july 16th ~ it's perfect

we have this little joke in our house which includes sarah elizabeth.  one morning, when she was three, i handed her a waffle for breakfast. "it's perfect!" she exclaimed.  "and i like perfect."   we laughed.  sarah elizabeth has always liked things "just so."  takes after someone else i believe.  anyway, we repeat that phrase every now and then.  "it's perfect and i like perfect."   


i had written, long ago, in a post that mid july would be the perfect time for us to travel to china.  it is (embarrassingly enough) the only time of the year when we don't seem to be running in a million directions.    i had had my heart set on the middle of july for quite a while.  always in my prayers though i made sure to agree with God that this story was about HIS timing, not my own.  i had learned my lesson early on.  i felt it necessary to acknowledge that fact.  it was important He know i was in total agreement with Him - no matter what.  ha!  as if He needed my agreement or acknowledgement.  but i was just being sure.  covering my spiritual bases and all...wanting to assure Him i was a real team player and i was happy to be on His Team.  


God, well, He has always known the timing and the script.   He has over and over again declared, "walk this way."  He doesn't always allow us to see clearly where He is leading. but He must know how weak and scared and overwhelmed we are in this journey.  He, as a tender Father, must know our great need for great encouragement. i really do think that is why He continues to give us these glimpses of his Perfect Plan....of His Sovereignty..of His Timing.  He must know that we are absolutely desperate for this.  so last night, He provided another cool and affirming and encouraging connection. 


late last night i decided to reprint all of bella's medical records.  we needed to drop them off at the pediatrician's this week.  i also had to email her referral file and her surgery update to our cardiologist at sibley heart center.  i sat in my office buried in the papers which we had poured over last july when first deciding to adopt bella.  i hadn't looked at this file in quite some time, however.  it was mostly medical stuff...not my forte - at all.  i do much better with words and pictures and, of course, birds.  anyway i came across the paragraph which described her abandonment.  i have never been able to read this description without tears.  i think i included it in my very first post in this blog a year ago.  anyway, there i was with the paragraph, once again, before me.  i started to read.  i had never before noticed the date on her abandonment.  it read:

      "Zhang Xue Zhu, female, was picked up by common people 
at the second floor of   clinic service Zhongshan Hospital of
 No. 58 in Zhongshan er road on July 16, 2008."

i stopped reading.  july 16th.  she had been abandoned by her parents and left in a hospital hallway on july 16th.  the tears came pouring out.  oh my.  oh my.  friends, we booked our plane tickets this weekend.  do you know the date that we, xue zhu zhang's, new parents leave for china?  yes. july 16th.  we get on a plane heading to china july 16th.  her biological parents left her two years ago on this same date.  we will probably never really know why they made this choice to leave their daughter.  but we know with absolute assurance why her new parents will board a plane that day and reclaim her as daughter.  we know.   


her biological parents walked away from her on july 16th.  i don't, for one minute, believe that was easy. my heart has grieved for that broken man and woman.  grieved.  and friends, i have to tell you,  it hasn't always been easy walking toward bella.  i am being honest here.  i want to encourage you all to jump on the bandwagon and go out and adopt one of these 147 million orphans. i want to.  oh, i want to!  but, i will never paint this as an easy road.  a tremendously blessed road, yes, but not, necessarily, easy. and just for the record, we are picking up a two year old with some serious medical needs...this road, may very well, get a lot harder.   


but let's go back again to me sitting at my desk with these papers in hand.  let's go again to my eyes scanning the paragraph where it stated she was left on july 16th.  how amazing.  how absolutely amazing is God.  i could only sit there and feel washed in His Glory.  rick and the younger two kids came in the room to find me in tears.  i shared my findings with them.  it was sarah elizabeth who, without further thought, blurted out, "but mommy, that is totally a God thing!"    is there any road too hard to take the pleasure from hearing your child make that connection? it's a God thing and it's perfect....and we like perfect!

*** after writing this piece i received a message from a friend telling me to go back and look at the date on the first letter we sent announcing to our friends and family the fact that we were going to pursue a little girl in china.   it was one year ago....guess the date on the letter....yep, july 16th.  go back in my blog to last year.   read the post on july 17th...look at the date of the actual letter.  umm...yeah.  july 16th.  perfect.