so much we don't know

it has been clear to us, right from the very beginning, this road to adoption is going to push us well out of our comfort zone.   i was just this week thinking to myself, "are we really attempting to adopt a little girl on the other side of the world?  a little girl who has a serious heart issue?  a little girl whom we've been told, by more than one person, "isn't a good risk?"  it seems almost impossible.  i mean, i have a hard time even ordering anything online.  i like to go to the store for my purchases.  i like to go and feel the fabric, touch the texture and smell the fragrance.  i rarely trust anything i can't see.   and yet.  and yet God is pulling us along, holding a light to our path.  we can't see very far...we are just doing our best to keep our eyes on His light.  we are doing our best to keep up.  He is moving so quickly in all of this, it seems.


we found out this week, that baby zhang is now in the hospital.  just days after we made the decision to adopt her, she was admitted to a hospital in guangzhou.   apparently, she was in great distress.  we have learned her breathing was labored and her skin was bluish-purple.  this little girl had little chance of continuing on in this condition.  by the time we had gotten the news, she had already had open heart surgery.  we don't hardly know any of the details.  we just know she was very sick and very much in need of this surgery.  we are told they (whoever "they" are) did everything they could for her.  there is so much we don't know.  now we just wait.  we can only wait for an update or information.  we wait and we pray for this little girl.


of course, i am also wondering who is with her.  she is 18 months old this month.  she shouldn't be alone in the hospital.  Lord, surround this baby girl with your angels ... let her not feel alone or abandoned for one minute.  Lord, please.