shutter removal

this weekend i removed the shutters from the windows above my kitchen sink.

unscrewed the hinges and yanked those suckers right out of there.
bingo-bango. now banned to the basement storage room.
i've got a little patching and touch up painting to do, but, immediately, i knew i liked the result of my removal.

who knew all this sunshine and greenery (and flower boxes) was hiding behind those heavy shutters.


sometimes, home -- and self -- improvement happens when we add things. and sometimes, when we take things away.

this little kitchen window project, it got me thinking about the heavy shutters in my own life.
the things which get in the way and even block out God's goodness.
where do i need to scale down, cut back, or, yes, even flat out remove?

what is it that keeps me too busy or too blind to see the sunshine and greenery God's got waiting for me?

what do i need to take out of my days in order to take in more of His design?

"now i will break their yoke from your neck and tear your shackles away." ~ nahum 1:13

this verse might seem a little intense for a blog post about shutter removal -- all that breaking and tearing away and all. (you wouldn't think so if you saw me perched over my sink this weekend with a screwdriver and crowbar. never pretty).
i realize nahum is prophetically writing about the destruction of the wicked city, nineveh, not kitchen design.
and, surely, we aren't in need of an overhaul like nineveh.
surely, what distracts and shutters and shackles us is not THAT bad.

maybe the stuff in our lives doesn't look like wicked-city stuff. it's probably a lot prettier, softer, more subtle. but let's make no mistake, ANYTHING which keep us from God and His goodness is something we probably need to put on our demo list.

the shutters weren't so bad. and some people would suggest i now need to hurry-up-quick and do something else on that big, wide open window ... maybe or maybe not. not sure yet.

shutters and window treatments and, even sunshine, are all items of opinion and personal taste. but what God has waiting for us on the other side of our removals ... well, regardless of our decorating bend, that is always something beautiful.

DIY or not ...

she knows i'd give her the shirt off my back ... or at least the family room rug out from underneath our feet.

uh-huh. that's right. she returned to college this weekend and took with her the family room rug. 

she knew i was already kind of on the hunt for a new one and she played that card well:
"mom, what do you think about caroline and i 'borrowing' the family room rug for our dorm? oh mom, can we have it? it 's the right size and it's neutral and it will look perfect in our room! oh, mom, puhleasse." 

and i said maybe and her daddy said yes and off it went.

our family room rug is now gracing her 3rd floor bedroom in a sorority house.

i mean, who allows their family room rug to be yanked out from under them?
who gives away a rug just like that?

parents --- that's who.

we want to give and help and come alongside our kids. we do. right away, we find out it's some kind of intrinsic wiring within us. from the time they enter this world bawling and baby-ing to the time they leave home, cool and (sorta) in control -- we can't help ourselves.
(and i have a hunch that might continue even after they are gone. i don't know, i haven't gotten that far yet. i'll keep you posted).

but seriously, parents ...
we are givers. caretakers. contributors. providers ... and, yes, sometimes, even rescuers. 

and we do things, like give them the shirts off our backs and the last piece of chicken ... and, yes, maybe even the rugs right out of our family rooms.

we do that, and sometimes, more.

in fact, that's only the tip of the iceberg for em and i this past week. i probably did give her more than just a well-worn rug. i gave her the lion's share of my time and energy. we ran errands, went shopping, checked off lists and completed projects like two wild women -- decorating divas unleashed!

the last few days found us quite busy getting our oldest ready to head off to her second year at samford university. there's a lot to do! and, what's more, i enjoyed helping her with all the details, especially her dorm room decor. yes, i had other things to do getting her four siblings back to school last monday, but still we found time.
after all, who doesn't love to be in hot pursuit of the perfect throw pillow?

we made headboards and bedskirts and dug out some paint for a piece of furniture. somehow we found some time to knock out a few projects. and i'm so glad we did. when i left birmingham saturday night, her room looked great, she looked ready, and my mama heart beat happily.

but as i drove away, i began to question myself: do i sometimes do too much for my daughter? 
for any of my kids?

see, way back when --- before i had my own children, i taught high school. this allowed me a front row seat to some pretty intense "helpful parents." AKA helicopter-parents. you know the kind where the mom or dad (regularly) swoops in and saves the day. i.e., brings the forgotten homework to the child, cleans the messy room for the child, rewrites the horribly written paper without the child ... yeah, that.

and even then, before kids, i swore i wouldn't be That Kind of Mom.
no. no. no ---
i'd let my kids fight their own battles.
i'd allow them to learn from their mistakes.
i'd make sure they could do things for themselves.
i'd insist on early independence and self-sufficiency.

and, for the most part, that's been true in our parenting. if not by desire than certainly by design. because, as you can imagine, with five kids, "swooping in" doesn't always work so well. they simply HAVE to do more for themselves --- or else go naked and starve.

but 2 kids or 20, we've always tried to embrace the great parenting adage:  prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.
... and all that jazz.

because we really do believe that is best.

so when they finally do get to college and beyond -- they are ready!


but sometimes the line is a little fuzzy.
like ... what about helping out my college girl the week before she leaves? where does that fit? how much should or shouldn't i do for her?

friday, she still hadn't figured out what to do about the bedskirts in her dorm room. yes, you're right, not the biggest issue for a college student. i mean, after all, they are journeying this road of higher education for academics, not for aesthetically pleasing dorm decor.

but still ... academics aside (for the moment), i know a peaceful environment is important to my daughter. i understand that because it's pretty important to me too. i function better in a well-ordered, well-designed (i.e. pretty) space.

and though mama standing in the kitchen with a hot glue gun making bedskirts on the friday night before departure might look to some like helicopter-parenting, i'm choosing to see it as helpful-parenting. i wasn't swooping in to save the day, but, instead, coming alongside to encourage my girl.

because i can.

because i know i won't always have this kind of opportunity.

she won't always need me ... or even, (sniff, sniff) want me.

yes, i insisted she tie her own shoes at an early age and learn to put away her laundry and clean up  after herself in the kitchen (we are still working on that one).
yes, she had to pack her own lunches, do her own homework and keep up with her own schedule.

that was all fine and good ... and, truly, important.

but now, she's 19. and though she's perfectly capable of putting together her own dorm room, she wanted me to be involved and, y'all, i don't care what anyone says, it was a pleasure!

before leaving saturday, she told me how much she appreciated our help (i assure you, her dad worked his ba-hookie off too)! she thanked us and hugged us and thanked us again ... and then even that night when we got back home, she sent another text thanking us one more time.

i suppose this might be different if she wasn't grateful or didn't care. i suppose if she was a slacker in her studies or spent the summer working on nothing but her tan i might have to try a different tactic.

but how sweet it is to have a child who appreciates what we give and what we do.

(side note: parents if, right now, your child is slightly less than appreciative, don't be discouraged. emily wasn't always this generous with her thanksgiving. i'm a firm believer that kids can grow into a sense of gratitude. you've probably noticed, it isn't always their most natural response).

but this balance between helicopter-parenting and helpful-parenting ... it's a fine line, right?
and it's a line which only the parent can truly determine. some kids need a little more "coming alongside" ... some need less. some need it for a season and some need it for a reason.
as moms and dads, i guess it's kind of our job to figure that out --- how much? how little?

over the years, i'm sure i've been unfairly judged and, i am even more sure, i have judged others unfairly. it is easy to do when we watch someone else operate. we don't always understand. and that's why it's a situation best left up to each parent.
it is important for us to keep in mind the overall goal --- raising kid who can be independent and self-sufficient, yet know they have a parent's unconditional love and support.

we love our kids.
and sometimes loving them means saying, "darling, do it yourself."
and sometimes it means saying, "here, let me help you with that."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

and for those of you who love the DIY world, here are a couple of the projects ...

{THE HEADBOARDS}

this was emily's brainchild.
after researching a little on pinterest ...
she had some plywood cut at home depot and then to make it somewhat soft, she covered it with a few layers of batting.
you might also have a piece of foam cut from the fabric store -- probably a little less expensive than the batting.
she then covered the front in material and used a staple gun to attach it on the backside.
super easy and it really did make a difference in the girls' room.
instead of purchasing material, we picked up a cute shower curtain from tj maxx and used that to cover the boards.
she was able to make two headboards out of one curtain.

her dad attached them to the wall with wire, screws and some kind of velcro tape.

{THE BEDSKIRTS}

the girls raise their beds with risers, or as i like to call them "cone-things." (purchased at bed, bath and beyond). it gives them a few more inches of space underneath and they can fit their crates, dressers and refrigerator. all of which ends up looking pretty messy jammed in there.
so the bedskirts basically are hung up to hide all of that stuff. i guess that's what bedskirts do for all of us, right?

anyway, it was the one item we just hadn't thought much about. but the day before leaving, emily decided she really did want them, but wasn't sure what to do. bedskirts don't come 5 feet in length! 

and this is where i (haha) got to "swoop in." 

the cheaper material at fabric stores mostly runs 44 inches in width. she needed at least 56 inches. to purchase the wider design material would have cost a good bit of money ... so, it was off to home depot! we bought four (2 for each bed) painter's drop cloths -- yes, right out of the painting aisle. they were long enough and wide enough and neutral enough!
adding a little burlap ribbon helped too.

key: no sewing ... just hot glue!

we had planned to attached them to the springs of the girls' beds, but when we just tucked them up underneath we found out they were actually secure without anything more.
voila! bedskirts!

and after all that helping and swooping and hot-gluing and packing and college-kid-leaving ... a glass of wine was definitely in order!

from delicate dandelion to majestic mountain

home from our trip out west.
people, they don't call it the "red-eye" for nothin!

sitting here monday morning, still kinda fuzzy, and knowing that school begins in exactly one week. one week and i haven't done a single thing or opened a single school email or printed a single attachment. one week to get everything done and ready and all set. one week which also includes one more trip away from home for the funeral of rick's dad.

i could choose overwhelmed this morning, but instead, i'm choosing gratitude.

we entered summer with grand plans. plans to improve our math skills, our reading, our running and all matter of what-not. plans to catch up and catch on. plans to be fully prepared for this next school year. but, (surprise, surprise) we are not. we did not do quite enough or accomplish quite enough or organize quite enough. we have only one more week and i know we still have many holes and hot spots in need of attention.

i could choose overwhelmed this morning, but instead, i'm choosing gratitude.

so we didn't accomplish everything on my "fix it list" for summer, but we had some fun, made some memories and took a few more deep breaths in ordinary pauses, as well as in extraordinary places.
in these past couple of months, we also learned some lessons which weren't on my list. mostly, that not only is summer short, but life is -- losing rick's parents within six months of each other. and this week preparing for a funeral and grieving another grandparent gone. not our plan. throw into that mix my mom diagnosed with cancer this summer, i assure you --- not my plan.
hard lessons learned even in losing our sweet dog a few weeks ago.

i could choose overwhelmed, but instead choose gratitude for the time we had.

this picture of bella holding a dandelion (or "salsify" if you want the correct term -- thank you to my sister, nicole).
a small breath and it's gone. a slight breeze and it's over. but, oh, just look at that mountain behind her ... solid. strong. steadfast.
summer is short. life is shorter. love it well, but hold it loosely.

from the delicate dandelion to the majestic mountains, pretend as we may, ONLY GOD is author of it all. and though life is short, His love is long and deep and wide ... and forever.
more, even, than those mighty mountains.
and though we didn't do enough and we aren't enough and we can never be enough, He Always Is.

"He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals His thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth --- the Lord God Almighty is His name." ~ amos 4:13

the gift of a good girlfriend

i totally stole this picture right off the instagram of my daughter's friend. (thank you, julia. i owe you one)!
i'm sorry, but i had to steal it.
because i look at this picture
                                              ... and i am inspired.

these girls and their friendship --- they flat out, inspire me.

they are 15 and just back from camp and about to be sophomores in high school.
i know, you're suddenly remembering.
me too.

how can we not remember that age and that year and those feelings?

i remember it well. oh, gosh, do i ever.

and maybe you had really good friends like this ... or maybe you didn't.
there aren't really any guarantees, are there?
like you can be the sweetest, kindest, most darling girl out there and, still, there's no promise of a true friend.

i wish that worked differently. i wish that every girl, 15 or 45 or 70, had a group of faithful friends.

i look at this picture and am so encouraged.

these girls can be themselves with each other. no need to pretend. no need for pretense or perfection. they are who they are.
and they love one another well.

they can wear their hair in braids and their feet in chacos and their faces free of makeup ... and be beautiful to each other.

because there is something truly beautiful about a teenage girl who knows how to be a good friend.

i look at my daughter with her girlfriends and i know God has answered so many prayers as He has graciously woven together this group.

support. sisterhood. acceptance.

it isn't easy to be 15.
it isn't easy to be a girl.
it isn't easy to follow Jesus.

but it's easier when you've got some loyal pals by your side -- a little kinder when you find fellowship and friends.

i'm sure i don't pray enough for my kids.

but when i do, i pray for their hearts.
i pray for their hurts and their hopes.
i pray for their goals and dreams and desires.
i even pray for their future spouses. (they think that's weird -- but, it's not).

and, you know what? i pray for their friends.
because friends are a big deal.

what a gift a good friend is. 
not something to be taken for granted or taken lightly, but something to be treasured. celebrated. cherished.

young parents of young kids ... i encourage you, even now, to begin praying for the teenage friends of your children. it's not too soon. it's not too unimportant. it's not too specific.

and girls, i want to encourage you, too. go ahead and be a good friend. be brave. be bold. be beautiful for someone else. again, i can't promise you anything, but being a good friend sure does help us have good friends.

do what you can. do everything you can for the dear ones in your life. love well those gifts God has so richly given.

if you have a good friend or two or three, treat them as treasure. you will be richer for it.

"but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."  ~ proverbs 18:24

returning from africa and grieving the death of our dog

it seemed a cruel joke: while in africa, working with widows and orphans, my dog dies.

i know. like, come. on. already. 

how does that stuff even happen?

but it does. 

it's exactly how life -- and death -- happen. 

and when we put it inside the box of our own limited thinking, it doesn't quite compute. 

in fact, i can tell you, first hand, it feels downright wrong. because my own mind just doesn't allow for stuff like that. if i was in charge, it would go down differently.

it isn't fair.

it isn't right.

it isn't how it should be. 

it's the same thing we hear time and time again --- why does bad stuff happen to good people?

and i could take that phrase and that way of thinking and i could chew on it and chew on it and chew on it ... and i could get myself all twisted up in the injustice and the misery and the bitterness ... and i'd be no better off.

because, the truth is, it's not about injustice or fair or right or wrong. it's about how it works.

it's the messed up stuff that we can't always understand -- at least not easily. 

life is messy and broken, and, as most of us have found out, somedays, even brutal.

  

like that plane ride home from africa ---
i should have been basking in the glow of a week well spent.
i should have been madly typing away on my laptop for sixteen glorious, uninterrupted hours --as i had planned.
i should have been sipping a glass of red wine, eating airplane cheese and chatting lightly with fellow passengers ...
but instead i had my head buried in an "air" bag and was doing my best to curb my nausea and contain my throw up.

life doesn't always go exactly as planned.

so often when i desire beautiful, i find myself faced with broken.

not that i needed another reminder, but even right now as i type,  i'm laughing at the glasses which i have had to attach to my head with a rubber band because they are broken and won't stay put without it. (my family is slightly horrified).

glasses are no big deal.
throwing up on a plane is no big deal. (well ... sort of). 

really, deep inside, i know even my beloved dog dying isn't the end of the world. 

but there is plenty that IS a big deal. plenty that is an incredibly big deal.

in this past year alone, i've had several friends bury their children. yes, several. i didn't write that by mistake.
and just recently, our mother's both diagnosed with cancer ... and losing rick's mom, marilyn, so suddenly. oh, it is just too much.

but little deal or big deal. small issue or massive heartbreak.

we live in a broken world.

we lose loved ones.

we have troubles.

we go to africa and our dog dies tragically. 

friend, i want you to know, i understand the urge we all have at times to shake our fist and cry out in our pain and, even, in our anger.

and it's all hard to reconcile ----
coming back from a 3rd world country and grieving my dog, doesn't make sense. over the past couple of days i have felt the craziness of how those two things pair up. they simply don't. i just spent 9 days in a place where it is completely common for children to lose their parents or their own lives.

fair? no, not fair.
fair doesn't even come into play here.

the babies i saw sitting on street corners without anyone looking after them?
the whites of their eyes yellow and their bellies bulging from hunger?

not fair.

when i went through cancer a few years back, i can't tell you the comments i received from people believing i "didn't deserve this." but, in a crazy, hard to explain way, walking that journey convinced me more than ever, it wasn't about what we do or don't deserve. 

what i became convinced of instead, was that though we live in a broken world with problems and pain, we can absolutely still have great, incredible, unbelievable HOPE.

i saw that again last week in africa.
AFRICA showed me how those who know such pain and suffering can also know such JOY. 

God didn't tell us that when we started to follow Him it would all be smooth sailing ... no, in fact, He said the exact opposite:
"I have told you these things,  so that in me you may have PEACE. in this world you will have TROUBLE. but TAKE HEART! I have overcome the world." ~ john 16:33

we WILL have trouble.
plan on it.

BUT ... BUT ... BUT ... "take heart! I have OVERCOME the world."

i know some can't fathom a loving God who allows His people to suffer. i understand why that is hard. i really, really, really do.
but (just consider) WHAT IF our suffering is the VERY THING which actually DRAW US to the one who can SAVE US.
it shines a whole new light on that pain, does it not?

no, it DOES NOT TAKE IT AWAY. pain is pain is pain.

but it gives it purpose. 

maybe you think it easier to just believe "stuff happens" and no one or no-thing is in control.

i'm sorry, but for me, that option is much more frightening.  

stuff happens? no meaning? no purpose? no nothing? it just happens? and then what ...

i prefer to believe that there's a God with a plan much bigger than me who knows all, cares for all and, yes, even controls all things. doesn't mean i'm going to easily understand what is happening, but it does mean i have something much more eternal to hang my hat on. more importantly, to live my life for. 

oh, gosh ... i know. i'm not saying it's easy.

my eyes have been red and swollen and my heart broken over minne's death. i mean it, i could not even have guessed at how hard this would hit me. i came home from church yesterday and when she wasn't there to greet me at the door, i went into my bedroom, laid down on the floor, and wept and wept and wept.

she was my larger than life shadow. my small horse in the kitchen. my long-walk buddy. my girl. 

i'm sad. i'm sad for all of us. we are all grieving. i think of each one of my kids who had a special connection with her. she slept in tyler's room ... many days after school ty would come home, load her into the back of his truck and take her to the trails or river.  that brought them both joy. i hate to know that is gone for him ... for her.

it's going to take some time. next month, rick and i will have been married 25 years. i just realized that except for the first year, we've never not had a dog in our home. for us, it is as natural as breathing air.

tonight, standing at the sink, i had some leftover chicken casserole on a plate and for a quick second i looked for her bowl. it will be these kind of moments.

i know these things pale in comparison to what others have endured. while in zambia, my friend, april, and i would see someone's suffering or circumstances and we'd say to each other, "gosh, we have no problems. we just have no problems." a week spent in africa makes one very aware that, for the most part, our problems are small, our frustrations are petty, and our issues are very often a luxury.

i don't know how to come back from africa with all that i experienced and put the loss of my dog in a neat and tidy package. i'm not sure i can do that. so i'm going to just put it in that big category called "messy and broken." i don't understand it, but i know that my God has encouraged me even in my mess and even in my troubles to "take heart!"

i will always remember that christmas morning ---our chocolate colored newfie pup in her big, red bow --- carried into the room.  connor, 9 at the time, burst into tears because, "he couldn't believe she was real."

she was a gift.

minnetonka "minne" ... our big girl. you were loved big and you will be missed big.

sponsoring a child through {wiphan}

gosh, i know it seems overwhelming.

i realize we can’t help all the children all around the world ... all at once.

and, honestly, for years i’ve struggled with that very thought.
heck, sometimes i feel like i can’t help the five under my own roof.

sometimes i feel like, flat out, not enough.

and i’m quickly reminded that that is exactly right. i'm not. we aren’t.

we aren’t enough.
but, in a strange way, it's also the very beautiful part of anything we offer, give, provide … or do!

Jesus takes what little we bring and He multiplies. the story of the feeding of the five thousand? you know, the 2 loaves of bread and the 5 fish … or was it the 5 loaves of bread and the 2 fish?

makes no difference --- because whatever it is we think we are bringing, our Heavenly Father makes it more.

i’ve seen it in my own house in america.
and now, i’ve seen it across the ocean in africa.

sponsoring a child with wiphan … 

many of you have asked what that is all about.
and many of you have wanted to ask what that is all about.

this weekend as i return home (and try to stay awake) i am eager to tell you a few stories about a few kids who are in need of someone exactly like you.
yes, you.

meet anna and grace.
they are 2nd grade girls who attend the westbourne school in koloko, zambia. neither of these precious girls currently has a sponsor.

anna

when i met them for the first time out in the play yard, they both curtsied upon telling me their name. anna and i giggled that we carried our messenger bags across our body the same way. we couldn’t communicate too much, but their little faces lit up in the tiny bit of attention given.

grace

later on, with the help of a translator, they both told me how much they love school and how thankful they are to attend.  anna wants to be a nurse and grace, a teacher.

these sweet girls are learning not only math and english and science at the westbourne school, but more importantly, they are learning how much their Heavenly Father loves them.

after leaving koloko, we traveled to the school in mapalo. the mapalo school is not quite so polished and precise a student body, but it has a passion about it hard to ignore. energy and excitement were oozing from this building.

our vehicle had barely come to a stop and the children were already shouting their greetings.

these students could not have been more delighted to have visitors. i’m pretty sure at one point i had at least a dozen little ones hanging off my arms … holding my hands … touching my clothes. at the end of our visit, april and pastor aaron arranged a rousing, wild game of red rover. you haven't played red rover until you've played it with 100 zambian children out under the african afternoon sun. so fun!
sweet doesn’t begin to describe the children at mapalo.


and james was among the very sweetest.

i mean, seriously,  just look at that smile!

with the help of pastor aaron translating, james told me his story ---

james is in 2nd grade and lives nearby with his mama and 4 brothers. he comes every day to school because he loves to learn --- especially loves writing! (oh.stop.already)!

james told me he’d like to someday be a journalist.

after dragging myself away from james (seriously. that. smile) ... i sat with two 7th grade girls. the older kids in wiphan are sometimes harder to sponsor. i’m going to challenge you to consider them. i know those little 6 and 7 year olds are hard to resist, but imagine trading letters with boys and girls old enough to write and at an age in terrific need of encouragement.

agnes and pascalina are two of these girls.

though shy when our conversation began, by the time i pulled out my camera, they were both giggling and posing and asking to see their photos --- like any teenage girl, anywhere.

pascalina, 16,  lives with her older sister and when she’s not at school she helps at home with the cooking, cleaning, dishes and sweeping.

pascalina

agnes is 15, loves social studies, science and food!  she lives with her grandma and siblings.

agnes

i wish you could have been with me to meet evaristo besa! his personality is just like his name sounds -- EVARISTO!
and everywhere i went, each day, evaristo would show up at my elbow. one day with his soccer ball another day with an animal he'd carved from clay. always with a big smile and bright eyes. evaristo is in 2nd grade, he is 10 and his birthday is september 1st.  he loves math, Jesus, running and rice! evaristo lives with his grandparents, his three brothers and one sister. evaristo attends the nkwazi wiphan school.

evaristo showing me his futbol skills!

these are just six of the 500 kids in wiphan schools still without a sponsor.

is there a need?
yes.
can you help?
yes.

please go to {wiphan} and click on the tab “sponsor.” this will direct you to a page (brightpoint) where you can look over the pictures and profiles of available children.

while we were in africa, several of the women i traveled with spent time with their sponsored child. i know packing a bag and heading to africa might seem a little far fetched at the moment (i thought so, too). and that's okay. that might not be realistic, but, i assure you, what your sponsorship and letters mean to these children is incredibly real.

with 85% of the nation falling below the poverty line, zambia is one of the world's poorest countries --- ranked 165th out of 177.  in zambia, it is common for most children to live with only one parent or, even more common, to live with an extended family member --- a grandparent, aunt or sister. this is mostly due to the the aids/HIV epidemic which hit zambia especially hard. the aftermath has lowered life expectancy in zambia to age 33.  more than one in every seven adults in the country is living with HIV.  do you see why so many of these families are missing moms and dads or both parents? with education and better medical assistance, the average life expectancy is rising, but there remains a deep hole in zambia full of orphaned children born in the past couple of decades.

i know those facts and figures are hard to process. i'm not sure i understand them any better or even have them 100% accurate. but i have to tell you, after spending just a few days with these friends at the three wiphan schools, i was blown away by the hope and joy i found in abundance. hope and joy, despite some of the hardest circumstances imaginable. 

and, when asked, i was told, "it is because of Jesus. of His love. of God's love." 
one young man said to me, "with Him, i have everything, without Him, what is there? nothing."

"religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress ..."  ~ james 1:27
sponsoring a child helps provide Christian education, uniforms, a daily meal and basic medical care.  you will also have to opportunity to write back and forth with your child. the cost is $39  per month.

go to www.wiphan.org and click on sponsor.
the steps are pretty clear. if you'd like to sponsor one of the kids i mentioned above, and cannot find them on the website, please write me at emmyandty@aol.com and i'll make sure that connection is made. (james has already been spoken for)!

the wrong house, but the right boy

we went to the wrong house.

that’s how i met him.

the plan was  to visit a “tuli one” home where a couple of foster girls lived.

accidentally we ended up at the boys home.

accidentally, but not really.

instead of the girls, we met bwalyia.

weren’t we surprised to open the door and find, not a room full of girls, but a couple of boys.
it was a translation thing. the foster mother, dorothy, didn’t quite understand what we were asking.  that can happen while in zambia.

we were looking specifically for the girls home because a friend back in america had helped build it and asked us to visit and photograph the home.

but instead, we traveled over broken red roads and car wrenching pot holes across the community of mapalo. we found a "tuli one" home, but the wrong one.

in bemba, "tuli one" means “we are one.” these homes were started for children who have no other option --- there is no family left to care for them and the next step would be an orphanage.  wiphan has 3 tuli one homes for children in this situation. it provides a roof and a foster mother and the chance for the students to continue attending a wiphan school.

bwalyia is one of those children.

he is in 8th grade and lives with foster mother, dorothy, and foster brother, loyd. loyd is in 2nd grade and these two boys share a small room with bunk beds.

i know that bwalyia sleeps on the bottom bunk, but i don’t know the story behind what happened to the rest of his family. it felt too soon and too quick to ask during our visit.  “show me your room and, oh, by the way, why don’t you have parents?”  it was easier to ask him about futbol (soccer) and his position (striker). it was easier to find out that he likes to score goals  and that his favorite subject is social studies.

bwalyia and i had a good time talking. at first shy, he quickly opened up and began to smile. we had a hard time understanding each other, but even in that convoluted conversation, i could tell for certain, bwalyia was a hard working boy and had an incredibly gentle spirit.

 language isn’t needed for some things.

one thing, however, which was needed for bwalyia is a sponsor. i had told my friend, april, that i would like to possibly find one of the kids our family could sponsor.

i’ll be honest, i had in mind a cute little girl – maybe 6 or 7 with big, bright eyes and an easy smile.

bwalyia showed us his room.
he shares these bunk beds with loyd.

i never really considered that a young teenage boy might capture my heart. but that’s what happened when we accidentally showed up at the wrong house.

we came to the wrong house, but we came to the right child.

before leaving his home, i new i’d be sharing his story with my family and very likely beginning a relationship with this young man as his sponsor.

life is anything but simple for bwalyia, but sponsoring him sure is. for $39 a month we can help provide education, books, uniforms, medical care and meals at school. more importantly, we can provide encouragement. and though these kids must have many physical needs met, they desperately need relationship and encouragement.

we are so excited to sponsor this young man.

there may have been a mistake in the house we visited. but that afternoon, God had it all worked out ahead of us.

i love how God leads us to something good even when we think we’ve made a mistake,  lost our way or taken a wrong turn.  

we were supposed to visit a girls’ home that day in mapalo, zambia, but instead i found bwalyia.

“we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” ~ proverbs 16:9 

dorothy -- one of the jewelry women -- is also bwalyia's foster mom. i had no idea when i bought necklaces from her and posed for this picture with her earlier that same day ... kind of cool.