real women. real inspiration -- meet alex and krista

as i explained in my last post, this month i'm dedicating my blog to some of the amazing gals God keeps sending my way. seriously, i'm like almost tripping over them --- these girls "who are getting it done and encouraging others while doing it!"

it's my birthday month and i'm hosting a party here on my blog this november and sharing some of these treasures with y'all.

so without further ado, it brings me great joy this afternoon to introduce to you two of my favorite gifts: krista and alex.

i met krista several years ago at a proverbs 31woman's conference in north -- or was it south? -- carolina. makes no matter, because krista has this amazing way about her which just draws people in wherever you are with her. it has something to do with the fact she very well might be the best lover-of-people and the best listener-to-people i've ever met. standing there in that conference center in (some) carolina, she simply asked me to tell her my story. and we ended up talking well into the night. yep, just like that.

alex and i connected when she and krista invited me to a retreat they hosted in idaho last fall -- the open door. i became smitten with this new friend immediately and a sisterhood was born! alex lives in colorado and i live in georgia, but recently we were able to spend time again when we teamed up in milwaukee, wisconsin to speak at the MOPS international convention.

you're tracking all of that, right? hello, skymiles.

anyway, this post isn't about our travels, but it is about where God is taking these two women with their talents and their teamwork.
in addition to having husbands and multiple children, my friends are both published authors and busy speakers who write and talk specifically to encourage women. you can tell just from the title of their books.

krista's book, reclaiming home: a family's guide for life, love and legacy, was released last fall and alex's most recent book, loving my actual life: an experiment in relishing what's right in front of me, was released this past spring.  if the books, full of powerful and practical ideas, offer great insight and encouragement. if you go above and click on the names, you'll be directed to these girls' websites. check them out. and friends, i want you to know these ladies are the real deal. i know them both well. i know their hearts. and i know the words in these books and the ones that come out of their mouths are 100% authentic. alex and krista are living it out, figuring it out, wrestling it out  ... just like you and me. they encourage not from a place of expertise, but from a place of experience and empathy.

one of my favorite things these two have done together is begin a sisterhood movement. last year, they invited 12 strangers to idaho for a retreat called "the open door." twelve diverse and pretty much unconnected women came together to learn more about what it means to come together as women. they repeated this rereat again this past fall with a brand new group of gals and they have plans to continue. it isn't easy work organizing, planning and implementing this kind of undertaking. i mean, seriously, i struggle making a grocery list for my family most weeks. but these two did this with such intentionality and thoughtfulness. as an attendee, i cannot tell you the details they added to bless us. they thought of everything.

so why would two women take on this kind of task to plan a retreat for others -- strangers, at that? what is this open door sisterhood thing all about?
here's what they had to say:

It's about encouraging one another to believe God. Believe who he says he is and what he promises. And then to encourage one another to live from that belief in our daily decisions. We like to say we are encouraging women to "be world changers for good right where you are." That means believing God can use all of us regardless of our circumstances. I also believe the sisterhood is about calling out where we see God working in each other. Sometimes it's difficult to see that when our life circumstances are pushing in on us from all sides. But a sister can often spot a talent, a tender spot in our heart, our growth in an area, when we are blinded by life swirling around us. It's this calling out that helps us see how God is moving. And finally we want women to walk through doors God opens. It starts with believing him, finding where he's working in our own life and being obedient to the next step.

and because writing books and hosting retreats isn't enough for this dynamic duo, they also decided to launch a podcast this year.  in fact, this month marks their 21st episode -- a milestone in the podcast world. you can listen at {the open-door sisterhood podcast}  the underlying theme? you guessed it --- encouragement. when i'm cleaning the house, folding laundry or driving around town, i turn on these podcasts and listen. oh my goodness, y'all, they are fantastic. please listen, you'll be blessed.

so, maybe you're like me and you're kind of wondering how a girl from colorado and a gal from idaho join forces, write books, throw retreats and host podcasts. like i said earlier, i can't seem to figure out the grocery list making these days. how is this even possible when most of us struggle to meet a friend for a cup of coffee? i asked them this question. here's alex's response:

I mostly try to keep up with Krista! Truly none of this would be happening were it not for her initiative. We try to split tasks, though we each have different gifts. We spend a lot of time on Voxer, texting on the phone and video conferencing. Technology allows us to plan and execute these things from our two kitchens. I am so thankful God placed us in this ear where we can collaborate from states away and still drive our kids to soccer practice.

My house is never clean and Krista doesn't sleep. We all have to give somewhere :). We still only have 24-hours in our day like everyone else, this is just where we spend our "extra."

retreat throwing, podcast hosting and book writing:  i asked these two whirlwinds to explain the connection in all of it. and they said this:

The retreat stemmed from our own writing/speaking life and a feeling that we needed a circle of women who were pursuing the same calling who could spur us on. And then the podcast spun out of our core values. We wanted to extend the same encouragement to women outside of the limited retreat circle (listen to episode 21, it gives a great overview for how all of this came about). For me writing is my strength. It is where I feel most comfortable, but also where I believe I'm most effective. So I need to stay focused on this area even though I'm easily distracted by the good things happening with the retreat and podcast. But the sisterhood spurs me on. As I talk to women, as we interview them on the podcast, I'm reminded of how I'm uniquely wired and it gives me the motivation I need to keep going.

pretty amazing stuff from a couple of pretty amazing women. but, what i love most about them is the humility and honesty they bring to everything they do. with all of these accomplishments under their belts, they continue to work from a place of total dependence on Jesus. that comes through in everything they do. they'd be quick to tell you, "it's not what we are doing, but what He is doing through us."

krista and alex, you inspire me!
i love you girls to pieces.  xo, jody


p.s. if you're still unsure as to why all this celebrating and encouraging stuff is necessary, i'd invite you to link back to a post i wrote a couple of months ago unpacking what often occurs between women. 
the post is called sisterhood: rejoicing or jealous?

next week, i'll be introducing you to an old friend ... stay tuned! 

a few lessons learned in moving

three moves in three years. it sounds insane.
{it is}.

and it was only a week ago that we said our final farewell to minnesota --
to the beautiful place and to the beautiful people.

we traveled a thousand miles this week.
it seems more.
much more.


and just-like-that -- we are back in georgia.
or, well, sort of “just-like-that” ...
because, be assured, there’s a little more to it.

this morning, i sit in our southern house overtaken by cardboard boxes and confusion, impatient with the disorder and disarray. wishing wildly for that magical moving-wand which puts everything in its place and cleans up the chaos.

you’d think a woman who has moved her family three times in three years might have an extra shortcut or two tucked away in her arsenal.
maybe.
maybe a few shortcuts, but no magical moving-wand.
plain and simple, my friends, it takes a little organization, a hefty dose of perseverance and a whole lot of elbow grease.

like most challenges in life, the only way to dig out, is to dig in.

maybe you’ve moved before and you know the drill ...
the days when you can’t believe order will ever be achieved under this new roof.
the days so piled high with belongings and stuff you wonder where in the world it all came from.
the days when you fall exhausted into your sheet-less bed with a bare brushing of the teeth.
the days when you kinda want to meet your new neighbors but secretly hope to goodness they don't come calling while the house (and YOU) look "this way."

yeah, that.

yeah, those kind of days.

our second morning here, rick and i opened 11 kitchen boxes before 7 am in search of some sugar for our coffee. 11 boxes and no sugar. so we just had to give thanks for the coffee.

it’s been almost six days and though we are starting to see some progress, we still don’t have television, internet or a working washing machine and dryer … and, at this point, it's a toss up on which service is more important. the laundry room stinks to high heaven and the kids have gobbled up our data plan like a plate full of chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. with three teenagers in the house, i can tell you, both laundry and internet are necessities.

but on the bright side, we have located our coffee, our tooth brushes, the dog leashes and our underwear.

oh, and yes, the sugar. the sugar has also been found. thank heaven for the sugar.

seriously, what more do we need?

there's no way around it, moving shakes things up a bit. not just in the house, but also in the woman. at least in this woman.  i’ll admit, i’m a gal who likes to sort of think she’s in control; a girl who likes to think she has a handle on it all (okay on at least a handle on a little).
but what i’ve learned in moving is: i don’t.

moving has a way of stripping you clean. there's something in the process which reveals a lot. and i’m not just talking about what we find when we move the sofa or pull up the rugs (though that’s disturbing enough to warrant it’s own level of horror). no, i’m talking about when we are stripped away of our false sense of control. when we are faced only with the option of surrender. there's something kind of crazy and confusing and humbling (oh, my goodness h.u.m.b.l.i.ng.) when a crew of people descend on your home, pack up your stuff, fit it on a truck and carry it off … a person quickly realizes that though she can say things like, "oh, be careful with that, please" or "oh, please put that here..." she is really at the mercy of many hands in a move. and though, as we experienced with the truck fire of 2012, that sometimes doesn’t end so well … i, ultimately (and somewhat painfully) think it’s a worthwhile lesson to learn.

lesson #1: we are not in control.

and yet the moving isn’t really about the moving. and it’s not at all about the stuff. as much as i like to decorate and organize it’s not about hanging pictures or assigning a cupboard to the pots and pans, it’s not even about finding everyone’s underwear.

it’s about people.

for us, it’s always about people.

the people we have to leave and the people we get to come back to.

because the exhaustion of physical moving doesn’t compare to the emotion of physical leaving and returning.

i feel it. my kids feel it.

the goodbyes a week ago were rough. brutal in some ways. heart-breaking. we have grown to love so many special friends up north.

and the hellos this week have been sweet. beautiful in lots of ways. heart-warming. we have always loved so many special friends, here, down south.

but either way – coming or going – the emotions are running sky high because we’re people and we love people and we are loved by people.

lesson #2: there are awesome people – forever friends – both in the north and the south! (i know for those of you who don't venture above or below the mason dixon line much, this might be hard to believe ...  but it's true)!

and guess what? we need these friends.

i found this out a long time ago, but i continue to be reminded of it with each new experience. when we moved to the north, i kind of half-hoped i'd have the chance to play the role of hermit. you know, the romantic recluse, holed up in her home out on the lake. i pictured myself curled up fireside writing, reading and feeding my naturally introverted spirit. i saw it as a hiatus from my reputation as an over-involved woman. i had made up my mind to limit my connections and to put the breaks on my busy-ness.

but then, hermit or not, people showed up.

friends came into my life, one by one. people that i desired to know better. people that i couldn't resist wanting to know better. people who i needed. yes, needed. here's a picture of just a few of the warm girlfriends God blessed me with in our two years in cold minnesota. these are some of the girls who came alongside me ... me the woman who thought she didn't need anyone's "coming along."
how thankful i am for them!

that was in the north and coming back to the south, i've found the same thing: this community has the same kind of love. it's the hands and feet love of Christ. after driving a thousand miles we arrived to find my (old) friends had stocked our refrigerator and pantry. it was amazing! my dear friend, karen, has done a couple of loads of laundry for me this week. she's also helped me (when i was still up in minnesota) with some interior design choices: measurements, light fixtures and cabinetry. this week we've had friends drop off dinners and pickup children. these are the very same friends who have been coming alongside us for the past 15 years. friends who were with us through babies and adoption and cancer. that kind of love is priceless.

north or south, what would i do without my friends?

lesson #3: we need other people.

friendship is good. it’s all good. even the sadness of saying good-bye. we’ve done it now two times. two years ago in georgia and now in minnesota. was it worth it?
yes. yes. yes. yes. YES! YES!

it was a risk.
i know people questioned us. “how can you pick up a family of seven and move a thousand miles away?”
don’t you know how hard this is for kids, for teenagers, for you?”

yep, people questioned it when we made that first big move.
heck, WE questioned it!

but it was so worth the risk. my emily summed it up beautifully last week in her instagram post:

this is the same girl who stood at the delta counter two years ago sobbing that she’d “never find friends like the ones she had in georgia.”
and now she (and all of us) shed tears to leave what we found in minnesota.

worth all this coming and going? worth all these tears?
 to quote a few northern people i know, “you betcha!”


lesson #4:  it’s good to take a little bit of a risk. even if it involves some heartbreak, headache and tears.

my wise friend, diana, texted me that we need to find “joy in the tears.” is that possible? yes. because, as a.a. milne said, "how lucky am i to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

our final night in minnesota, di captured our girls in this photo. her own beautiful form of photographic torture. what a picture! right? people who don’t even know us can look at this and want to cry!

it’s precious and it’s a precious reminder of God’s provision. because, honestly, that’s the other big lesson we’ve learned: God provides. always.

this little friendship between bella and emme is a perfect reminder of how God takes care of us whether we are moving or staying.

i mean it might be a little strange if i lined up all my kids with all their special friends, stuffed bears and balloons … so this photo is just going to have to represent the same thing for all of us.
(if you are big into being fair then just go ahead imagine the rest of my kiddos and their buddies lined up on the shoreline with the sunset and these props)!

but seriously, lesson #5: God provides. 

when we moved to minnesota two years ago, i had this crazy kind of prayer on my heart. well, let’s be honest, i had a lot of crazy kind of prayers on my heart. for that matter, i had a lot of just plain crazy. but one of the things i kept talking to God about was (and this might sound weird) a chinese friend for bella. not that i only ever want chinese friends for bella … not at all … but i wanted at least one. one. you see, for some strange reason, i had this vision that everyone “up north” was blond-haired, blue-eyed and named olsen. and though there are a lot of them and that’s cool, something in me desired a friend for bella who might share her story a little. sound strange? maybe it is. i don’t know, but God just laid that on my heart.  i mean it people, He LAID it on my heart. like i couldn’t escape that prayer request. and so i just kept praying it.

emme and bella's first play date

and then y’all know the story. first day of school at chapel hill and BAM! there she was, “little emme.” little emme AND her mama … right there waiting for us. like God could have just wrapped them up in a big red ribbon and said, “see jody. see, I provide. I heard you and I always provide.”

me and my pal, diana.

and we got not only a good buddy for bella, but i got a good buddy in her mom, too! crazy, right?

and isn’t this really just like God – to provide immeasurably more than we can ask or think up or imagine?

“now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us. to Him be the glory!” ~ ephesians 3:21

and that’s another lesson we learned up north: not does He just provide, but He provides in abundance. He didn’t just provide for bella and me, He provided abundantly for each of us. i could tell you more stories than just these ... because each one of my children is leaving minnesota with the blessing of dear friends.

lesson #6: God provides abundantly!

lesson #7: God hears our prayers – even the strange ones!

God is in charge of the destination and God is in charge of the details. He can go before us, come behind us and take care of everything all around us. we move (for some of us a lot). He never moves. He never shifts or changes. He is constant. and He is constantly with us.

lesson #8: God moves mightily, but He never changes.

and as i drove away from minnesota just a week ago, i found myself a little overwhelmed with the thought of what was ahead. the truck. the boxes. the stuff. the mess. but more than that … i found myself overwhelmed with the lessons i have really learned in moving three times in three years.

stuff is stuff.
people are important.
God always provides.
God is with us – whether we travel 1 mile or 1000.

and drinking your coffee without sugar (once in a while) is okay.

AND ... having a great friend who also happens to be a great photographer is an added blessing. these photos below also came from our last night in minnesota when diana whisked away our two littles while i was doing the final big pack and clean. i will miss diana's amazing photographs, but she knows, as much as i love her pictures, i will miss her 1000 times more.

so, i wrote this saturday morning ... and now, i'm posting on sunday evening. i should probably tell you the good news: after a visit from a tenacious (and super nice) plumber, we have a working washer and dryer today! still no tv or internet ... BUT. we. are. getting. there!

this leaving minnesota

it wasn't supposed to be this hard.

this leaving minnesota.

and yet, as the time draws closer,  the lump in our throats grows bigger, the emotions run higher, and the sadness of soon good-bye grows deeper.

after two years in this lovely state, it is time to say farewell.

by the end of next week, our house will be packed up and we will be heading back to georgia.

some of you are well aware. some of you had no idea.

i haven't said a whole lot about it publicly, but that's been our game plan for a while now. it's one of those things which isn't 100% easy to explain. we had the option to go back to atlanta and that's what we chose. there's no job change or anything like that ... just the chance to go back to what feels most like home. back to the place we spent almost 15 years. with emily heading off to college and sarah beginning high school, this seemed to be the best year to make this big transition.

except minnesota has woven itself into us in ways we weren't expecting. and, now, in these final days before departure, we feel a little tangled up in all that we love here: the people, the friends, the schools, the church, the lakes, the beauty, the summer ... 

but, mostly, the people.

God has been so good in providing an amazing community for us in these two years. so very good. it seems almost impossible we've become so attached to so many ... so quickly ... so deeply. it's what the body of Christ does though. north or south, east or west, when you serve the same God the connections are strong and deep and sure.

our family is living proof of this provision.

it will be hard to leave these new found friends in this new found land. very hard.

many of them have become family.  they love us. we love them. 

bittersweet. i can think of no other more perfect word for this parting.

when we made this big move to minnesota two years ago, i never imagined what God had in store for us. i was riddled with doubts about what we were doing. i spent that summer of 2012 certain we had missed God's will and we were possibly even making a mistake. somedays those doubts bordered on that frightening line of despair. i know my posts back then were filled with adventure and my very best bravery ... but deep inside this mother's heart, i was scared out of my mind: what if it was all wrong. what if this time we had really messed up. what if we had missed the signs. what if. what if. what if ...

and though it didn't happen overnight, God, slowly and surely and perfectly, revealed the beauty of His plan for our family in minnesota.

despite the negative degree days in winter, we were supposed to be here. 

despite the pain of good-byes and the hassle of moving homes, we were supposed to be here. 

despite all the things we had to acclimate to, transition through, and readjust ourselves within, we were supposed to be here.

despite all the challenges and upheavals and boxes to unpack, we were right where God wanted us.

the blessing of these two years in this too-cold-land are too many to count.

i can honestly say, our lives are richer, fuller, better for the time we spent "up north."

lake-living, intense cold, beautiful snow, ice-fishing, cross country skiing, snowshoeing, smart wool and good gear, photography, boating, jet-skiing, cabin-life, wild lilacs, walleye, new accents, dark green grass, winding trails, sunsets and sunrises on water, wildflowers roadside, bonfires and bike rides, hot dishes and bars and snow at christmas (and easter) ...

heck, emily even got to be part of a state championship volleyball team!

there's been so much. so, so much.

and so i can hear some of you asking: then why are you leaving? and though it's a good question and one we have been wrestling with for months and months, i am not going to attempt to spell it all out in this blog post. i can't. there are deep things which sway us in both directions and we had to make a decision. and i can only assure you, it wasn't an easy decision to make. we've waffled. we've felt pulled in both places. we basically wanted both. {of course we did}.  i've admitted before, i'm a girl who likes her cake and wants to eat it, too!

in my mind, i'd like to mix all the best things of the north and the south. a lovely combining of all these wonderful friends in both places ... summer in minnestoa, winter in georgia, churches, schools, etc... just this incredible mixture of everything most amazing.

it doesn't work that way though -- at least not on this side of heaven.

sometimes we have to choose. and when we choose one, we grieve the other. that's the place i'm at right now. excited about reuniting with our life in georgia, grieving what we leave behind in minnesota.

is it the right choice? again, i am not 100% certain. we've done our best to discern God's will, to measure the cost, to make the plan. neither rick nor i have received a direct message in this decision. there was no clear email or bold text from God in these past months. we've sorted it out, wrestled it out, plotted it out and prayed it out. {a lot}.

you know what i'm talking about. sometimes God remains quiet. don't get me wrong, God isn't ever confused or in a state of chaos, but sometimes He's quiet.

two years ago, when we made this move to minnesota, i wrote a post using helen keller's words, "life is either a daring adventure or nothing." { http://eventhesparrow843.blogspot.com/2012/02/daring-adventure-and-something.html } and after these two years, i believe this more than ever before. there is no regret in our decision to spend two years up north. none. not even when we were on our 39th day of negative degree cold. not even next week when we can't find our underwear or extension cords or coffee pot. no regret. not even in the fact that this will be our third move in three years. no regret. our family leaves this beautiful place better for our time spent here ... better and more certain of God's goodness and provision.

last week we were leaving a grad party when we came across the bumper sticker "no risk. no story." rick pointed it out to us as we walked to our car ... cool. we believe that. we believe that in our family ... we believe that in our faith.

one of the strong "pulls"back south is to put down roots again. i long for a swing set to be assembled in the backyard for bella, for pencil marks on the wall measuring inches and years, for an address that everyone knows. adventure and risk can be awesome, but i long for things familiar and frayed with everyday routine. of course i do, i'm a mother.  but let's be honest, even those normal things can feel a little risky. even the returning right back to where we came from has it's measure of risk and "what ifs." though we are excited about settling into the home we purchased back in johns creek and weaving ourselves back into our same old church and school community, we know there are a lot of unknowns even there. things change. people change. we've changed.

but, what we have learned in these last few years, is this: even with crazy, crazy change, God stays the same.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." ~ hebrews 13:8

and even though when the goodbyes come next week, it will be harder than any of us ever thought possible, i know that our connections in Christ will continue to run deep and strong and sure. we might not be doing everyday life with these dear ones up north, but there is no distance in God's family.

all week i've had this crazy song from the musical "wicked" running through my head. "for good."
elphaba and glinda's lyrics don't perfectly fit our situation, but there are a few lines which certainly do. "because i knew you ... i have been changed for good."

minnesota, there's no doubt, because we knew you, we have been changed for good.

with those lyrics running through my head, i was prompted to put together a few pictures of our time here. easier said than done. i've tried to capture the highlights, the experiences, the beauty, the people, but even two years are hard to put in a neat little package. not to mention, it was a little bit of self-torture going through the photos and great memories of these last two years. a couple of times i had to close my computer screen and walk away from the project. it doesn't capture everything. two years doesn't allow the chance to get photographed with every dear friend ... but it's something and it will be a sweet thing for our family. and for that i'm glad. plus, it has been a nice escape from all the boxes and packing details!
if you're interested, i'm including the link. and who knows, maybe the state of minnesota will pay me for some good travel publicity!

the snowy tea party... and then some

subtitled: the driveway, the dog and the deck. 
{a three part story -- because life is what happens outside the picture frame}.

it was the perfect day ---
no school.
new snow.
and warmer temps!

we had been waiting for EXACTLY THIS. and monday, it arrived.

diana and i, mama-partners in photography crime, made our plan.

today was the day.

we would re-create the vision diana had shared with me a month or so ago. we would set up and shoot a "snowy tea party" scene with our youngest girls, bella and emme.  yes, yes we would!

over the weekend i had painted the table and chairs ... taking them from plain, old oak to something a little shabbier and chicer ... we had assembled the outfits and "props" and by late monday morning ... we were ready.

game on!

the girls were giddy (though not as giddy as their mamas) because what 5 or 6 year old doesn't want a tea party in the snow?

our picture-plan was perfectly on course -- or so it seemed.

after "checking lighting" (high-tech photographer's term) all over the yard, diana finally settled on the low part of our driveway -- the part we "share" with our neighbors. and that's where the fun began.

scene #1 -- the driveway.

we had no sooner set up this magical scene (smack dab in the middle of the "shared" space) when my neighbor came up the long drive in his snowblowing tractor. (darn! wish we had thought to photograph him). he had plans to continue on toward his house ... except for the roadblock of two chinese girls wearing flowers in their hair and fur wraps, holding tea cups ...

the tractor came to a halt.

i began to think about what i could say ...

offer him a cup of "snow" tea?

a chance to pose in the picture?

a glossy 8 x 10?

it's not every day a man just trying to clear snow from his driveway stumbles upon a scene such as this.

i've had an inkling our sweet next door neighbors think us a bit "out there" ... and i was pretty sure this wasn't going to help convince him otherwise.

leaving the tea party scene, i approached him and his tractor and did my best to explain our "vision." i'm not 100% he was following, but he kind of nodded slowly trying to take in my words. regardless of what he thought, we struck a deal. he kindly agreed to wait a few extra minutes before continuing up the drive.

we hurried. diana snapped as many pictures as she could ... the girls giggled and pretended and played along. they filled their cups with snow and rolled their eyes at their mothers. it was all so delightful for them ... for us... (not so sure about the neighbor).

finally, diana declared she had taken enough.

and scene one came to a close.

we packed up our belongings and trudged back toward the house. with tea cups and table and two little girls out of the way, my neighbor started his tractor and happily continued to plow waving and smiling at us as he passed.

scene #2 -- the dog.

we knew this was going to take a little more work.
and, i assure you, it did.

a pocket full of dog treats, a slice of turkey and a whole lot of: "sit minne, stay minne, no minne, yes minne, come minne!"

what this picture doesn't show is the crazy woman (me) off to the side hopping up and down and yelling wild encouragement at my big beast and tiny daughter.

diana, the ultimate professional, just kept snapping picture after picture after picture.

we were both determined.

{i could only hope the neighbor was too busy plowing to pay us much attention}.

finally diana stood up and declared she was sure she had "something."

it only took 17 dog treats, a broken tea cup, one bruised knee and a gazillion clicks of the camera --- but it was worth it!

as funny as all that was -- or at least as funny as it was to us (i suppose it was one of those classic "you-had-to-be-there" kind of moments) -- the best part was what my other older kids (the ones NOT in the tea party photo shoot) showed me later in the day.

scene #3 -- the deck

while we were out in the front yard recreating a piece of narnia ... my other kids and alex (emily's boyfriend and tyler's friend) were doing snow stunts off the deck ... and, of course, filming themselves.

(click below)
kids' youtube video "jump!"

immediately i knew i'd have to share this. i couldn't very well post all those darling pictures of the surreal "snowy tea party" and not show you the "other part" of the life we lead. i'd hate to mislead you in thinking our life is only about dreamy pink flowers, tea cups and magical photos. oh, people, no, no, no. not the case at all!

remember, there's always more to the story than the pretty picture.

just like in life, there's usually a story of something a little more gritty or raw or real (or COMPLETELY DANGEROUS) taking place in what isn't captured. we might catch a pristine moment in perfect snow and perfect light ... but chances are we also have a kid or two diving off the deck and filming snow stunts.

let the pretty pictures inspire or encourage or bless you ... but don't let them mislead you. we all know, real life is lived way beyond the lens ... and it typically doesn't include pink flowers and china tea cups.

but, by all means, keep taking lots of pictures! you'll never, ever regret it.  xoxo

love my minne!

photo credits: diana rouse
video credit: alex reimer

when the love of Jesus showed up at the pancake house

i was in the middle of writing my february "love post" for tomorrow morning, when my oldest daughter, emily, came bounding into the house all breathless and excited.

"mom, you're never going to believe what happened at breakfast just now!"

putting down the laptop, i came into the kitchen to hear her story.

she went on to tell me how she and a few of her friends were just at OPH (original pancake house) celebrating a couple of their birthdays. they were having a great time and before eating, the girls bowed their heads together at the table to pray. they didn't make a scene or cause a spectacle or do anything to draw any attention to themselves, they just confidently and comfortably prayed out loud together.

when they were finished, a middle aged couple approached them. the woman bent low at the table and said to the 8 teens. "that's awesome girls. that's so cool that you would pray together like that and not be all hushed up about it." she went on to say that so many times when people pray in public they get all quiet and quick and awkward about it -- like they might offend someone listening.

she and her husband just wanted to stop and let the girls know how wonderful it was to see them praying confidently together -- these eight, nice, normal teenage girls about to partake of a pancake feast.

such a neat thing for this lady and her husband to take the time to stop and tell them, right?

but the story isn't over.

when the girls finished breakfast and asked for their check, the waitress, with a big smile, informed them that it had already been taken care of. yep, that couple who stopped to encourage the girls also blessed them by paying their bill before leaving. she said the people who had paid for their breakfast wanted her to pass along the message, "God bless you."

the waitress then went on to tell the girls she had started to cry when this couple explained to her what they wanted to do.

emily and her friends were just blown away. all of them teared up and couldn't believe these people would do such a nice thing. as emily relayed the precious event to me, i, too, teared up.

i bet some of you are doing the same right now as you read this!

why?

why is that such a big deal?

in a culture that is every day growing more and more offended by Christians, this is a story of pure sweetness. this is even a little taste of the victory to come with Christ. we are living in a world where Christians are beginning to look crazier and crazier. people watch us and don't get it. they don't get us. and, what's more, they don't even like us for our beliefs.

the last shall be first?
the weak will be made strong?
the foolish will become wise?

what???

but wait a minute, that doesn't make a lick of sense.

aren't we supposed to take pride in being first and strong and wise? aren't we supposed to take care of numero uno?

why did this couple choose to sacrifice their money and make the effort to pay for a bunch of teenage girls? (and emily informed me they had by no means ordered lightly).

though Christ was sent for the world, the world certainly isn't able to always make sense of Him. even the love of Jesus sometimes looks a bit like lunacy.

but it's not like we should be surprised, right?

"for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." ~ 1 corinthians 1:18

plain and simple, the things of Jesus just don't always make sense.

strangely enough, the post i was writing about for tomorrow is also using a verse where paul talks about us crazy Christians:

"if we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. for Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. and he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." ~ 2 corinthians 5:13-15

so as Christ-followers why do we do what we do? why do we look a little different or crazy or even downright cuckoo to the world? paul cuts right to the chase in this passage when he writes, "Christ's love compels us." 
it compels us to be bold.
it compels us to look a little different.
it even compels us to look a little "out of our mind."

no, it doesn't make sense to the world and its ways. it shouldn't.
we are in the world, but not of the world.

please hear me, i'm not in any way advocating lunacy. (though you might question that from the state of our home some most days). but we certainly should stand out for Christ. we should have the sweet aroma of Jesus around us everywhere we go and in everything we do.

people should know we are Christians by our love.

i'll touch more on that in tomorrow's devotional post (on my sparrow facebook page ) ... but i just had to pound out this story and share it tonight.

be blessed.
be bold.
Christian, don't ever be afraid to claim Christ ...
you might not get your bill paid at a pancake house, but that's okay, your debt was paid by Christ when He died for our sins -- in love.

and when we remember that, how can it not compel us in our love for Him?

our new friend, phyllis

her name tag said phyllis.

but i didn't notice that at first. when you're at the supermarket and a woman steps from behind the deli counter and approaches you ... her name tag isn't the first thing you notice.

but phyllis was headed directly for me.

let me back up a minute. just prior to the advance of this deli counter-woman named phyllis, bella was running out ahead of my cart. i hadn't quite cleared the produce aisle and little miss had already turned the corner, camping out in front of a beanie babies display. a display which just happened to be across from the deli counter.

think grocery store layout ... you get it.

anyway, bella was rummaging through the beanie babies at the speed of an obsessed five year old. she was picking out one after another and clutching them closely to her chest.  and before i even reached her she was already begging.

"puuullleeeasseee mama... puuullleeeasssee, mom, can i get one. puuullleeeasssee!"

begging doesn't even begin to explain the full court press my kindergartner was laying on me.

beginning my hunt in the cheese section for the right sized wheel of brie, i barely glanced up, "no bella. no stuffed animals today."

"puuullleeeeaaase mama!"

"i said no bella. we have too many stuffed animals at our house as it is.  you don't need another one honey. now please go put it back."

"but mama ..."

"---no, bella. that's final." 

you know the scene. you've probably witnessed it a a couple hundred times yourself. it happens every day in grocery stores all across america, right? kids whining for candy bars and packs of gum and beanie babies. beanie babies??? what are beanie babies doing in the grocery store anyway???

she stomped back toward the beanie baby display with her stuffed ladybug swinging at her side. her chin at her chest, her arms crossed in dismay, and her shoulders slumped in complete disappointment -- her mama had said no.

that was when i saw phyllis heading my way.

"excuse me," she said approaching, "but would you let me buy her the stuffed animal?"

honestly, i just stared at her. it took a good minute or so to comprehend what she was asking.

was the lunchmeat lady from behind the counter really asking me if she could purchase a stuffed ladybug for my daughter? i felt confused. muddled. unsure.

why was she offering?

"you see," she went on to say, "i have $5 in my pocket and i would really like to buy that  for her. it would bring me joy to get that stuffed animal for your little girl. i like to do this from time to time..." she faltered for a second, "it ... it... blesses me."

i was speechless.

i kind of wanted to say no -- just for the fact that  bella was doing her very best to continue her almighty pout and protest over at that rack of stuffed critters. i shouldn't give in. she didn't deserve this nice lady's offer.

not to mention this sweet woman who worked at the deli didn't need to be spending that $5 in her pocket. i wanted to encourage her to save it for her break. buy herself a coffee or a soda or an ice cream. she didn't need to do this for my little girl with a bedroom full of beanie babies ... my little girl who from the level of her pout clearly hadn't been told "no" enough.

but phyllis looked me right in the eyes and said, "please. would you please allow me? it would bring me joy."

and looking into the eyes of this woman, there was nothing i could say except --- "yes."

" yes, that is very kind of you. yes, you don't have to do this for her, but yes, we accept your gift. it is very sweet. very generous."

i stumbled over my words.

i was overwhelmed with her kindness.

i was awkward in my gratitude.

i did my best to make sure bella knew that this lady that we didn't even really know was doing something exceptionally nice for her. and we hadn't even ordered one slice of lunchmeat!

i'm sure i asked bella to say thank you to miss phyllis no less than 15 times.

i just didn't know how to graciously accept this unexpected, undeserved, unmerited gift.

because sometimes we don't.

we just don't know how to accept something which is freely given.

kind of like with Christ.

He has this amazing gift of grace for us ... eternal life, in fact ...and we dance around awkwardly thinking, "i don't need it ... everything's pretty okay here ... i can purchase it myself ... i don't need any help ... i don't deserve it ... why me? ... nothing is for free ... what's the catch?"

that's kind of how we feel about God's gifts sometimes, isn't it? because grace is exactly that -- unexpected. undeserved and absolutely 100% unmerited.

that's what makes it grace! beautiful catch-me-off-guard-at-the-deli-counter-grace!

"for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  ~ romans 6:23

"for by grace you have been saved through faith. and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God."  ~ ephesians 2:8

pretty amazing, huh?

so, i just had to share this story tonight.

nothing better than meeting a new friend at the meat counter ...

nothing better than being reminded of beanie babies ... free gifts ... and grace.

THAT woman

i don't want to be THAT woman.

you know the one: the lady who is always too busy to talk. the gal who is in a rush and running out the door. the neighbor who is known only by the tail lights of her departing SUV. the friend always on her way some where ... to some place ... to some thing ... with some one.

i don't want to be known as the woman who breezes in and breezes out all the time.

but that's what i feel like lately -- a lot.

a woman with her hair on fire. that's me.

last week i attended a coffee in a neighbor's home where i am pretty sure, in under ten minutes, i let every other woman present know i had somewhere else i had to be. we were supposed to run from the meet and greet coffee to a meet and greet kindergarten class play date for bella.

both were scheduled from 10-12 am.  that's do-able, right?

in my world, i seem to think it is.

but i'm struggling in my world lately -- a lot.

i don't want to be the mom who can't seem to string together three cohesive sentences because she has a child interrupting or another engagement pending or some ridiculous fire in need of extinguishing.

i certainly don't want to be guilty of half-listening because my mind is jumping ahead to the thing i have to do next. ouch! i type that sentence knowing full-well it happens.

there i was last friday morning, meeting with these delightful new ladies and what i wanted most was to go find a corner, sit down and talk more, hear their stories, tell them mine. i wanted to connect! but instead i was stuffing a muffin into my mouth, gulping coffee and wrangling in bella from the pool (yes, the pool).  all the while i was nodding my head and trying my best to bond a little with these nice, new neighbors.

because a woman can do some bang up bonding when she's in the midst of stuffing, gulping and wrangling, right?

wrong!

as we were leaving (early), my sweet friend, colleen, who hosted the coffee, walked me to the door. i was sweating profusely trying to get bella out of her swimsuit, back into her shoes and out the door -- all the while balancing her plate of goodies, a wet towel and my bag. as we headed down the front walk, colleen called after me, "i'm so glad you were able to fit this into your busy morning!"

she didn't say it sarcastically. colleen, one of the most genuinely kind ladies i know, doesn't have a sarcastic bone in her body. but i walked to my car thinking ... "fit this in ... fit. this. in ..."  yuck! i don't want to be the lady who fits people in. i don't want to be THAT woman.

except that sometimes, i am.

the fact is though, as much as that idea leaves an unpleasant taste, i'm sitting here a few days later not entirely sure what to do about it.

should i say no?

i promise you -- we say no. we decline to the point of being rude. sometimes that's the answer, but not always.

i have a hunch that it has something to do with five kids. it has something to do especially with having five kids all still at home -- all with school and activities and schedules. we've really enjoyed this summer, but i have to tell you, we've never been stretched in so many different directions. recently, i described our family to a friend as seven ships passing in the night. i am not sure that's a very flattering or healthy description, but it is accurate. and good golly, someone remind me, isn't this summer?

i know this season of life is the busy run just before the imminent slow empty of our nest ... but most days it leaves me feeling a little scattered ... a bit scarce ... a tad frantic, in fact. i physically long for the slow and simple. i have been known to crawl under the covers of my bed at 4:00 in the afternoon and shout, "let's pretend mommy's not here for a while!" that works for about five minutes. instead i have high schoolers gulping smoothies at 7:30 am on their way out the door to varsity practices ... middle schoolers racing off on bikes to meet up with friends ... and even a kindergartner last friday morning with two places to be.

i am THAT WOMAN driving down the street in the middle of a summer afternoon who realizes that one of her children was supposed to be at a birthday party two hours earlier. yep ...

i believe this is the time when women like me crack up and move out to the country ...
or begin homeschooling everyone ... (not that that sounds like a solution)!
or start exercising for hours every day...

just between you and me, i would probably be more prone to over-eat or over-shop before i would ever (like, in-a-million-years-ever) over-exercise (or homeschool).  you understand, right? ...

i am fully aware this has something to do with control.

or should i write, lack of control.

i can't control the number of things we have to do or the places we have to be. and it's kind of driving me crazy. i used to be able to do that when they were little. pick and choose. i can remember not telling my little people about a play date or a birthday party or a park opportunity, simply because i knew it would be too much for our family (for me) to say yes. simply because i could. because i held the cards. i called the shots. i was the one in control of the master family schedule.

these days ... well, it just doesn't work quite that same way.

i'm not a flimsy parent. i have no problem saying "no" to my kids. they would probably even tell you i say it a lot. we do have some pretty good boundaries in place. but still ...

the mcnatts are living life at full throttle.

and that's not really a bad thing. we should live life with gusto ... live life with great zest! hooray for life! i get that. i want that. Lord, help us all the day this woman feels slightly bored. but i believe in all this craziness, there's got to be some line of balance. i want my kids to have enough to do, just not too much. i want the same for my husband and the same for me.

enough to do, but not too much to do. i'll be honest that line feels rather thin lately. one mis-step and we find ourselves fallen into either idleness or insanity.

oh dear Jesus, i want that elusive, imponderable, catch-the-butterfly-kind-of balance!

the proverbs 31 girl seems to be a woman always held in high esteem. so let's talk about her for a minute.

would she understand my dilemma? did she have balance? did she feel the same stress when walking the line between "eating the bread of idleness" and "planting her vineyard?"

i really want to know!

in proverbs it says: "her children rise up and call her blessed;  her husband also praises her..." 

so, i'm thinking this woman without a name who dresses her family all in scarlet and still finds time to laugh, plant vineyards, and shop in faraway places has figured out how to be busy enough, but not too busy.

so, what's her secret?

i just spent a little time in this passage today and i pulled out all the verbs which describe her. (fascinating former english teacher stuff -- i know).

SHE: seeks, works, brings, rises, provides,
considers, plants, dresses, makes, perceives,
puts, opens, reaches, clothes, sells, delivers,
laughs, teaches, surpasses, looks.

whew!

okay, seriously, is it just me or is anyone else completely exhausted reading that list???

she does all of that? really? without a high efficiency washing machine or a microwave or even a mini-van?

vineyard in santa barbara -- didn't plant it,
but did have a lovely glass of wine!

maybe there was a proverbs 32 woman working quietly behind her: an assistant, an apprentice, an adjunct ... at the very least an ally!  i think i might be on to something here friends. there's just no way this esteemed woman could do all of this completely on her own, right?  i mean i'd plant that vineyard and consider myself done for the day ... maybe done for the year! i am just so utterly impressed and in awe of this gal's energy!

... and so very thankful she is not my immediate neighbor.

she's making her own clothes and the clothes of her kiddos and i can barely make it to the gap for a sale. what's going on here people? how is she doing it?

but, you know what? i love her. really, i do. i have connected with this passage since my teenage years, knowing that she was a fabulous role model. but i if i was being honest here, (and i do try to be honest most of the time), i also want to sit down and pick her brain a bit. i'd like y'all to know right now, that come heaven-time, i will be blowing right by peter and gabriel and on the hunt for the proverbs 31 woman.  i have a few questions for this proverbially wonder woman. like: how did she do all of that stuff ... all of those VERBS ... and still find time to work the ny times crossword puzzle on saturday mornings with her husband or dangle her feet in the lake with her little ones or enjoy a leisurely walk in the park without a list of stuff rattling around in her head. exhausted women want to know!

here's my big question: how did she do all of that AND still manage to be available to those around her?

this passage doesn't mention friends or neighbors.  did she have them? did they know her by the tail lights of her cart or by the backside of her donkey? did they watch her spinning her scarlet clothes or on her way out to her vineyard and say to themselves, "well, there goes, that always-busy-and-productive-proverbs-31-mama --- who does she think she is anyway?"

this chapter in proverbs doesn't say much about her relationships outside her family, but somehow, i think she found time to visit with other women and encourage them along the way. "she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." i don't think she spent a lot of time on facebook or hanging out in the cul-de-sac gossiping. but i do think she had wise words and kind gestures readily available for those in her circle.

i am pretty sure she delivered a casserole or two in her time.

i'm kind of poking fun at her today. but you know, the truth is, i want to be a woman whose children (and husband) rise up and call her blessed. i want to be a woman known for her wisdom and kindness. and i want to be a woman who strikes the right balance for her family ... and even for her friends.

i do want to be THAT woman, i absolutely want to be THE woman God designed me to be.

sometimes it's hard to figure out who she is, what she looks like, and how in the world she's ever going to get it all done!

but God knows.  He designed each one of us in an unique and purposeful way. and on those days when i can't seem to control the pace or the plan, i need to remember:
God does have a plan and only He can put pEace in the pace.

"for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ jeremiah 29:11

"LORD, you establish peace for us; 
all that we have accomplished you have done for us." ~ Isaiah 26:12

preschool to prom

i mentioned in my last post that we've been a little busy this month with activities ranging from a preschool graduation to a high school prom.  and that was no exaggeration.  i can pretend it's all really hard...or i can tell you the truth -- it's all really good. sure it might be challenging at times to switch gears from polka dotted preschool dresses to elegant prom night apparel.  but it is also a lot of fun.  i love that God has given me such a stretch.  i don't know if i'd go so far as to say it keeps me young...but it certainly keeps me on my knees. it keeps things in perspective.  and most of all,  it keeps me grateful.

and let me tell you, a good bit of gratitude and a healthy dose of perspective is greatly needed when your daughter starts talking prom -- or "formal" as emily's school calls it.  it is easy to get swept away with all the hoop-a-la of hair and makeup and jewelry and shoes and the dress -- oh the dress!  this dress she is wearing required us to stand in line at a store in the mall for almost an hour waiting for a changing room.  i kid you not.  apparently the weekend we went shopping was open season on prom dresses. and every 17 and 18 year old girl in minnesota was out hunting.  i have never, and i mean never, waited an hour for a dressing room for anything.  but what's a girl (and her mother) supposed to do when (because of a busy volleyball tournament schedule) they have exactly one weekend to figure it all out?  we spent an entire saturday going from place to place.  keep in mind we are new in town.  we didn't exactly know the best places to find formal dresses.  i was doing everything in my power to avoid the awful mall of america.  but at the end of the day, that's exactly where we were.

last october i posted a piece about my first trip to the mall of america. and you might remember though it ended with a great moment, it wasn't exactly the most stellar mall experience starting out. the mall of america and the mcnatt family does not have a terrific track record. (mall of america post).

so here we were in this insane mall with a gagillion other girls clawing and clamoring for the perfect prom dress.  girls with their girlfriends and girls with their boyfriends and girls dragging dazed and desperate looking mothers behind them.  we waited an hour in line to try on this dress and thankfully (i mean THANKFULLY) em and i both agreed it was "the one."  when your 17 year old daughter says yes to the dress (especially after waiting an hour for it) the heavens open wide, angelic voices sing in jubilation and the light suddenly shines softer -- at least for mother.  all we needed was a starbucks to refuel and we were out of there!  em started to doubt her choice and i cut her off quickly, "no. no. no. it's lovely.  it's perfect. we're done. get in the car. let's go!" i felt my foot leaning hard into the gas pedal as we flew out of the monster of america's parking garage.

now all we had left to figure out was her hairstyle and makeup and nails and shoes and jewelry and clutch and boutineer....

okay, so that was the prom dress.  the dress bella is wearing i happened to pick up at nordstrom rack on sale while i was making a return. i saw it.  i grabbed it.  and i was gone in less than 5 minutes.  there was no deliberation. there was no big decision. there was no hour wait for a dressing room.  there was nothing but a polka dotted dress in a bag and a satisfied and calm customer.

see what i mean about perspective?

i think both girls looked lovely.  i wouldn't trade the preschool thing and i wouldn't trade the prom thing.  i am thankful i get to do both.  and as much as i might loathe the mall of america, i wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else than by emily's side while she was trying on dresses. sometimes i think about that.  i think about when i was diagnosed with cancer and i had those hard nights of not knowing how serious it was.  i remember the incredible fear while wondering if i might miss these kinds of moments. that kind of fear changes you. i am not saying i embrace every big and little thing perfectly now, but i am at least more aware of how fleeting time is...how fleeting life can be -- how precious. and truly, we don't need cancer to spell it out.  i look at my oldest daughter and i can't believe how quickly she went from her preschool years to her prom date.  she looks too grown up, doesn't she?  it's what happens. people warned me of this way back when.  but you don't really believe it until it's your daughter or your son.  your child standing taller and more elegant than you ever were at that same age.  and it's one more reminder to grab hold of life right where we are.  in the sweetness of preschool or the drama of prom-a...it's all good. it's all a gift.

and whether our girls wear patent leather mary janes or gold, high heeled sandals, it's a parents' privilege to walk right alongside them.  to sometimes hold their dresses, to sometimes hold their hands, and always, to love them through the small and big steps of their journey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

those two events also kept my camera busy.  i'm including a few photos.  we had the pre-formal pictures for eight couples (and their parents) in our yard...also did the preschool photo shoot there with bella. same setting, different day. i deliberately alternated the pictures below...because that's exactly how i feel most days!

emily and some of her guy friends -- before the other girls arrived!

our bella mouse!

em and her date, kevin. clearly having some fun!

the whole gang!

pleased as punch!

em and her good friend, camille -- beautiful!

bella insisted on including minne in some of her pictures.

these girls didn't seem quite so interested in including minne!