the push (a letter to myself).

most mothers don’t encourage their children to push -- but, i do.

i tell my kids all the time to push themselves: to push themselves in their studies; to push themselves out on the field or court; to push themselves in helping around the house; i've even had to tell them to push down on the gas pedal (ever pull out into traffic with a teen learning to drive? -- heaven help us all!) mostly, though, i encourage my crew to push themselves out of their comfort zones.

i tell them that. but what about me?

what do i tell me about my nice little comfort zone?

it’s easy for us mamas who are always talking and forever teaching, and even cheering our kiddos on, to forget this message is meant just as much for us.

for us: for those of us wearing jeans with peanut butter smudges across the backside. for those of us 17 weeks overdue for a highlight. for those of us who break nails scraping rice krispies from bowls and old gum from inside the dryer. for those of us who, while standing in line at target, realize we’re wearing two different shoes (yes, it’s happened), for those of us who are at target because our pre-schooler forgot to put on her panties (yes, that’s happened too -- but not on the same day, thankfully. Lord have mercy.

but we women, we need to push a little too.

and, girls, i’m not talking about the vacuum cleaner!

i’m not even talking about pushing it on the power walk or pushing young ones in strollers or toddlers on swings.

i’m writing today about the place deep inside each one of us where we know there’s this little seed ready to get going, ready to grow.

but if you’re at all like me (and i know a lot of you are!) it’s easy to forget about that seed. it’s easy to leave it alone. it’s easy even to pretend it doesn’t exist.

seed? what seed?

instead of pushing ourselves, it’s easier to push that seed back in the soil of our busyness or our burned-out-kind-of-days. it’s just easier somedays to bury it deep inside our mama-blah brain.

i know. i do it. guilty hand raised here in minnesota, ladies! i am a woman who can often look the other way when a dream or a thought or an idea comes waltzing along.

“i’m busssyyyy,” i whine.

“i’m tiiireed,” i whimper.

because let’s face it, when the seed is given a glance; when it’s watered and fed, it can all of a sudden become this big, gangly, out-of-control kind of thing. we have no place for something so large to be looming up inside us. there’s no room for anything extra. we’ve got our plates full and our hands fuller, and for a lot of us, the last thing we want is one more bless-ed thing to take care of. and in case He forgot, i remind Him: good gracious, Lord, i'm raising five children right now, don't you know? don't you see me running like a woman with her hair all on fire?

we don't have time to be called. and if we find a few minutes in the evening, we are flat out of energy.

i know. i’ve been there too. i’ve wasted some good time at night on the couch with reality television droning on the screen and a bag of doritos waning in my lap. i’ve even tried to convince myself that i’ve earned it. and maybe i have on occasion, but not all the time. not often. nope, sorry, you can't convince me of that one. it's about the push.

now, i’m going to stop right here for a moment and make sure we are still all on the same page. just in case one of you has wandered a bit ...  (we women, we are prone to wander)!

hear me girls: I AM IN NO WAY undermining or belittling or bemoaning motherhood. from the time i was two it was all i wanted to do ... to be ... to become. and it still is. after five kids, i can honestly say, it’s been my favorite season, my biggest blessing, my sweetest place. i flat out adore the wild-riot of it. and there’s not a day that goes by where i don’t give thanks for the chance to be home right now with my brood...even when they wipe their peanut butter on my backside or use my pricey salon shampoo for a science experiment. (yep, uh-huh, happened).

but...

i still think we’ve got some other good stuff inside of us. i don’t think the-great-mommy-hood has to trump all other places of productivity. it is an amazing part of God's plan, but it is not our only purpose. i know some of you handle careers and run companies and chair incredible events and lead 14 different bible studies ... and some of you do it eating all organically and wearing snazzy high heels. and maybe i’m not writing to you ... or maybe i am. maybe it’s your career or your calling that’s taken the place of the real dream ... stepped over that seed ... ignored the idea. maybe for you it’s not about doing one thing more, but about doing one thing less. i don’t know. either way, i am always in awe of women who juggle jobs and juice cups and just about everything. simply in awe.

so what am i suggesting?

i’m not entirely sure ...
oooh, i wince as i type that. face scrunched, teeth clenched, head bowed and shoulders up tight at my ears. i can feel your disappointment seeping out of my laptop even now as i pound out those words. i know you want an answer. i know you'd like a really helpful "how to." come on jody lynn, can't you please come up with something better than that?

but  here’s the deal girl: i’m not entirely sure what your seed is or how it’s best to be fed. i don’t want to pretend that i know your stuff. your stuff is your stuff. my stuff is my stuff.

but here’s what i do know:

YOU’VE GOT A SEED!

each one of you has a unique gift and talent from God. he’s called you to something special. he may have called you to children and, believe me, that is both a gift and a talent, and it takes a whole lot of special. Amen? but maybe in the middle of all that, there’s also something else that’s waiting to be watered. waiting to be dug up and carefully considered.

i’m not telling you how. i’m just encouraging you to dig around a little... and consider.

hear me again girls, this post isn't about pressure. it's about the push to keep digging for God's holy purpose. He will use us right where we are. i am only submitting to you today, that God wants to use you -- all of you.

i’m giving you (and mostly me) the same lecture i give my kids: YOU CAN DO IT. you have something special. go ahead and push yourself. push through the pain. push through the problems. push through the places of maybe too much comfort ... and climb closer to Him.

“press on toward the goal for the prize 
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
~ philippians 3:14

a little note:
i wrote this post on the plane this morning while flying to the She Speaks conference in charlotte. i'm here now and just wrapped up day one. it's been fantastic so far. 
so, guess what analogy the kick-off speaker (sharon glasgow) used in the opening session earlier today (after i wrote this post on the plane)?  pushing the gas pedal down and beginning to go! 

perhaps more on that tomorrow!  God has such a sense of timing...and humor!

when we reach for the moon

"mama, i see the moon!" she says tugging hard at my hand.
"oh yes, bella,  i see the moon too."  i answer.
"it so big," she continues.
"very big," i reply.
"big like bella?" she asks, already so sure.
i chuckle. "maybe."
"i reach it."  determined arms outstretched and confident and high in air.
"of course," i say.  "yes, bella, i believe you might.  yes, you just might." and everything in me smiles.


i won't tell her she can't.  because who really knows. and this is a girl who reaches things. in this year that we've had bella,  i have watched her grab hold of things i wouldn't have guessed possible.  not much stops this little gal.  and little she is. so wee, you can't hardly believe it. 
but stand next to her and you'll see. her size doesn't even register on the standard growth charts at the pediatrician's office.  it doesn't matter though.  not one bit.  because like with the moon, things aren't always the size which they seem.  bella's big personality, enormous smile and resourceful spirit more than make up for her petite frame.

when those things don't quite cut it, she drags around the beaten up, green kitchen stool.  she can't pick it up quite yet, but she can push it most anywhere it needs to go.  pantry. sink. counter. table. desk.  i've even watched her move it into the bathroom.  sometimes she asks for my help.  but mostly she doesn't.  "i can do it!" she announces emphatically to all.  and, usually, she can. and does.


another one of bella's tricks is moving pillows.  when she can't reach a light switch or the TV power button or something up on a chest of drawers, i've watched little miss take throw pillows and pile them high.  i sat amazed, like a brand new mother, the first time she did this in front of me.  she took the pillows one by one and then climbed up onto the stack until her mission was accomplished.  a grin spread across her face.  i didn't have to show her how to do that.  i wouldn't have thought of it.  she just figured it out.  and when the green stool is not handy, she  resorts to pillows.  bella cannot move big, bulky furniture, but she can move pillows and so she does.


i am thinking this quality is going to come in kind of handy later in life.  i love that bella isn't one bit aware of her tiny-ness.  she thinks she can reach the pencils, the milk jug and the moon!   i want to be a little more like that.  i want a dose of this girl's determination.  i want an injection of her ingenuity.  i, somedays, downright need it.  motherhood has a way of squashing you at times.   there's a lot i want to do in my day...many goals and ideas and milestones i want to reach.  except that life (or a kid or the cat or a catastrophe) get in the way and those goals blur a bit.  sometimes i get to the end of a day and wonder what in the world i even did that day.  i look around and see a myriad of half finished things trailing behind me at bedtime.  i am inclined to slam my bedroom door shut and crawl under the covers pretending these incomplete items belong to another woman.  i don't know how they got here.  and i certainly don't know how they'll ever get done -- that's for sure.  but then i look at my little girl.  34 inches and reaching things. step stool mover and throw pillow mover and mountain mover, this girl.  she inspires me. 


"reach for the moon.  even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."  ~ les brown


i fell in love with the author, louisa may alcott, many years ago.  it was christmas time, i'm not sure which year, but i was young and i read...no, that is not quite right,  i inhaled, her book, little women.  it took me to a place far away and i have always been crazy about far away places.  i scribbled on a piece of paper a quote from the flyleaf of that book and it has stayed with me. i have carried it with me all these years -- sometimes in journal, sometimes in bible, sometimes in my wallet.  at some point in college, the paper started to tear and i had to rewrite it, but i still carry that quote.

"far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.  

i may not reach them, but i can look up and see their beauty, 

believe in them, and try to follow where they lead."  ~ louisa may alcott

it is a good thing to carry quotes in your pocket.  this week my 6th grader, sarah, will begin reading little women in her class.  i seriously might have to fight off the urge to sneak into the back of the classroom and listen.  regardless, i'll copy this quote for her. i think i'll copy it for all my daughters to carry.
   
in moonlight or in sunshine or in our stormy kitchens, it makes no difference, we can carry and we can reach and we can dream.