Saturday, July 17, 2010

flying across the world and singing hallelujah

tonight we are flying halfway across the world in pursuit of our daughter. we are hot on the trail of a little girl in a big orphanage in even a bigger country, foreign and far. and we are officially on our way - right now we seem to be somewhere between georgia and california. we fly into the sunset…i am watching it from my tiny window. it is pink and it is golden and it is promising. i cannot keep the tears from my eyes as i drink in the beautiful magnificence outside this sliver of an opening. we are flying into the night and there is so much promise. though this year has not always been washed in a golden pink haze, we have clung to the promise we claimed last summer. some days we marched strongly to the beat of great hope. and some days all we could do was cling. tonight we sit here amazed that all those some days have added up to This Day. to the day we fly full speed into the sunset and full throttle toward our tiny girl. rick and i are more confident than ever that we are headed in the right direction. we have sensed God’s hand on this from the beginning…but tonight, we feel His hand holding ours like never before. it is the only reason we can do this. and i would be lying if i didn’t tell you our hearts are pounding, our minds are racing and we have butterflies in every inch of our bodies. we don’t know what these next two weeks will hold…but isn’t that the beauty of living? can the unknown be both terrifying and wonderful? absolutely! if we’ve learned nothing else from this year, we have learned this. last week on the way home from the beach i had a chance to speak with the kids about what all this could look like as we bring home bella. we tackled some pretty tough stuff…i didn’t want to scare the kids, but i wanted to prepare them for some of the things that might be challenging in the next few months. in that conversation our oldest, emily, said she just felt bad for people who didn’t have the chance to do something like this. in her 14 year old way she said she couldn’t imagine not having something in life which “you had to trust God greatly for.” it was a really cool comment coming from her. we don’t mean that in a self righteous or prideful way…but it is true…we are meant for big things. we are all designed to take chances …to take risks…to fly into sunsets in pursuit of something. not all of us are called to adopt, but all of us are called to something. if there is one thing i hope my writing has encouraged It is that. pursue something. pursue it hard. pursue it faithfully. pursue it tenaciously. pursue it crazily. pursue it passionately. pursue something. go ahead and let God lead you into the sunset. i promise you it won’t always be golden and pink…and it won’t always be easy…but if our Great God is in it, it will always be good. if i had to pick a favorite song…like my very favorite song ever…it would be amazing grace. and if in that song i had to pick a favorite line…like my very favorite line ever…it would be, “the Lord has promised good to me.” He has! i don’t mean He has promised ease or comfort or everlasting sweetness…no, He has promised Good. His good. not my good. His good. His wonderful, beautiful, extraordinary good.

after approximately 24 hours of traveling we will land in china. we will have crossed a continent and an ocean. we have packed up suitcases and dreams and much hope in order to get here. we bid our four other children goodbye in the driveway of our safe and comfortable home for two weeks. oh, that was hard - bittersweet beyond belief. i didn’t want to let them go. how we treasure those four kids. i tried to be strong for them. i failed miserably. but we know they are in an amazing community of care. we are blown away by the number of people caring for our brood and loving them well. i am so humbled even thinking about it all. but in 24 hours we will step foot into china. we will meet this little girl for whom we have prayed, for whom we have longed. we will meet this little girl who was literally laid on our hearts last summer. we don’t know what it will look like. writing just now, i was listening to my ipod and bethany dillion’s song “hallelujah” just played. another one of my very favorites. if you get a chance listen to it. (bethany dillon’s “hallelujah” acoustic session). i would add it to my playlist, but for some crazy reason the playlist service for blog doesn’t recognize it. anyway, here are some of the lyrics:

hallelujah, hallelujah
whatever’s in front of me,
help me to sing hallelujah.
the same sun rises over castles and welcomes that day
spills over buildings to the streets where orphans play
and only you can see the good in broken things
you took my heart of stone and made it whole
set this prisoner free.
whatever’s in front of me
help me to sing hallelujah.

we really don’t know what is in front of us. we really don’t. but, we know Who Goes Before Us…and in that knowledge we fly into a golden sunset (actually in the time I’ve been writing the sun has completely set). so, no matter, we fly into a dark sky and we sing hallelujah.


Tiffany said...

Sweet post Jody. So hard to leave those "babies" at home and travel so very far matter what age they might be. :)
Praying for ALL of you.

myfourgems said...

okay, tears are dropping before i even get to the end of the post and then you have to end with those pics...i am just overcome with emotion for you all right now...did you know hundreds of hearts that love you and your family so dearly snuck into your suitcases and are traveling along with you?- no wonder you had so much luggage! so much love and prayers for you, each and every day of this 2 week journey and beyond. thanks for keeping us posted. love shel

myfourgems said...

by the "i spy" a new, adorable, apple green, little picnic table by the driveway? love it! :)

jodymcnatt said...

shel ~ i love your comment. so sweet...yes! i have all of you in my luggage...i'd so happily have done without the clothes and accessories if they would have let me trade in bringing my friends! but..the truth is i know you are here. all of you. we feel like we are floating in the sea of your support and in the arms of your prayers. what a precious gift God has given us in all of you.
apple green picnic table...was once a battle scarred peeling yellow table...purchased many years ago. s.e. (her mother's daugther) decided to give it a facelift for bella about a month ago. love that girl.

Marki said...

Jodi, I am so excited for you... Your travel brings back such good memories for me, 9 years ago this week, we were in China. (gotcha day = July 15th for our Annie) I know 2 weeks is a long time, but that time in China will be so sweet and you will treasure it forever. I am praying for you all. Love, Marki