She was the one that brought us the file of a little girl in China named Xue Zhu Zhang. Beverly, in her most matter of fact, and funny, funny way, dropped her file into the lap of my computer and said, "Well...here she is!"
Bev is the one that continued to echo the already whisper in my heart, "why not?" She and her daughter, Neilly, even threatened, "if you don't, we will." Her friendship and encouragement is as much a God-Thing as is this child we pursue. Beverly is unwavering in her pursuit of life and in her support of us. She has this spark of humor which truly lightens the heaviness of all the scary stuff that straps itself to adoption. In the past months we have had to process a long list of "what ifs."
We've had a lot to consider in our pursuit of baby Zuzu. Her serious heart condition, her abandonment, the lack of access to her medical records, her prognosis, the psychological effects of institutionalization, her developmental delays, her possible limitations. We had to sit, individually, and watch 8 hours of online Hague Convention training which basically detailed every worse case scenario imaginable. Included in this online training were pages - no volumes - of medical and psychological reading which served to broadcast the message: This Won't Be Easy. Rick and I have had to fill out pages and pages and pages of paperwork and answer countless questions about these doubts. We have consulted with many medical professionals. Some of whom have been encouraging and some who have shared grave concerns.
We knew from the very beginning Zuzu was not a sure thing. We were even told she "was a risk." We were instructed to, "think of your other children." We have been reminded that a child with these kinds of medical needs "will change your lifestyle." We have even been asked, "do you know what you are doing?" We knew other families were encouraged to decline her file. I write "decline her file" because somehow it seems gentler. Somehow less harsh to decline a file, than it does a child. What a tremendous responsibility and burden that comes with having to choose. I know full well that grief, as we slept scant hours over that weekend in July when we had to decide. I know, without a doubt, that these other families did the right thing. They prayerfully followed God's direction. They had good reason. There is not an ounce of judgment. In fact, i am so very thankful for their courage.
Okay, so back to Beverly. She's for sure going to give me a good southern tongue lashing when she finds that I have written about her. But, oh well, I will cross that bridge with her later. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how special is this lady and share the kind of thing she passes along to me every now and then. She seems to know. She just seems to know when I need a nugget of extra encouragement. I wish I could share with you all of her little anecdotes and messages ---there is a particularly good entry back on July 21st if you want to go in search of it. That Beverly entry has something to do with her singing about birds in the shower!
We've had a lot to consider in our pursuit of baby Zuzu. Her serious heart condition, her abandonment, the lack of access to her medical records, her prognosis, the psychological effects of institutionalization, her developmental delays, her possible limitations. We had to sit, individually, and watch 8 hours of online Hague Convention training which basically detailed every worse case scenario imaginable. Included in this online training were pages - no volumes - of medical and psychological reading which served to broadcast the message: This Won't Be Easy. Rick and I have had to fill out pages and pages and pages of paperwork and answer countless questions about these doubts. We have consulted with many medical professionals. Some of whom have been encouraging and some who have shared grave concerns.
We knew from the very beginning Zuzu was not a sure thing. We were even told she "was a risk." We were instructed to, "think of your other children." We have been reminded that a child with these kinds of medical needs "will change your lifestyle." We have even been asked, "do you know what you are doing?" We knew other families were encouraged to decline her file. I write "decline her file" because somehow it seems gentler. Somehow less harsh to decline a file, than it does a child. What a tremendous responsibility and burden that comes with having to choose. I know full well that grief, as we slept scant hours over that weekend in July when we had to decide. I know, without a doubt, that these other families did the right thing. They prayerfully followed God's direction. They had good reason. There is not an ounce of judgment. In fact, i am so very thankful for their courage.
Okay, so back to Beverly. She's for sure going to give me a good southern tongue lashing when she finds that I have written about her. But, oh well, I will cross that bridge with her later. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how special is this lady and share the kind of thing she passes along to me every now and then. She seems to know. She just seems to know when I need a nugget of extra encouragement. I wish I could share with you all of her little anecdotes and messages ---there is a particularly good entry back on July 21st if you want to go in search of it. That Beverly entry has something to do with her singing about birds in the shower!
Beverly and David adopted their third child, Lilia, from the Ukraine just a couple of years ago. My funny and brave friend left for the Ukraine with money taped to her body and they went in search of this little girl. She could have used about 10 Beverlys herself to cheer her on. They were there for weeks. It was dismal and dark and beyond depressing. They visited orphanages and had to make quick decisions. Decisions that mattered. Do you ever feel overwhelmed standing in the grocery store deciding what to bring home for dinner? Imagine standing in a foreign country, in a desolate orphanage, deciding which child to bring home? I think that is why she does what she does. I know this is why she is a holder of our sometimes trembling hands. This is why she cheers us on through our doubts and hard questions and weariness in the adoption process. She is not only a gift to us, but she is a gift to the daughter we will someday bring home.
Beverly is an advocate with an ability to connect deeply and beautifully. Earlier today I received this quick note of encouragement from her:
Today Lilia told me that she loved me SO much and paused, and said," YOU came a LONG way to Ukraine just to get me."
"Yes, I did, and I would do it all again."
She then put her toy down and ran to hug me.
As I was putting ornaments in a box several hours later, I was enjoying looking at all of the picture ornaments as usual, and it just hit me that little baby Z's face was looking up at me from our family's Christmas box. It just gave me a thrill all over again ... she belongs in someone's boxes of history.
As I was putting ornaments in a box several hours later, I was enjoying looking at all of the picture ornaments as usual, and it just hit me that little baby Z's face was looking up at me from our family's Christmas box. It just gave me a thrill all over again ... she belongs in someone's boxes of history.
I just get excited for you guys all of the time. It's such a delight to have one of God's most precious placed into your home.
Can you see why I love this friend so much? Baby Zuzu is a long way from us right now--the other side of the world, in fact. And yet, my sweet friend helps me to bridge this distance with her delightful anecdotes and her unwavering hope for our little girl. When so many others continue to focus on the what ifs. God has given me a friend who continues to ask why not?
Can you see why I love this friend so much? Baby Zuzu is a long way from us right now--the other side of the world, in fact. And yet, my sweet friend helps me to bridge this distance with her delightful anecdotes and her unwavering hope for our little girl. When so many others continue to focus on the what ifs. God has given me a friend who continues to ask why not?
We have said over and over again this is not the story of the McNatt family. It is not even the story of a little girl in China named Zuzu. This is the greater story of the 147 million orphans in our world today. This is the story that is underlining and bold-facing and italicizing the phrase Why Not. Why Not. Why Not.
Ultimately, this is the story of our God who had to have an awful long list of what ifs about us ... and yet He (without the help of Beverly) said, Why Not.
And just like Beverly's little daughter, Lilia, said, "YOU came a LONG way ... just to get me."
He came and He rescued me, us, all of us.
Note to Beverly: Before you give me any grief over this. writing ... consider, first, that I could have added photos!:)
Note to Beverly: Before you give me any grief over this. writing ... consider, first, that I could have added photos!:)
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