if we’re honest, most of us don’t necessarily get all excited about that verse. i'll admit, i’m a girl who likes to “plan her way.” let me be clear—her own way. i like to have a plan and i like my plan to work. just the way i want it. just the way i imagined it. the way i dreamed it. the way i designed it. like frank sinatra crooned, "i'll do it my way." thank you very much.
and, what’s more, i like to think i know what’s best for me. even though i’ve been proven wrong too many times to count, i still have something stubborn within which just can’t help but think i’ve got it all figured out.
this "large and in charge" mindset is quite a popular notion in today’s world: command your destiny. plot your course. grab life by the throat. go for the gusto. take the wheel in your hands. and, by all means, just do it!
and some of that is good. in fact, some of it sounds really great and inspiring and motivating. personally, i kind of like those bumpersticker-ish sayings. but what happens with those popular words when things fall apart. what happens when we find circumstances actually out of our control. what happens when we get rain on our parade or a devastating diagnosis or heart-breaking bad news. what happens when someone lets us down or lets us go. what happens when things don’t line up and the pieces don’t fall in and the door slams shut on our dreams. what happens when we find ourselves in a global pandemic and celebrations must cease and everything good and fun feels cancelled.
what are we left with then?
what happens when we can’t “just do it?”
the lovely young woman who is going to marry my son in exactly two weeks used that proverbs 16 verse at the top of her “change of plans” announcement. though they had hoped for an august 8th wedding which would include all the people they so dearly love, as july progressed, it became clear they would need to dramatically dial-back their dreams. like many brides across america this year, they had to un-invite over a hundred plus people. had we ever even heard of such a thing before 2020?
the good news is they will get married this august! it will look different with only their wedding party and immediate families in attendance, but i have no doubt it will be a beautiful, not to mention, intimate day. they have postponed their big reception to august 2021 and hope to celebrate with everyone on their one year anniversary.
we couldn’t be more proud of brooke and tyler for making this decision. selfishly, i wished the big wedding could have happened. i am not only a woman who likes a plan, but as most of you know, i also like a big party. i love to gather with friends and family and i was really looking forward to this beautiful event overlooking lake minnetonka. as they were planning their wedding in late spring, we were all hopeful that by august an outdoor wedding could take place. so we went on dreaming and planning and plotting our way … but the Lord, well, He established our steps.
like most of america, we had to change the plan. we had to pivot. we had to postpone. we had put away the dreams we all had for this much prayed for day.
and of course there was some disappointment. that is certainly not unique to brooke and tyler’s situation. people are making sacrifices all over the world. some of them small in scale and some of them absolutely massive and heart breaking. it’s easy to be disappointed and even angry. but, dear ones, Jesus is not a dream crusher. He’s not. not one bit. it might feel like that at times in our lives when our plans to proceed fail or our expectations fall flat. it’s hard to understand that His way is better than our way. everything in our human nature wants to fight this kind of spiritual surrender. it is a constant battle in my own life.
“for my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” - isaiah 55:8
but, is it so inconceivable to think that the One who formed us from earth’s dust and fashioned us fearfully and wonderfully is not fully in control? is it entirely inconceivable to trust that the One who hung the stars and measured the oceans has a better plan for our lives? that the very One who created the whole world and holds the whole world in His hands knows better? even when disappointment takes hold? even when devastation occurs? even when the diagnosis is told? is that so impossible to believe?
some days, yes, it does feel hard to accept. it feels like He isn’t there. like He isn’t listening closely. like He doesn’t care deeply. like our dreams don’t matter really.
but He—the very One who dreamed up the world—He cares for our dreams. He even desires for us to dream. “now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine … to Him be the glory, forever and ever! amen.” ephesians 3:20-21
it's true, our dreams for ourselves are not always His dreams for us.
like how it is with parents and children. you know when that child at a carnival dreams only of pink, cotton candy and a parent says no. it doesn't make one bit of sense to that little guy who only wanted pink, cotton candy.
but like that parent, our Father in heaven wants to give us something more than pink, cotton candy.
when our five were little they would sometimes share their little kid dreams. dreams like a trip to the dollar store or a chocolate ice cream cone after dinner or a late summer night of firefly catching. all good things. all good dreams, but in scale, small. little kid dreams. they didn’t know how to dream bolder. they had yet to learn all that our big and beautiful world could offer. our dreams for perfect events and well-planned days must sometimes seem kind of small to the One who holds the world in His hands. they must seem, in fact, like pink cotton candy wishes. and not that He doesn't care, but that He cares to give us more.
God has so much more.
habbakuk 1:5 “look at the nations and watch — and be utterly amazed. for I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”
He tells us, "look and be utterly amazed!"does that sound like a miserly god who just wants to withhold from His children? God is not a dream-dasher, He is a dream-designer. He wants big things for us. not just good things, but His best things. He knows what we need before we even need it. He knows us. He created us. He sustains us.
interestingly enough, early in the year i had decided to begin reading lysa terkeurst’s book “it’s not supposed to be this way.” seriously, is that not an appropriate book for 2020 or what? lysa writes this:
“no matter how well i follow the rules, do what’s right, and seek to obey God with my whole heart, i can’t control my life. i can’t control God.
it’s hard to type those words.
because i don’t want to control God.
until i do.
when His timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention seems hurtful, and His promises seem doubtful, i get afraid. i get confused. and left alone with those feelings, i can’t help but feel disappointed that God isn’t doing what i assume a good God should do.”
i know it’s hard for us to understand. i promise, i’m right there with you, friend. right there some days wallowing in my disappointment. confused by what is happening. angry at the upheaval. sad for the missed celebrations. frustrated by the failed plans. weary of the what’s-next. wistful for the what-ifs. done with the constant debates. tired of the uncertainty.
early in july, my soon-to-be-daughter-in-law, before deciding to change her wedding plan, posted these words on instagram:
“our mistake is that we want to compare our plan with God’s plan. we want to see them side by side and weigh the pros and cons of each. our best response, however, will always be the same as Mary’s when the angel crashed her wedding plans. “let it be to me according to your word.” luke 1:38 |
| brooke's entire instagram post |
i can’t think of a better plan.
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