birthdays

i love celebrating the birthdays of our children.  i love everything about it.  especially the chance to highlight them for the day.  with five kids, it is hard to focus on any one child in the messy day to day.  not that our kids are lacking for anything.  i don't have to assure you, they get plenty of attention, recognition and love.  BUT they also have to fit into the fabric of five.  all too often, i am aware of how we don't listen or stop or celebrate when we are in the hurry of our busy living.  BUT ON THEIR BIRTHDAYS...i have to say, we do a pretty good job of CELEBRATING.  i'll never regret that.  i think we all love everything from the singing over birthday cake and candles to the receiving of gifts and good wishes.

yesterday was a birthday day in our house...and the coolest thing about february 5th is that we have TWO who share that day:  emily and bella, the oldest and youngest --  our two beautiful bookends!  God chose february 5th for both of them to be born.  WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT.  it's special, unique, and a part of me even considers it rather efficient.  (yes, i just wrote that).

yesterday emily turned 17 and bella, 5.  i find both milestones hard to believe.  on the kids' birthdays i like to think about the day they were born.  for the kids, birthdays are about being queen or king for the day... opening up cool gifts...eating some cake...having a special dinner...that kind of thing.  but for us mamas, birthdays mean something more.  we might use this day to stop and remember the unique moments of that day of birth years ago.  these moments would be some of the greatest in my life. with each child, i found the whole birth thing incredible. extraordinary. amazing. completely God-filled. (okay... and i suppose, a tad painful).

but each year on this day,  i am also drawn to thoughts about bella's birth mother.  i am sure this woman, wherever she is in china, thinks about the little girl she gave birth to five years ago. some of you know that bella's biological parents cared for her for about five months. when they did choose to leave her it was out of desperation. they realized bella was very sick and they had no resources to care for their baby girl.  we know this because they attached to her blanket a note of explanation. this note is an absolute treasure and one we will, someday, share with bella. and from this note, i have no doubt, they loved her greatly and only wanted what was best for her.  i'll attach the link of our guide, simon, reading it out loud to us when he found it in her file.


(by the way, in order to listen to a video on my blog...first scroll down to the very bottom of my blog and "pause" the song playlist).

so i can't help but think of bella's parents on this day.  these people who in their note wrote, "we are not willing to see her stay in pain...we had to abandon her...it's hard to tell how painful i (we) are." i am sure these people who grieved over the leaving of their baby girl...these people remember february 5th.  i am sure they wonder about where she is and how she is and who she is. as a mother, i can't imagine not knowing where one of my children is on her birthday.  i just cannot fathom what that might be like. heck, i remember being sad when emily had to go to kindergarten on her birthday.  i wanted her home with me on that special day!  over the years since bella came home, i have so wished that her biological parents could know how well she is doing.  how happy, how healthy, how whole her life is. i wish they could know how much we treasure and love our bella.  and who knows...maybe someday in God's grand design that would be possible.  one never knows.  what i do know, is that God has given us two incredibly special gifts on this same day, february 5th. they may have arrived in different ways...but our love for them is the same -- deep and dear.

 * * * * *

my birthday girls.  
oldest and youngest.  treasured daughters.  divinely designed.  princesses of the one true King.  cherished.  loved.  adored.  chosen.  blessings.

okay...check back tomorrow for a post on bella's ballerina birthday party!  no time to write more today, but i promise to post some pictures from that special day.