In His Hands

Dear friends, 

I know some of you have been waiting anxiously and praying fervently for my biopsy results. Some of you sense and some of you already know we received heavy news on Thursday. Though we had every reason to expect good news, last week's biopsy confirmed these suspicious lesions on my spine and pelvis are, indeed, cancer. Thursday I was handed the brutal diagnosis of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. 

It’s a hard one to explain. It is metastatic because it shares the same cellular makeup as my breast cancer 10 years ago. Even though in my breast cancer I was only stage 1 … I was aggressive in my treatment (bilateral mastectomy) … I was diligent in my oncology appointments … I continued twice as long with my tamoxifen drugs … I was clear in my margins and clear in my lymph nodes … even though my risk of recurrence was less than .3% (yes, point three percent) … even though all of that is true, my breast cancer did, in fact, metastasize and this is where we are today. It is bitter, bitter news. There are no words adequate enough to explain how our family is reeling from what this means.

But let me stop there with that phrase “what this means.” By now we all know what the statistics and numbers and medical journals say this means. We know it and we are processing it best we can. But we also know that none of that factors in when we consider the Power of Jesus. He knows. He holds. He is in charge. And that knowledge is our HOPE above all hope. It is, honestly, our only hope. 

We know there’s a fight ahead of us and we will do everything we can to fight. But the very first thing we will do is cling. Cling to Jesus. Call on the Power of His Name. He is our Refuge and our Hope. He is a Strong Tower. He is a Way Maker. He is a Miracle Worker. He is a Light in the darkness. That is who He is. and that will be exactly what we need in these months ahead. I have proclaimed His name for many years through mostly blessings and through some trials, but what a gift it is today for me to get to continue proclaiming His name. Proclaiming that my God loves me and cares for me and will carry me through whatever these days ahead bring. 

This is not some flimsy bumper sticker theology or a nicely packaged trite answer to make us all feel better. This is Truth. God’s Truth. The only Truth.

We want to be honest with you. We won’t tell you “it’s all okay or everything will work out.” We won’t pretend to be brave and strong and fake-happy. We are sad and we are WEAK. But it is in our very weakness that HE is STRONG. We bring nothing to this next chapter. Nothing. It will be His faithfulness and His strength seeing us through. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9-11.

I’ve been camped out in Isaiah 43 this weekend … I invite you to read through Isaiah with me. It's amazing. 

These are some of the promises I get to hold tightly to —


“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
  they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
 you  will not be burned;
  the flames will not set you ablaze.   

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
    

This is what the Lord says—
 he who made a way through the sea,
 a path through the mighty waters,
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland."

God will make a way even in the wilderness of ugly cancer. God will make a way even when the waters are unbelievably deep and fire is exceedingly hot. He will make a way. We trust Him for that. We pray expectantly for that. We know the waters will be deep and the fires hot, but we also know He will be with us in both.

We are inviting you to join us in our prayers. We have an army around us. We need every one of you to join. Our God is merciful. He has promised GOOD for me. I know that seems impossible in this kind of diagnosis. I know some of you want to shake me and say, “Jody, get real.” Oh trust me, friends, we’ve gotten real. We are real, but that means we trust deeply in the reality of our Creator. The one who hung the stars and the moon and parted the waters and stilled the storm and breathed life into dust and called it good. The one who knows the exact number of hairs on my head and the one who ordained my days before one of them came to be. We trust deeply in Him. He is Real and He is Life.

Lamentations 3:22 promises: “because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.” Oh, yes, dear ones, we feel as if we are being consumed. Sure we do. But He has already begun to show me each day His great love and His great compassion. I will be sharing those moments as we go. I don’t know if this will turn into a caring bridge, I haven’t gotten to that yet. I think I’ll continue to use Facebook along with my blog, but we all know how I am wired: We can all be sure, I will share this journey with those of you willing to walk with us. We would be honored to have you walk with us and maybe, some days, even carry us. 

A few additional items ... 

1. Friends have started a meal train to help us out as we get ourselves together. Here's the link. meal train any questions contact Jen Style 908-307-8002

2. Also, I know so many of you have information, ideas, suggestions, medical input, etc... you'd like to share. We appreciate that very much, but I'd like to ask you to pass them through a small group of friends who will then help synthesize the information for us. Please email marthapcook@gmail.com.

3. This year, Rick and I and some of our kids have been reading through the devotional "New Morning Mercies" by Paul Tripp. It is powerful and full of truth and encouragement. If any of you are looking for something like that we want to steer you in that direction. If we can purchase it for you, please reach out and ask. I'd be so happy to send you a copy. 

Immediate prayer requests:

1.  I have a PET scan Tuesday. We need that to show the cancer hasn’t spread to other organs. 

2.  If the cancer is only in my bones, we will go ahead and have my previously scheduled hysterectomy. Strangely enough, that was already on the calendar for this month. We are moving it up one week so I can begin to heal and then begin cancer treatment. (I can’t be on cancer meds and have surgery because they effect my white blood cells). Since my PET scan in October showed no cancer lighting up, that gives us reason to hope. Pathology (biopsy) doesn’t lie, but imagery can be deceiving. We  are hopeful though that the lesions are only in my bones (spine and pelvis is what we know at this time).

3.  Hysterectomy is tentatively scheduled for this Thursday. (Based on PET results). I know it’s hard to explain why I would subject myself to a hysterectomy at this time. Trust me, we spent all day Friday talking that through with doctors. It is best to get everything out at this point. It would be very difficult once I begin treatment to then deal with ongoing  gynecological issues. 

4.  I will begin a protocol of cancer drugs/injections as soon as possible. Our prayer is that those drugs stop this cancer growth and keep it stopped for as long as possible. Chemo would be the next step. The internet is a freaking disaster, but my doctors have given me assurances that people DO live with this diagnosis.Y'all know I am pretty feisty. I'll fight.

5.  Pain. I have some discomfort in my back. It has become more noticeable this month. It is partly why we went forward with the biopsy. I have a few physical symptoms which have been starting to show up. We know what this cancer in the spine can potentially look like, we are praying against pain.

6.  Mostly, dear ones, I beg you to pray for my family. This is where I will break down and sob. I don’t have to tell you what this has felt like sharing with our kids and family. Pray for Rick. He is the strongest man I know and he has always been my sure and solid protector, but he is just crushed right now. Whenever they are called to mind, I ask you to lift them up. We are so heartbroken. 

I have always loved the story in Mark 2 -- The story where a paralyzed man's friends carry him on his mat to Jesus. They couldn't get past the crowds in the building so they got creative and literally tore the roof off the house where Jesus was preaching and these faithful friends lowered their buddy down to Jesus. Do you have that picture in your mind? So cool, right?  "When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, 'son, your sins are forgiven ... I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.' He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying 'we have never seen anything like this.'" Amen. 

I need you dear friends.  I love you all.  jody 

Last thing, this song. Way Maker I have it on repeat and wanted to share it with you. I invite you to worship with me.