Wednesday, October 16, 2013

wisdom {grace words wednesday}

some days i’ve got nothing.

i mean it: nada. zero. zip.

i know i’m the mom and i’m supposed to have all the answers. 
i’m supposed to always know where everyone’s uniform is and if there’s an extra bottle of ketchup in the pantry. 

off the top of my head, i'm supposed to know everyone’s shoe size and dress size and favorite food. 

i’m supposed to know what time we have to be at the game or the meeting or the party or the appointment. 
and how to get there. 
and what to wear. 
and what we were supposed to bring and say and do.

i’m supposed to have this mother-mind that keeps it all clear and clean and tidy--all perfectly under control and right on track. i’m supposed to ...

except, usually i don’t.

i don’t miraculously hold all the details and directions. i don't have eyes in the back of my head, a built-in-clock in my brain or the supernatural ability to discern my child's cry from a mile away.

i know some moms who do -- or at least it seems like they do. 

when a woman can throw out her family’s activity schedule and a well balanced meal plan two weeks in advance, i’ll be honest, it makes me a little uneasy. maybe even intimidated. i find myself staring. like the mouth-hanging-wide-open kind of staring. i think the word is gape or gawk. i quickly become a gawker or a gaper and i have to yank myself back to reality. yank myself back and then go buy myself a snickers bar or a chai tea or something to help me recover from the unnerving display of all that mama-resourcefulness and responsible behavior.

i do my best.

and i’m okay with that. well, usually i am. because here's the deal: i am not sure i’m supposed to be any better at juggling more details ... but i do desire more discernment.  

stocking the freezer with winter soups and comfort food casseroles is a good plan -- a great plan, in fact! but what i really need to squirrel away is more wisdom.

i want it ready to go. 

i want it on the tip of my tongue.

i want to have it all set in a place which makes it easy to whip out when needed. and oh, friend, it is needed. often.
it’s nice to know the location of a clean pair of socks or how many refills are left on the prescription or if it's my turn to drive carpool .... those are important and helpful pieces of information.

but isn’t it more important to be wise?

that’s where i want to improve. wisdom.

i want to know better how to address a sassy teenager or an out of control toddler. how to encourage a defeated daughter or a stressed out son.  how to make time for a boy who needs help with his homework or answer the call of a hurting friend. i want to know how to make dinner while offering advice about boys or college or mean girls or gossip.

i’m not entirely opposed to my kids asking me the whereabouts of their favorite pair of sneakers or if i washed their soccer jersey.  that’s all fine and good. but i really want to be the mom who helps them figure out the big stuff ... the bigger stuff. i’d love to be a mom who can help them make decisions, steer them in the right direction and uncover truth.

because this mom-thing isn’t just about having a well organized schedule at our fingertips. this mom thing isn’t about memorizing shoe sizes or knowing when we are running low on toothpaste. no, this mom thing is about being in tune with the state of our kids’ hearts and minds and relying on Jesus to provide wisdom accordingly.

"she speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." ~ proverbs 31:26

that's the woman i really want to be

instead, somedays, i feel a little more like, "she speaks with impatience, and constant nagging is on her tongue." 


do you know what i mean? anyone else out there struggling with discernment? anyone else out their desiring her words to be a tad more wise and faithful and balanced?

God's word is clear: if we want to be wise, we must ask. let's be honest, we're not really born with it, are we? we must ask. just like king solomon did in 1 chronicles:

 "That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”(okay, seriously, can you even imagine?)
Solomon answered God, “You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?" God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, possessions or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you."

seriously, what would you say if God said to you, "ask for whatever you want me to give you." if i'm honest here, i can think of a few (not so noble) things immediately. but at the end of the day, i know wisdom would be right up there at the top of my list. 

what is it you are asking God for today? 

{grace words: wisdom * discernment * faithful * instruction}

Jesus, would  you give this wordy woman some extra wisdom. help me to pass all thoughts, ideas, responses and words through the filter of you. control my impulses, temper my thoughts, restrain my actions and sift my words. i want to be speak your truth and your grace in all circumstances. bridle ME Jesus, and unleash YOU in all things. a-men!

i hope you are still following along with our october prayer challenge! this morning's word was wisdom! (yes, i planned that)! you can connect with the prayer challenge on my facebook page jody mcnatt - even the sparrow

don't forget to check out my friend, becky crenshaw's, {grace words} post. you'll find her at the word of God and a cup of joe!


Jen said...

I liked this, Jody. I get it. I'm a recovering comparison-addict, spending most of my years gaping and gawking (loved that) at the super-moms around me. We need wisdom to see ourselves as the gift that we are to those around us. So maybe you run to snickers and chai (um, me too!!), and maybe your kids' schedule isn't seared into your frontal lobe, but I bet you're a great listener. A great friend. Artistic. You take time to really *see* things. You take time to be present, in the moment. You love on your kids and guide them toward independence, while staying dependent on the Lord.

You nailed it, with this: "this mom thing is about being in tune with the state of our kids’ hearts and minds and relying on Jesus to provide wisdom accordingly." I love that. It's Spirit-led and that feels free.

This comment is turning into a novel, but because you asked... :) ...I am currently asking the Lord for courage and grace. To be who I am, to step forward in leadership, to be the point person for a small conference I'm hosting here in Eden Prairie in February. It's what I'm meant to do, I'm just slightly terrified, but crazy excited. And I am desperate for wisdom for the process!! Thanks for writing so well and honestly. :) I think we have several mutual friends from Chapel Hill, hope to meet you in person at some point! :)

Paula said...

Definitely wisdom but also patience...lots of it! With a spunky, energetic, fun, strong willed, fiercely independent, full of beans just over two and a half year old, I find myself asking for greater amounts of patience and wisdom daily! Oh, to be two! :-)