back to china

china. the birth country of our youngest and the place where 9 years ago, on an incredibly hot summer day, bella first entered our arms. in fact, this blog was started with her adoption and that trip. china certainly has a special place in my heart.

and it is time to go back. 

in the past year God has been nudging me along and i have felt His encouragement to return to china and serve; to give a little back to this country which gave us our daughter.

and so here we are in my week of departure. this sunday evening (june 2- 15) i will travel with a small “go journey” team to an undisclosed area of eastern china. we will be serving in an orphanage, but on a special floor designated for medically fragile children—mostly babies.  our team, providing round the clock care for two weeks, will allow the regular nurses and nannies opportunity to travel back to their own homes and families. crazy thing, this special care floor is connected to a christian ministry even though it is in a government operated orphanage—almost impossible to imagine in china. so the details of where we are and what we are doing need to be kept a bit quiet and vague.

i’ll be honest, i am overwhelmed. my gifting has never been in things medical. when we adopted bella with her heart issues, i was certain i couldn’t do what God was asking. it was too big, too much, too medically challenging for this woman who struggles so to locate a bandaid. yet, we know God often leads us to places outside of our comfort. and like with bella’s adoption, i’m so glad He does.

He leads again in this adventure, and i am reminded more than ever, that as unequipped as i might feel, He will equip. as weak as i seem, He will strengthen. and as anxious as i am, He will calm.

though clearly feeling challenged about the task before us, more than anything, i'm humbled by the chance to go. my prayer is that even in a small way, i might be the hands and feet of Jesus to these precious children. i'm also eager to give a break to these amazing christian nurses and nannies serving, day after day, in this hard place.

"and Jesus said, "let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." ~ matthew 19:14

this isn't going to be a feel-good-fun-and-games kind of trip. the babies we will be caring for will have a variety of special needs and sad stories. we know there is hope, but we also know going in, we will have to look very hard to find it. and we will have to dig very deep in our trusting the Lord for it. knowing my own daughter's story of abandonment, leaves me breathless already.

it's clear, i need some prayer, friends. y'all know this return to bella's birth country is going to be messy for me. i'm certain to become all weepy the moment our plane touches down on chinese soil. that part will be hard, but i know the situation we are going into will be even harder. honestly, i don't know how my heart won't break into a million little pieces while i'm there. this week our team met together to be prayed over by some of our church's prayer warriors. it was beautiful, sweet and encouraging, but even just hearing one man pray out loud for these fragile babies in china left me completely undone. i'm taking my typhoid and malaria pills, but i assure you, i'm taking my tissues and waterproof mascara too. 

the prayers this week were precious ... and i want to ask if you'd be willing to join in as well. would you pray for me and for my team in these next couple of weeks?

1. safety as we travel to and navigate in a place so far and so foreign.

2. stamina and good health as we care for these children.

3. peace and strength while we hold these fragile babies which will break our hearts.

4. protection for our families while we are away from them for these weeks.

5. extra encouragement in this land which can feel so void of the love of Jesus.

though i'll be using a vpn for communication, because of the sensitive relationship, i won’t be able to share pictures or write posts about what we are actually doing. i will try to relay something “safe” each day on social media or my blog.  i can't be sure how all that will work, but i'll try. it might look a little bit like i'm a tourist. =) whatever i post won’t tell the story of what is happening on that floor with these fragile babies, but it might serve as a reminder to keep us in your prayers. 

i am so grateful.

but He said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." therefore i will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

with much love and gratitude, jody

and just like that

i think i’m going to dub may the “and-just-like-that” month. i cannot even count how many times in the past few weeks i’ve read that particular phrase on instagram or facebook.

every graduation. every milestone. every event. everywhere i turn on social media i see someone posting a precious picture of a child with that phrase attached. 

and just like that he’s a high schooler.

and just like that she’s a senior.

and just like that our baby has graduated.

and just like that our boy is moving away.

and just like that our little girl is married.

and though--i'm kinda happy to report--the mcnatt family is taking a year off from any one graduating or getting married, i get it.

i absolutely get why that phrase works so perfectly. i get how it feels like they just started kindergarten and now they are heading off to college. i get how crazy fast these years have flown.

i get what it feels like to realize they’ve passed us up in height and math skills. i get what it feels like to notice their sudden wearing of make up or heels or--thankfully--deodorant.

i get how we can't even keep up.

i’m right there with you.

but even though it feels like that in may of their senior year. we all know “and just like that” doesn’t even come close to accurately summing up all the long days and longer hours added up in the years between. 

it doesn't account for the late nights of homework or the last minute projects or the millions of lunches or the early morning moods or the irrational tears at bedtime. it doesn't account for the thousands of hours logged at lessons, practices, matches and productions.  it doesn’t account for the math problems or the clothing-choice problems or the friend problems. it just doesn’t. 

no way. no how. 

there's nothing “just like that” about raising children. gosh no. GOSH NO. as a mother who has watched her share of graduations (and one wedding), i can tell you it's not a snap-of-the-fingers or even a blink-of-an-eye kind of thing. the truth is, very little (like nothing) happens in parenting "just like that." 

and so to those of you teary-eyed-lump-throated parents ardently watching a child walk across her graduation stage or down the wedding aisle this month … or even to those of you hanging up the kindergarten backpack for the summer … i applaud you in this final weekend of may. they've made it. you've made it.

i know how it feels. but i also know what it took. parenting is hard, hard, HARD stuff. it keeps us humble and on our knees … and somedays on the very edge. and whether, as parents, you are just starting out or beginning to wrap it up, remember it is the stuff of the days in between which matter most. 

the certificates and the degrees, the honors and the awards, the milestones and the major events … they all count, yes. but it is the long days and longer hours in between which count the true cost.

count them, dear ones. count them well. 

i know it's more fun to post the pictures and think of how our children have grown and changed, but i want to encourage you to look at yourself as well. okay, full permission to skim over the wrinkles and flabby arms--but look at how you've grown and changed. i know you're tired (and older), but are you stronger? deeper? more trusting? has your perspective changed? i bet it has. don't be afraid to embrace what all these years have also given you. i know it's not a piece of paper to frame and hang on a wall, but be assured, it deserves acknowledgment and great applause. my guess is that most of you--because it's kind of a parent thing--most of you have not stopped to think about yourself in all of these milestones. and, here's the deal: it's okay to do so. it's okay to be a little bit proud of yourself. in fact, it's healthy. go pour yourself a glass of champagne, friends!

because ... and just like that mothers and fathers, you've raised up a child in the way he or she should go. you did it. enjoy it. 
and whether emotional, elated or just flat out exhausted, don't forget to throw your own cap in the air! well done.

“start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” - proverbs 22:6

“you shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. you shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” - deuteronomy 11:18-20