son-flowers

last week i kinda dragged my college boy to a sunflower farm. yes i did.

we were driving home after dropping off the youngest three at summer camp up in the north georgia mountains and--apparently--i had failed to mention my plans to stop on the way home at this field.

when he was two, it would have been easy to sell him on such an adventure: "buddy, the flowers will be taller than you---maybe, taller than daddy! and there will be trucks and bugs and dirt." it would have been simple to persuade him as a curious toddler. but now, about to turn 20, and it took a slightly different approach: "i'll be quick, there might be snacks, you can get an instagram photo."

he came along. somewhat willingly, in fact. bottom line, my boy knows his mama and he knew there wasn't a whole lot he could say or do to get himself out of this.

and it was sweet. i asked him to cut me a bunch of the flowers and he did so---albeit with his pocket knife. we had a good time choosing the best blooms and dodging the biggest bumble bees. like i said, it was sweet.

i had my boy all to myself for this brief time in a georgia sunflower field on a summer day. i know these moments are all too few. i know, as the mother of a young man, i must share him with other things ... other people ... other passions. every mother knows this and so we take the moments given and we make them just as good as we can.

back home, editing through my pictures, i came across this one of him smiling and, at first glance, thought "aww, how sweet! he's so happy to be out exploring a sunflower field with his mama." 

but taking a closer look, i noticed in his hand was his cell phone. and after further scrutiny, the realization became clear: that smile wasn't because he was out adventuring with me, but because he was chatting on his phone with his girlfriend.

yep, it's true: that smile was for her.

did you get that? for her!

and, yes, it's also true, that kind of realization could very well rattle a mother--right to her much too tender-hearted core.

i could easily go down the not-so-kind path wondering how another female has so captured his heart and become the source of that smile which has been mostly mine for almost two decades.

i could stew about it and struggle over it, but the truth is, this is exactly what we want for our growing-up kids: this special someone who lights up their life and lights up their smile. even if they happen to be out exploring a sunflower field with me! it's what we want. it's what i want. it's even what i have prayed for. 

she's a pretty special girl. i agree. and so this smiling boy's mother is choosing to be grateful for the gift of her son's beautiful smile and his beautiful--inside and out--girlfriend.

just today, one week later, i happened to drive by this very same corner. and can i tell you, the entire thing is gone. every single bloom has disappeared. mowed down. the tractor and trucks and the bugs and the dirt ... all remain, but those glorious flowers are 100% completely gone. i guess that's what happens at a sunflower farm. when the blooms wilt, the farmer wields his blade and the landscape changes. a new season begins.

it made me sad to see it gone.
but, it also make me grateful for the moment we had.

like life.

so sweet. 

notice the pocket knife

that truck i promised