinda won't.

but whether we're whipping up a meal or whipping out some thankfulness it helps to be ready ... it helps to come prepared.

now, i'll admit, i'm not always the most prepared girl on the block. (some of you laugh). i forget items on my list. i forget my list. i even forget to make a list. this frustrates me (and a few other dear ones) to no end. growing up i had visions of how organized i'd be about things like holidays and the hoop-a-la that accompanies them. i grew up with dreams of everything being "just so" ... but rarely is it ever "just so." sometimes it is just so crazy or just so cuckoo or just so chaotic. but since i've given up a bit on the pursuit of the just-so-perfect, i have come to realize it is not really about the meal or the home or the hoop-a-la anyway, but about the heart. and though i've probably forgotten something on my list already today, i do hope, in this month, i haven't forgotten to prepare my heart.

not just for the meal tomorrow. but for the message of this continuous holiday season which kicks into full gear sometime in the midst of tomorrow. yes, i'm talking about christmas. the christmas message. have you ever thought about how the thanks-giving prepares us for the gift-giving?

since we're eating with friends tomorrow, i'm not preparing a big meal (hooray for me). but i will be bringing along one of our family traditions. my friend, diana, who is hosting, asked if we had any to share. now she might have been talking about a favorite dessert or potato dish, but i am bringing the tradition of putting a christmas ornament at everyone's place setting.

christmas ornaments on thanksgiving? yes!

i started this a few years ago with my family. i put an ornament by each place setting to remind us that thanksgiving must proceed gift-giving. we all know as soon as the turkey is taken out to the trash the mad scramble into christmas mode begins. some of us even have our trees in the garage ready to go. turkey out. tree in. it's like a funny holiday dance. we are quick to move on. i get it. i know why we feel like this. i understand the pressure of preparing. we, too, like to put up our tree the weekend after thanksgiving. and there's nothing wrong with that.

this christmas ornament on the thanksgiving table isn't intended to speed up that process, but to slow it down; to remind us to give the thanks before we get or give the gift. seem a little backwards? perhaps. but what if thanksgiving did come before gift-giving. wouldn't the giving be greater, sweeter, more beautiful if done with a heart of gratitude?

as we prepare our homes and transition from one holiday to another, let's continue to prepare our hearts. let's turn our attention toward december desiring to be fully in God's presence, keeping in mind that thanksgiving isn't over, but can continue to spill into this next season. the verse i put on this year's thanksgiving ornament is from psalm 95:2: "let us come into His presence with thanksgiving." we come into His presence. we come to adore Him. we come to give gifts. we come to worship the babe in the manger, but let it be our words of thanksgiving which help lead us into the worship of His holy presence.

because, honestly, is there any gift greater? any gift more worthy of our thanksgiving?

this ornament is a reminder that these two holidays aren't in opposition. they aren't fighting for the lime light, but are working together. collaborating. cooperating. making clear the message of Christ. it is because the Christ-child was born in that manger that we have real thanksgiving in our hearts.

oh friends, let's celebrate the season this week and next month ... let's prepare our tables. let's prepare our hearts. let's enter into His presence.

“let us come into His presence with thanksgiving.” 

~ psalm 95:2

{grace words: thanks * giving * prepare * gifts * His presence *}

dear Jesus, on this thanksgiving eve we long to come into your presence. in all of our holiday preparation help us to prepare our hearts for you. give us words to praise you and hearts that want to pursue you. teach us how to combine our thanks-giving and our gift-giving that we might truly know the blessing of all you've so freely given. amen.

gold leaves on the ground {grace words wednesday}

so here we are, almost a week into this month named november.

leaves falling quickly from their trees.
temperatures dropping fast.
and the sky sliding into that winter shade of grey.

you know the season -- the days when it seems all color fades, everything mutes, and life takes on the appropriate tone for winter's imminent hush.

and november just makes it easy for our spirit to fall and fade, to mute and to hush a tiny bit too, right?

just last week, the tree outside my window blazed in pure gold ... and today it seems only a few hardy leaves hang on for dear life.

another one falls ...

bare brown left behind with the background of a metal sky. days closing up shop early. by dinner it's dark. squirrels scurry around in their cold-weather business: gathering. digging. burying.

we've pulled out fleece and hats and, even this weekend, tried on the kids' snow boots. (sigh).

we are preparing.

this month reminds me of everything tucking in, hunkering down, storing up -- readying for what's coming. in minnesota, my friends call it "winterizing." that wasn't a word we tossed around much in the south. but with one minnesota winter now under our belt -- i understand this winterizing. i understand winter. and i know what's coming. oh good grief, i know....

the trees empty.
more gold on the ground ...

and i can feel that small seed of disappointment start to take root deep inside. how fast the warm days of summer sun are gone ...  how brief the heat --- have i mentioned i live in minnesota?

our winter will stretch six, maybe even seven months, across the year. and what am i supposed to do with that? how am i supposed to begin this november in a spirit of thankfulness when i'm facing a land which will very soon feel empty ... turn frozen.

what are we supposed to do with a season which seems to be all about shutting down? staying in? closing up? emptying out?

funny that this is the month for thanksgiving. a part of me wonders why we don't celebrate this holiday in july. why don't we do our great giving of thanks when we are dancing along the shoreline barefoot and fancy free? and warm ... and tan ... and easy.

wouldn't we be more prone to praise under a perfect summer sun?

wouldn't we have more thanks to give with our toes dangling in a lake somewhere?

we could have ice cream cones and ripe slices of watermelon and boat rides  ... fireworks and flags under the bright blue of a july sky. i could give an awful lot of thanks for those summer things. those sweet things.

instead, thanksgiving comes when color fades and the leaves fall and all things become bare.

but ...

is it possible to suggest today that this is the perfect month for praise? when life feels dismal and bleak and just plain blah ... isn't this exactly the time when we should dig deep and look hard at what we have ... at what we hold. even in november.

i know it doesn't seem natural.

perhaps your life feels a lot like a tree in november. things falling off. every day more. dreams and plans falling apart. maybe right now your future feels kind of dim. you're discouraged. possibly even walking a line of despair. you see nothing but a long winter out ahead and you're not sure how you'll do it. handle it. endure it.

maybe it's not the everything, but maybe it's that one thing. that one hard thing. that one piece of your future which seems to be falling apart ... on it's way to numb and frozen.

i don't know what it is, but i know we've all got some bare places.

and strange as it might sound, the one thing i know to do in the november kind of days is to give thanks. someone else might tell you ..."it's okay ... go ahead and hurt ... be mad ... you deserve to be angry ... life stinks ... it's not fair!"  but what if instead of wallowing in that dark place, you begin to give thanks? what if even as the trees lose their leaves and you lose your dreams ... what if even then and there you begin to say those two little words: thank you.

i know it seems contrary to everything our world wants us to believe.

but guess what? --- Jesus is contrary to everything our world wants us to believe.

and, trust me, i know it sometimes feels good to just cross our arms, stomp our foot and become bitter. some disappointments feel too large. some days feel too heavy. some things just too hard. and instead of raising holy arms in thanksgiving we want to hunker down with arms crossed in the thanks for nothing.

i get it.

i've felt that way too.

but if you've lived in this bitter, thankless place, you know it doesn't do anything good. it can't heal. it can't help. it can only make us hurt more.

a couple of blog posts ago, i wrote:

"giving thanks doesn't always change our circumstances, but it changes us."

it does. somehow, that works. when we open our hands to offer up praise, our hearts open up a little bit too. there's some crazy connection. don't take my word for it, go try it. one simply cannot express gratitude and grumbling at the same time. it's one or it's the other. and i'm suggesting today that we have a choice.

even in this first week of november.

even when things fall off or life falls apart.

even when the world tells us we are allowed to be mad ... angry ... hurt ...hardened ... hateful.

i'm writing today to tell you --- you have a choice. don't go for the world's way. it leads only to further destruction. go for God's way and give thanks. give thanks and get life.

the leaves will continue to fall ... and the color will, of course, fade. but you will endure in the warmth of Christ's love when you lift up your arms and open your heart.

The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies;

but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and,

as the magnet finds the iron,

so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!

Henry Ward Beecher

and that's why november is the perfect month for thanksgiving.
and that's why hardship is the perfect time for thanksgiving.
and that's why pain is the perfect chance for thanksgiving.

another gold leaf falls ...

and we (choose to} give thanks.

no matter what happens, always be thankful, 

for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. ~ 1 thessalonians 5:18

my version of "winterizing!"  =)

{grace words: fall * praise * thanksgiving * november}

Jesus, you know the bare spots in my life. you see the empty places -- the parts hurting and hard.  Father, would you help me to choose thanks and fill these holes with your praise? i want to see you even in the falling apart places of life -- especially in those places. Jesus help us to give thanks for all of it ... everything ... even the things which we don't understand or don't like. fill our days with your praise and fill our hearts with your presence. a-men

don't forget to check out BECKY CRENSHAW'S {grace-words} over at THE WORD OF GOD AND A CUP OF JOE. becky's in the middle of a marriage series this month -- maybe another "november-ish" kind of thing in our lives? her series is called "more than fine." her words on marriage are filled with truth, honesty and encouragement!  

the secret of contentment {grace words wednesday}

not that i am speaking of being in need, 

for i have learned in whatever situation i am to be content. 

i know how to be brought low, and i know how to abound. in any and every circumstance, i have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.

~ philippians 4:11-12

we are getting to that time of year again.

you know the time ... when the catalog companies start flooding our mailboxes with glossy books of wonderful, incredible, must-have items. they stack up on the kitchen counter or pile high on a desk corner. by mid november, if left unattended, they could very well consume a small room.

i do my best to toss them immediately.

from the mailbox to the recycling bin they go -- that is, when i'm on top of it.

i'm rarely on top of it ... so of course a few sneak their way over the threshold and onto our coffee table.

and when i find one or two lounging around in their sleek covers of temptation ... i force myself to look away. i don't trust myself with even a quick glance.  because, i tell you, these people are professionals. they know how to get to us {to me!} ... even in the safety of our own homes. especially in the safety of our own homes.

they invade.

they come calling. beckoning us by name. luring our lusty selves over to the dark side of unrealized desire.

and all it takes is a mailbox and few spare minutes.

with just one measly little peek, it can happen: perfectly content hearts can be crushed into a million little pieces of want.

"but mama, i want THIS THING..."
"but mama, i need THIS THING..."
"but mama, i must have THIS THING..."

it doesn't much matter what THIS THING is, does it? when that little string of desire is plucked with coveting fingers, our heart can hear no melody but the song of our longing.

my husband always tells the kids stories of how he, as a child, would wait for that gigantic sears' catalog to arrive at his home each november -- the hours he'd spend hovering inside its pages. circling items. underlining ideas. dog earring corners with his boyish desires.

was there any child growing up in the 70's and 80's that didn't take part in this catalog rite of passage?

now days we have computers. we don't even have to wait for those glossy books to be dropped in our boxes. we can access our wants and wishes anytime -- day or night, they are a mere website away.

and i'm just as bad.

at any given time i could go through the pottery barn catalog and find ten items i'm sure i couldn't bare to live without. it's like these magazine designers know me. they know the pictures to show and the buttons to push. they know my weakness. heck, they even know my color schemes. i'm blown away with their savvy shots and their feel-good photography. from table lamps to throw pillows ... they have me cornered.

i'm telling you, it's just better not to look.

here we are, about to step into november -- the month of great thanksgiving -- and so often we find ourselves sort of skipping over it a bit and looking into the next month of great gift-giving. this month where we should celebrate provision, but instead, often think more about purchasing.

and when we forget the thanks-thing and look only to the next-thing, the gift-thing, ... we end up stripping ourselves of the content-thing.

contentment: a state of happiness and satisfaction.

what a wonderful place to be. happy. satisfied. full. complete. enough. content.

it sounds like something I WANT. i am not content with my discontent. do you know what i mean? i want to live as paul describes in the philippians verse above, "in any and every circumstance, i have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need." 

what was paul's secret? --- THANKSGIVING.
paul didn't skip november. what deepens our soul-content is giving soul-thanks for what we already have. if we bury our noses in books of more stuff, our eyes become blind to the treasure in front of our faces. our hands become numb to what we already hold.

as we begin our slide into november ... i encourage you {and me...mostly me!} to keep a lid on the longing ... to look instead for the gifts already given. to be content ... wherever. whatever. however. our gifts won't show up perfectly packaged in our mailboxes, but if we take the time to go looking - hunting - searching - counting - we will find them and we will find paul's secret to being content.

check back tomorrow! i'm going to introduce a new challenge-opportunity-gift for the month of november ... and i invite you to join me in thanksgiving ... in giving thanks. each day. every day. let's not skip over november.

{grace words: thanksgiving * contentment * treasure * enough}

Jesus, would you give us hearts of gratitude and eyes to see the abundance of your daily gifts. would you give us words of thanksgiving. teach us contentment. show us the secret. we praise you, Lord. you are always more than enough.

for more {grace words} this morning ... head over to becky's post at 
THE WORD OF GOD AND A CUP OF JOE.

don't get mad, get even {grace words wednesday}

don't get mad, get even. 
okay, so it's not {exactly} biblical.
but i like it.
and, on occasion, it works.

like last week when i removed all the light bulbs from my teenage daughter's bedroom and bathroom. nine of them. taken. gone. hidden away.

total darkness.

i hadn't been plotting this cold-blooded act of parenting. there was no plan. no premeditation. in fact, it was kind of a light-bulb moment when the idea first turned on in my brain.

after being gone most of the day, i had grabbed a stack of laundry and carried it down the hall to her room. and there, no less than six hours, from her morning exit, i found at least seven of her lights beaming brightly. the afternoon sun streaming through the windows mixed with the blaze of bedside lamps was, for a moment, almost blinding.

and in this brilliant flash, i saw red ... and then i saw the cha-ching-cha-ching of dollar signs.

just this past week the electric bill had arrived.

it wasn't pretty ... and i was pretty done.

her dad and i have repeatedly asked her to turn off the lights before leaving for school each morning ... and for some reason, this request hasn't sunk in.

she's a bright girl. gets good grades. varsity athlete. tall. seems socially savvy enough. but there's been this disconnect with her light switch for a long, long time.

of course i had to share this moment on
facebook.  =) i love all the "likes"...
most of them from parents who get it! 

often i feel as if i just repeat myself.

over and over and over. again.

flip the switch on and off ... on and off ... on and off.

perhaps you know this cycle of which i speak.

if you're a parent, i'm sure you do!

we nag and needle and remind. we ask and plead and push. we jump on that merry go
round of parenting which spins us round and round with our easy expectations and simple requests ... and then hurls us off into a mud puddle of failure and frustration when our kids seem to ignore our wishes.

i am not the first parent to ride this wheel of bewilderment, and i'm sure i won't be the last. but still ... we get to a point when we feel like we either have to do something drastic or blow our cool. i've gone the blowing-my-cool route before, too .... not especially pretty.

so, standing in her room with an armful of clean clothes, i decided instead of getting really, really angry ... i'd get really, really resourceful.

instead of getting mad, i'd get even.

last year my friend, paige, told me that was her husband's motto in parenting. "don't get mad, get even." (you need to know that paige and hank have 6 kids. by the way, i always get the best ideas from big families -- i think it's quite often a matter of survival). hank's simple motto stuck with me.  i've thought of it several times since our talk last december.

... son leaves his new tennis shoes outside in the rain. they get wet -- he must wear them.

... another son fails to bring his soccer jersey to the laundry room in a timely manner -- he gets to wear a dirty, smelly jersey at his next game.

... daughter forgets her homework back at school -- she gets a poor grade and misses her recess.

it's called natural consequences. and they're good for our kids.

in fact, i think they're great for our kids. way better than mom or dad running around ranting and raving about light switches and wet shoes, right?

but these examples above, let's be honest, they are rather insignificant, right? kind of small potatoes really. i'm not sure my boys even care if their shoes are wet or if their soccer jersey stinks to high heaven.

there are other, larger kinds of consequences to poor choices or bad decisions though.

last week in our prayer challenge one of the words was righteousness. and i have to tell you, it's one of those big, hairy, ugly, even kind of uncomfortable words. none of us are righteous on our own, and yet we are told multiple times in God's Word to "practice righteousness," to "live rightly" or to "make right choices."

we can't earn our righteousness, just like we can't earn our redemption or salvation.

but, that doesn't mean we don't have choices. we do! and with those choices there will come reward or their will come wrath.

uh-huh, i said it. i did. i used the wrath word.

if you're like most people, you want to talk a lot about the reward, but not so much about that wrath thing -- reminds me of five kids i know. it's no surprise how we can verbally belabor a good grade or a great serve or blue ribbon ... but when we need to address an unfortunate action or a  mistake or a bad choice or just some plain, old sin all of a sudden the room empties out.

it's how we're wired. i'm not saying i'm surprised. i get it. i, too, love the crowns and compliments and kudos. i much prefer those things to consequences and condemnation.

who doesn't?

but here's the deal, sweet friends, psalm 7:11 clearly tells us, "God is a righteous judge." and, like it or not, the last time i checked, a judge deals with both -- sweet reward and dire consequences.

"and now the prize awaits me--the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return." ~ 2 timothy 4:8 

"for the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth." romans 1:18

there will be a day of judgment. God will return and He will judge us according to our lives. we will have to give an account. crowns of righteousness will be rewarded, just as the wrath of God will be revealed. this is not my opinion, this is what God's Word says. it's a big deal, friends. i know it's not a nice, warm, wednesday morning, feel good kind of discussion, but sometimes we just need to put away the fluff and the feel good stuff. we need to stop making excuses. we need to be reminded that what we do does matter.

i stole my daughter's light bulbs to get her attention. (and i'm really hoping it worked).

is God trying to get your attention? our attention? my attention?

has He taken something away or maybe even made things a bit dark? is there a chance that He is trying to make a point in your life?

thankfully, God's motto isn't: "don't get mad, get even." if it was, we'd all be in a boat load of trouble! i can't begin to imagine what that would look like in my life.

but God is Just and He is Holy and He does demand our attention and obedience.

what message is He sending your way today?

i could leave this right here. and it would be probably be enough to ponder for a while. but, i want to go back to that courtroom scene i mentioned earlier ----

God is the judge.

and we -- all of us -- sit in the hot seat clutching our collection of dirty deeds and dark secrets.

we deserve wrath.

deep inside, we know it.

and, what's more, we know we haven't got a case.

it's desperate. hopeless. a surely condemned situation.

but then Jesus enters.

He sweeps into the courtroom, coming right for us, and asks, "will you let me sit in your place?"

we have a choice -- yes or no.

if we stay in our seat, we suffer God's judgment.

but ... if we say yes to Jesus and surrender our seat to Him. He takes our place. He takes our sin. He takes God's wrath ... and He leaves it -- all of it -- nailed to the cross.

He, the one who knew no sin, covers our unholy, awful, ugliness with His beautiful, beautiful righteousness.

what we could not do for ourselves, He does for us.

and that's grace.

beautiful, undeserved, freely given ... grace.

a crown of righteousness or the wrath of God? which do you choose?

{grace words:
righteousness * grace * light * crowns}

Jesus -- it is in your mercy that you grab hold of us. it is in compassion that you demand our attention. when we are making choices which lead to dire consequences and even death, you are not silent --- sometimes, you even shake us up a bit. Lord, shake us free from our sinful ways. remove what you must to grab hold of our hearts. it's a scary thing to pray ... but we want to be all ours. we desire crowns of righteousness which come with surrendering to your Spirit. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

if you desire to go deeper on this topic, i'd encourage you to read through romans 8. i've included a piece of it here below.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.   ~ romans 8

don't forget to head over to BECKY CRENSHAW at THE WORD OF GOD AND A CUP OF JOE for her sweet grace words this morning! she's writing about a rendered heart ... 

wisdom {grace words wednesday}

some days i’ve got nothing.

i mean it: nada. zero. zip.

i know i’m the mom and i’m supposed to have all the answers. 
i’m supposed to always know where everyone’s uniform is and if there’s an extra bottle of ketchup in the pantry. 

off the top of my head, i'm supposed to know everyone’s shoe size and dress size and favorite food. 

i’m supposed to know what time we have to be at the game or the meeting or the party or the appointment. 
and how to get there. 
and what to wear. 
and what we were supposed to bring and say and do.

i’m supposed to have this mother-mind that keeps it all clear and clean and tidy--all perfectly under control and right on track. i’m supposed to ...

except, usually i don’t.

i don’t miraculously hold all the details and directions. i don't have eyes in the back of my head, a built-in-clock in my brain or the supernatural ability to discern my child's cry from a mile away.

i know some moms who do -- or at least it seems like they do. 

when a woman can throw out her family’s activity schedule and a well balanced meal plan two weeks in advance, i’ll be honest, it makes me a little uneasy. maybe even intimidated. i find myself staring. like the mouth-hanging-wide-open kind of staring. i think the word is gape or gawk. i quickly become a gawker or a gaper and i have to yank myself back to reality. yank myself back and then go buy myself a snickers bar or a chai tea or something to help me recover from the unnerving display of all that mama-resourcefulness and responsible behavior.

i do my best.

and i’m okay with that. well, usually i am. because here's the deal: i am not sure i’m supposed to be any better at juggling more details ... but i do desire more discernment.  

stocking the freezer with winter soups and comfort food casseroles is a good plan -- a great plan, in fact! but what i really need to squirrel away is more wisdom.

i want it ready to go. 

i want it on the tip of my tongue.

i want to have it all set in a place which makes it easy to whip out when needed. and oh, friend, it is needed. often.

it’s nice to know the location of a clean pair of socks or how many refills are left on the prescription or if it's my turn to drive carpool .... those are important and helpful pieces of information.

but isn’t it more important to be wise?

that’s where i want to improve. wisdom.

i want to know better how to address a sassy teenager or an out of control toddler. how to encourage a defeated daughter or a stressed out son.  how to make time for a boy who needs help with his homework or answer the call of a hurting friend. i want to know how to make dinner while offering advice about boys or college or mean girls or gossip.

i’m not entirely opposed to my kids asking me the whereabouts of their favorite pair of sneakers or if i washed their soccer jersey.  that’s all fine and good. but i really want to be the mom who helps them figure out the big stuff ... the bigger stuff. i’d love to be a mom who can help them make decisions, steer them in the right direction and uncover truth.

because this mom-thing isn’t just about having a well organized schedule at our fingertips. this mom thing isn’t about memorizing shoe sizes or knowing when we are running low on toothpaste. no, this mom thing is about being in tune with the state of our kids’ hearts and minds and relying on Jesus to provide wisdom accordingly.

"she speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." ~ proverbs 31:26

that's the woman i really want to be. 

instead, somedays, i feel a little more like, "she speaks with impatience, and constant nagging is on her tongue." 

{cringe}!

do you know what i mean? anyone else out there struggling with discernment? anyone else out their desiring her words to be a tad more wise and faithful and balanced?

God's word is clear: if we want to be wise, we must ask. let's be honest, we're not really born with it, are we? we must ask. just like king solomon did in 1 chronicles:

 "That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”(okay, seriously, can you even imagine?)

Solomon answered God, “You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?" God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, possessions or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you."

seriously, what would you say if God said to you, "ask for whatever you want me to give you." if i'm honest here, i can think of a few (not so noble) things immediately. but at the end of the day, i know wisdom would be right up there at the top of my list. 

what is it you are asking God for today? 

{grace words: wisdom * discernment * faithful * instruction}

Jesus, would  you give this wordy woman some extra wisdom. help me to pass all thoughts, ideas, responses and words through the filter of you. control my impulses, temper my thoughts, restrain my actions and sift my words. i want to be speak your truth and your grace in all circumstances. bridle ME Jesus, and unleash YOU in all things. a-men!

i hope you are still following along with our october prayer challenge! this morning's word was wisdom! (yes, i planned that)! you can connect with the prayer challenge on my facebook page jody mcnatt - even the sparrow

don't forget to check out my friend, becky crenshaw's, {grace words} post. you'll find her at the word of God and a cup of joe!

{grace words wednesday} : when it feels like Jesus is across the lake

"when Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake ..." ~ mark 5:21

can you see the father pacing on the beach? the daddy whose daughter lay dying. the desperate papa wild with fear for his child. the synagogue leader standing helpless on the shoreline ... searching for Jesus.

Jesus who was out on a boat.
Jesus who was across the lake.
Jesus who was busy healing others.

can you imagine the man weak at water's edge scanning the thin line of horizon. waiting. wondering. wringing his hands in the anxiety of what if?

what if Jesus doesn't come in time?
what if Jesus can't help?
what if she dies?

we feel a little like that father sometimes,
don't we?

when our child has an issue or an illness or an incredibly challenging problem. we pace the shoreline wondering where God's deliverance is.

maybe even wondering where God is ...

i have felt like that father in mark chapter 5.

the very week we began the adoption of our daughter, bella, we were told she had gone into respiratory/cardiac distress and been hospitalized. while we were signing papers and readying documents and gearing up for a year long pursuit of this tiny girl from china, she was undergoing emergency open heart surgery half a world away.

bella was 18 months old and she spent four weeks recovering in a hospital. alone.

and there wasn't anything we could do about it. not one single thing.

on the other side of the world we paced for an entire year, not knowing much about how she was doing. updates were limited -- scarce, in fact. when we pleaded to find out more, we'd get a response like, "she's doing better" or "she's doing fine."

but you mamas and daddies know that "better" and "fine" don't quite cut it when your child is sick and 7,000 miles away.

as parents we want to DO SOMETHING.

from july 2009 until july 2010, i paced, i prayed, i pleaded with God to speed up the adoption and bring this little girl home to her family.

and if i'm honest, at times it felt like Jesus was on the other side of the lake ... out on a boat ... busy with someone else.

in mark chapter 5, Jesus returns to the fear-ridden father on the beach.

His boat hit the shoreline and in the middle of the assembled crowd stood jairus ... still there ... still waiting.

"then one of the synagogue leaders, named jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet. he pleaded earnestly with him, 'my little daughter is dying. please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.' so Jesus went with him." ~ mark 5:23-25

did you get that? he.fell.at.His.feet.  i don't know if it was in desperation or in relief or maybe just in plain old exhaustion, but jairus, the powerful synagogue leader, fell at the feet of Jesus and began to plead for the life of his daughter.

this month, many of you have joined me in a 31 day prayer challenge, praying for our kids. we are already into week two and i don't know about you, but it has blessed me to intentionally fall at the feet of Jesus each morning and plead on behalf of my five. i've been praying for and with and about my kids for years, but something about this intentionality feels different. it's more like that pacing ... like wearing a path in the sand ... because of continual, regular, scheduled, committed prayer.

isn't that how we're supposed to pray 365 days for our kids? for ourselves? for everything? shouldn't there be a path well worn in the sand ... a patch of carpet threadbare by our bedside?

i'm not always that kind of pray-er -- but i want to be. when i encounter burdens or bruised living, i want it to be the first instinct, the first impulse, the first idea ...

oh friend, i don't know what kind of desperate pacing is taking place in your home right now. i don't know what kind of concerns or worries or heartbreak is keeping you up at night. but i do know each of you probably has something which you'd like to leave at the feet of Jesus. chances are there is (or has been) something about your child which keeps you on your knees. something which makes you look to the horizon wondering: where is Jesus?

because sometimes in our frailty we, like jairus, fear those same what ifs. what if Jesus isn't enough?

and just like in life, this story in mark 5 isn't clean cut and quick. no, it goes on with several interruptions. in the midst of their conversation about the daughter of jairus Jesus turned and healed a totally different woman. i know jairus had to be thinking, "hurry Jesus. come with me. forget all these other people. i need you. now. focus Jesus! Jesus ...Jesus ... Jesus!"

and, if that wasn't enough, just as they were about to leave, some people appear from the girl's bedside saying, "your daughter is dead, why bother the teacher anymore?"

jairus could have given up. turned away. shuffled home.

but Jesus overhearing them replies, "don't be afraid; just believe."

i know sometimes it feels like Jesus is far away -- (across the lake). it feels like surely He has too much else to do -- (healing another person). it feels like the situation is hopeless -- (your daughter is dead).

i know.

but friend, hold tight to His answer, "don't be afraid; just believe."

Jesus is always around. always available. and always able.

 "when they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. He went in and said to them, 'why all this commotion and wailing? the child is not dead, but asleep.' ... He took her by the hand and said to her, “talitha koum!” (which means 'little girl, I say to you, get up!'). immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around ..." ~ mark 5:38-42

one year after our daughter's life saving surgery in china, she came home. healthy. heart fully pumping. healed. i'll never forget our appointment with the cardiologist in that first week of her arrival. i'll never forget the doctor (who wasn't a believer) looking at bella's heart in the ultrasound room and declaring, "it's amazing. it's a miracle."

"don't be afraid; just believe."

"talitha koum!"

{grace-words: believe * around * available * able * talitha koum!}

Jesus, you encourage us: "come to me all who are weary and burdened ..." all who wring their hands and worry through their days and wonder about the great what ifs.  "come to me."  Father God, let our paths be well worn as we come. let us learn to bring our burdens and our fears before you. teach us, like the desperate daddy, jairus, to even fall at your feet and listen for your voice, "don't be afraid; just believe." a-men.

linking up again this morning for {grace words} with becky crenshaw over at The Word of God and a Cup of Joe ...  "if your kids resist Jesus."