we won’t know much about the stage or seriousness until pathology comes back post-surgery. all i know sitting here on this last night of lovely june, is that cancer is back in our midst much too soon. most of you are aware we lost rick’s mom not six months ago to cancer. how is it possible after this past winter of sadness that our summer would bring such a thing? my mother-in-law and my mom -- the last two women in the world who should receive such news. but, just like marilyn, my mom, sandy, is handling this with grace and dignity.
i shouldn’t be surprised, both of these women have always placed themselves and their families in the hands of Jesus.
i'm not surprised at my mom's grace, but i'm saddened she has to go through this kind of grief.
and i'm really not sure why cancer has had to be such a part of our lives. my own daughter questioned that recently. “it’s crazy mom, you, grammie and now grandma …” and all i could do was shake my head in agreement, “i know. i know, it is. crazy.”
it certainly feels crazy and wrong and even god-forsaken. but, friends, no matter what it “feels like” i know it is anything but god-forsaken. God is in this. He is with us. He is FOR us. i cannot offer up a scientific explanation, but i can assure you of the sincere faith the women in our family have. and my own girls get to see that, not just in the lovely haze of good times, but even more so, in the struggles and anxieties of real life -- where it really counts. and though we don’t have all the answers and we certainly wouldn’t choose this path for our loved ones, we trust in Him.
i'm sitting up here tonight on the summer sleeping porch writing, and my dad just poked his head in to say good night. before leaving my room he said, "jod, we don't know what tomorrow brings, but the Lord does. He is in control."
how thankful i am for parents who have this kind of faith.
but even with our trust and faith, i looked around my mom's garden tonight and i couldn’t help but feel heavy. my mom loves tending to her flowers. passionate doesn’t begin to describe my parents when it comes to their perennials! earlier, she and i were walking around the yard and i was listening as my mom pointed out the changes, additions, improvements. she knows every inch of this space: every bloom, every name, every weed ... i love that she enjoys this so fully -- that she enjoys life so fully. and, the simple fact is, i want her to always have this. as her daughter, i just hate what she has to go through tomorrow.
i cannot always wrap my brain around why beautiful things must be put on hold or taken from us. i don't get it and i don't like it. but, like the seasons which these flowers weather here in ohio, there is a time for all of it … as my dad said, "we don't know, but the Lord does."
and somehow ... that's enough on this rain drenched night in ohio up on the summer sleeping porch.
can i ask you to pray for my mom? pray that the surgery would be successful and smooth and that her prognosis will be excellent.… and that she will be back on her feet and enjoying her garden very soon!
(dad, sorry, but you’re just gonna have to handle all the weeding for awhile).
|53 years ago today, they said "i do!"|
|had to include one pic of "princess!"|