happy birthday!

dearest bella,  today you turned three.  it was a special day.  it was your day.  three years ago  you entered the world.  you were born to a woman in a land far away.  in a small village?  in a big city?  in the tiny backroom of a house?  or behind the sterile curtain of a hospital?  i have no way of knowing. i wasn't there.  i didn't hear your first cry.  i never gazed into your newborn eyes. i wasn't there.  but i can imagine.  and bella, my darling girl,  i am here now.  i am here always.  i wasn't there for your arrival, but i am here for your journey and i will never stop telling you there was no mistake in it.  God planned you from before time.  God wrote the story of your birth, your abandonment, your adoption and your life with us.  He didn't leave out one detail.  He didn't mess up any part.  it is the story He composed for you before you were even you.   and we celebrate it today.  we celebrate the beauty and the goodness and grace that God has bestowed so richly on you...on us.  we celebrate the block towers you build, the pages you color and the juice you spill.  we celebrate the bubbles you blow and the babydolls you carry and even the tantrums you throw. we celebrate the tight hugs you give, the sloppy kisses you offer and the way you reach for our hands to hold.  we celebrate the light in your eyes and the joy in your step and the sound of your laugh.   we celebrate you bella.  this is your day.

funny thing though...it is not entirely your own day.  because like any fifth child in a big family, as special as you are, you are, indeed, one of many.  and you must learn to share.  you must learn to share even your birthday.  how funny it is to me that you and your oldest sister have the same birthday.  i think that is perfect.   i am not saying it has been perfectly easy to plan.  celebrating a 15 year old and and a 3 year old on the same day has required a little creativity.  but nonetheless, it has been a day large with celebration.    both of you girls are such lovely gifts.  emily's birth 15 years ago marked the beginning of our journey into parenthood.  i could never have guessed what these 15 years would hold:  three more births and your adoption...and here you all are!  some days i am breathless with it all.  some days i am overwhelmed with it all...but every day i am thankful.  so thankful.  i know that with each of your arrivals has come both great responsibility and great blessing.   my mother's prayer is to be fully aware and fully faithful to both.

so today we celebrate.  we celebrate our two dark eyed beauties...our teen and our toddler....our first and our last (?).  we celebrate the gift of life and the giver of life and you two joyful livers of life.  we celebrate your births - as different as they were.  we celebrate your lives.  happy birthday emily and bella!