fear is a liar

recently i had a rather ugly encounter with a woman at the grocery store. inadvertently, i cut in front of her in line. of course it was an accident. perhaps a lame excuse, but i wasn’t in my normal market and rushing with only two items in hand, i didn’t notice the line queuing up across the main aisle from the self-checkout. and so i stepped up. covid-19 times or not, i would never purposefully cut a line. but, i did. and i was wrong.

and, let me tell you folks, there was a woman waiting in that line who couldn’t wait to tell me how wrong i was. she freaked out. 

i mean it. she started yelling at me to the point where i just had to put down my two items and flee the store. i fled. i’m not sure i’ve ever fled anything in my life. but it was crazy and i felt crazy and she was certainly crazy. 

mostly, i was mortified.

and it was all i could do to hold back the tears. 

i am sure my reaction wasn’t just about this out-of-bounds woman though. it was about every time i walk into any grocery store lately and feel like we are a bunch of masked zombies rushing around grabbing scarce amounts of toilet paper and pasta. i’m sure that had something to do with my distress and a lot to do with her indignation.

that was about two weeks ago. since then, i’ve thought quite a bit about this woman and her angry response and i am pretty sure her wild unleashing of  nasty words on me had less to do with anger and more to do with fear. 

yes, fear.

there’s a lot of that going on right now. especially as novel covid is no longer, well, novel. we are all weary of even the very word and yet still unsure on how best to proceed. summer is upon us and we want to make our plans or carry out our plans or at least send our kids to camp for a few days! 

and it’s not just this woman at that store, but i’ve seen and heard so many who are so militant on social media and out on the streets … even in our own neighborhoods.

so much judging on all things covid—who is wearing their mask, how each state is opening up, what our neighbors are doing or not doing or should be doing or could be doing.

lots of opinions, lots of finger-pointing and i’m sure, a staggering amount of silent-judging.

we go back and forth about which chart or model is accurate and who is right and who is wrong and who is actually lying to us. depending on the bend of your ear, it certainly does sound like someone is lying. maybe everyone is lying about something. some say the media and politicians are spreading false information and some say other special interest groups. 

some say. some say. some say.

i continue to stand somewhere in the swirl of that debate on deception and misinformation. and though i’m not completely sure who is lying, i am absolutely certain that fear is a liar.

and it has been from the very beginning. 

don’t think for one minute the evil one hasn’t played this card well in these past few months. he’s a kid in his wicked kind of candy store and loves nothing more than watching our world collapse. don't think for one minute it is not his absolute delight to see us turn upon each other with vicious words and hateful thoughts.

of course there are times for us to speak up and speak out and speak truth—i am all for that. i'm not talking about those moments, but the moments of judging each other’s opinions and actions—the petty policing and continuous unhelpful bickering—and, dear ones, it is gone off the rails. 

though not an expert in human behavior, i have learned in my 50+ years when someone feels the need to tell others what they are doing wrong, quite often it is a control issue based in fear. if we can control our environment and get everyone on board doing everything we think should be done, than it will all be okay. leave nothing to chance. convince everyone of the right way. and make sure they do it exactly as instructed.

and because there are a zillion opinions out there, this plan is sure to breed insurmountable failure and frustration … and ultimately it will bring fear. 

and fear is a liar.

fear, he is a liar.

i love this song by zach williams. listen, if you get a chance!

“fear, he is a liar

he will take your breath

stop you in your steps

fear, he is a liar.

he will rob your rest

steal your happiness

cast your fear in the fire

‘cause fear, he is a liar." 

zach williams "fear, he is a liar"

and, that’s exactly what is happening here as people freak out on each other, get frustrated, and find some morsel of satisfaction in their finger pointing. there is no rest, no breath, no happiness. there is no peace. 

but it doesn’t have to be that way. our peace doesn’t have to come from our perfectly controlled and well-ordered environment. we can have real peace even when someone cuts the line or comes too close or chooses a different path altogether.

the bottom line is that none of us know and none of us are in control. yes, we can all be responsible and do our part—that goes without saying—but that doesn’t guarantee us anything. and if we base our security in how well everyone else lines up, we are certain to be disappointed … maybe even devastated. 

i suppose the ultimate fear is that we could contract covid and die.

here’s the deal though---there is no solution or special program or secret ingredient to ward off death. no matter how hard we try to prolong it, ultimately, no one escapes. regardless of who we are and what we believe, it is imminent for all of us at some point. 

there. i said it. i said the thing.

and if i truly believed that death was the final chapter, than, yes, i suppose that would cause me to clutch the weak fabric of this world a little more tightly too. if this is it, if this is all we get, then, you betcha, you'll find me holding on tightly too. and maybe i’ll freak out more and shake my fist at anyone not willing to follow along and march (socially distant) in line.

don’t get me wrong, i am not being one bit flippant. just like you, i love my life. i love life. i love living. i hate death. i hate dying. i hate disease.

of course i’m doing all the things i know to do to keep me and my loved ones safe, but … BUT … this is not the final chapter, friends. and i think this is a great time to remember that or, if we aren't sure, to, perhaps, explore the possibility. if we have a relationship with Jesus, we know that there is more ... and all of our eggs don’t have to be held in this one earthly basket. He came that we might have life and have it abundantly and have it eternally. He came and died because He loves us that much.

the WHO or the CDC or POTUS … i’m not sorry to say, are not in control of how this goes. they don’t have the answers. they don’t have the solution. maybe they are doing their best—or maybe not—but either way, they have their human limitations and as much as i respect their work and efforts, i cannot place my trust in them. if that's all the security available, than, yes, that would make me very, very afraid. 

but as a follower of Jesus, that is not His best for me. that is is not what He purposed or planned for my life in covid times or any time … “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 timothy 1:7

God’s got this. He holds our whole world in His hands. there will come a day when this world will collapse … but it will not be because of something random and uncontrollable, it will be in the perfect timing of our perfect and all powerful God.

Jesus said, “peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. not as the world gives do I give to you. let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” john 14:27

and, the good news? the very best news? 
if you know Him, you do not have to live in fear. 

“there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 john 4:18

“i sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” 

psalm 34:4

“when i am afraid, i put my trust in you.”  psalm 56:3

as i wrap up this (already too long) post, i can't help but think of that beautiful old song, "in Christ alone." 

"no guilt in life,
no fear in death,
this is the power of Christ in me.
from life's first cry to final breath, 
Jesus commands my destiny.
no power of hell, no scheme of man,
can ever pluck me from His hand.
till He returns or calls me home
here in the power of Christ i'll stand."