Thursday, July 1, 2010

right up to the moon -- and back

dear bella ~

we are on our way.  

today was the day for which we have waited...prayed...hoped and dreamed.   

today we received official travel approval. we are cleared. we are coming.  

july 16th we will leave atlanta georgia and july 19th we will hold you in our arms.  i can't believe we finally have a day. a date. a plan. but we do, oh bella, we do!

july 19th - our gotcha day - is the day for which we now long. it will be a day which will forever hold deep significance for the mcnatt family. we won't ever again hear that date mentioned without attaching it to YOU.  

it is your day. it is our day. it is the day. after all this waiting. we are coming little one.

we found you july 7th, one year ago. God has in His most amazing way orchestrated every detail about this journey and He is faithfully bringing us together. finally.  finally together. we are thrilled. amazed. petrified. humbled.  we are thankful!
i came home tonight from a trip out of town and i walked into the room which is also waiting for you.  i sat on the bed which soon will be yours and i looked around your pretty little room. looked at your things --ready and waiting. it's almost overwhelming to think you'll be dancing around in there soon. 

oh, bella,  we are so close.  i can picture your head on the pillow.  your arms around the stuffed cow. your hand upon your daddy's neck. your head upon his shoulder. your hand in mine. we are so close. we are coming little one.

this year we have learned to wait. and it hasn't been easy ... or very pretty. we have not always waited well. at times i have looked at the piles of paperwork and sighed heavily. we have printed copies and signed at X's and posted packages with a deep sense of urgency. i have woken in the middle of the night paniced something was done incorrectly or incompletely or missed entirely. i have even layed my head on the table and wept.  

your brothers and sisters have asked repeatedly,  "when are we going to get her? when is is going to happen? are we there yet?" like antsy children on a long car ride. it has indeed, at times, felt like a long ride. but we have never once doubted the beautiful destination. at the end of this journey was YOU. little you. our sweet bella.   

we are coming little one.

every time i imagine your tiny self in the orphanage,  i imagine Jesus right there with you...holding you. i am not sure i have adequate words to describe what loving a child across oceans feels like. only that it has given me the immeasurable gift of knowing my dependence on the power of God's great holding. i am more certain of it than ever before. He holds you in His hand. He holds even the oceans between us in His hand. they are nothing for Him -- mere drops of water. He holds all. the whole world. as a child i sang, "He has the whole world in His hands, He has the whole wide world in His hands...."  today, i understand these words. we will someday sing this song together. little one, we are coming.

there is this book called guess how much i love you.  i am certain i have read it over a gazillion times to your brothers and sisters when they were small. Little Nutbrown Hare tells Big Nutbrown Hare how much he loves him.  he tells him in his own small and unfathomable terms.   "'i love you right up to the MOON,' he said, and closed his eyes.  'Oh, that's far,' said Big Nutbrown Hare.  'That is very far'...Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, 'I love you right up to the moon -- and back.'"  bella, we love you right up to the moon -- and back.  and soon, very soon, we will whisper those words in your tiny ear. i am leaving this book by your bed.  it will be there when you come home and we will read it a gazillion more times.  together.  

we are coming little one. we are coming.

love ~ your mom

1 comment:

Sheri said...

Congratulations!!! Blessings to you and your family as you journey to China and your child.
Sheri in Galveston