we got home on the late side last night ... and i'm kind of glad. i was, pretty much, able to climb right into bed. i guess that would have been majorly weird had we arrived back at 4pm and i put on pajamas and pulled the covers over my head then. but at 9 o'clock, it was at least somewhat acceptable.
because that's about all i felt like doing last night.
after a day of moving our oldest into her dorm room ... that's all i had left in me.
sleep.
too physically taxing a day? no, not really.
but that emotional build up in saying good-bye while trying to keep some level of composure for my college girls' sake ... well ... that about did this mama in. it's not easy to let go. no surprise here. and we really wanted to at least try and honor her request ... "please, mom and dad, no tears ... please." (she knows her mother well).
and so after a day of arranging bedding, hanging drapes and organizing desk items ...we said our quick good-byes on a campus sidewalk.
we headed for our car and she headed for her college.
and that was that.
and really, tired and spent and emotionally wrecked as i felt making my way back to atlanta last night, i am so happy for her. thrilled, in fact.
and even if she had turned around and chased down me saying, "mom, i've changed my mind about this college thing and i'd rather just come back home with y'all." even if she had said those words ... begged ... pleaded ... and clung. i would have turned her tall body right back toward her dorm room and given her a little push. "no, emily, this is where you belong. it's time to go."
and even if she had turned around and chased down me saying, "mom, i've changed my mind about this college thing and i'd rather just come back home with y'all." even if she had said those words ... begged ... pleaded ... and clung. i would have turned her tall body right back toward her dorm room and given her a little push. "no, emily, this is where you belong. it's time to go."
(and just for the record, there was no way in heck that she would have said that to me ...
she could not have been more excited and ready and wanting to be there).
she could not have been more excited and ready and wanting to be there).
and (really, truly) i want her there. and i rejoice this morning. a good night's sleep has restored my mother equilibrium -- at least for the moment. i'm sure the waves of abrupt change are going to hit me again at some point. i'll notice her place empty at the table or see that her room will be too clean ... i'll need her opinion on an outfit ... and that lump in my throat and those tears on my cheeks might very well show up again.
but that doesn't change my wanting her right where she is. right where she should be.
but that doesn't change my wanting her right where she is. right where she should be.
i told a friend this morning, i've yet to look into her room. i didn't dare do it last night. nope. could. not. do. it. but maybe soon, sometime today, i'll work up the courage to go in and change her sheets, straighten the items left abandoned on her desk, windex her mirror and all the while whisper words of praise for God's glory and grace in this going ... and in this gift -- being her mom.
on a slightly lighter note: yesterday, while sitting in the closing assembly and listening to the college president address the class of 2018 ... sarah (our 14 year old) sat up quickly and whispered, "you know what this really means, mom? emily's going to college really means that i'm left alone to do all the dishes and help out with all the laundry - alone!" a look of total horror crossed the face of my 14 year old. i assured her she had brothers and a younger sister!
no doubt, we will all feel the hole of her going. but more than anything, we are all choosing to cheer her on and give thanks for her chance to go.
yes, it's kind of sad.
but it's really exactly as it should be.
i've already thought of three things which she might need me to run over to her next weekend. three things. THREE THINGS. that's a lot, isn't it? you are probably shaking your head and thinking, "oh yes, jody, you really should run those three things right over to her. as soon as possible, in fact. she needs them. she needs YOU!"
nah. i know you're not really thinking that. and, truly, neither am i. though i will look forward to the time when we can go visit ... or the times when she'll pop on home ... i know, right now, she doesn't need three things from me or any-thing from me. only my prayers and encouragement. (and maybe an occasional care package with cookies). three things or not, my girl has what she needs most -- One Thing -- Jesus.
so, i guess it's time to go tidy her room ... take in the emptiness and fill it with prayers for my ready-to-go college girl.
and speaking of rooms, here's a few pictures of "move in day!"
on a slightly lighter note: yesterday, while sitting in the closing assembly and listening to the college president address the class of 2018 ... sarah (our 14 year old) sat up quickly and whispered, "you know what this really means, mom? emily's going to college really means that i'm left alone to do all the dishes and help out with all the laundry - alone!" a look of total horror crossed the face of my 14 year old. i assured her she had brothers and a younger sister!
no doubt, we will all feel the hole of her going. but more than anything, we are all choosing to cheer her on and give thanks for her chance to go.
yes, it's kind of sad.
but it's really exactly as it should be.
i've already thought of three things which she might need me to run over to her next weekend. three things. THREE THINGS. that's a lot, isn't it? you are probably shaking your head and thinking, "oh yes, jody, you really should run those three things right over to her. as soon as possible, in fact. she needs them. she needs YOU!"
nah. i know you're not really thinking that. and, truly, neither am i. though i will look forward to the time when we can go visit ... or the times when she'll pop on home ... i know, right now, she doesn't need three things from me or any-thing from me. only my prayers and encouragement. (and maybe an occasional care package with cookies). three things or not, my girl has what she needs most -- One Thing -- Jesus.
so, i guess it's time to go tidy her room ... take in the emptiness and fill it with prayers for my ready-to-go college girl.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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| packed and ready to gooooo! |
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| meet em's darling roommate - caroline! |
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| a running start is needed to jump into their beds! |
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| in case you weren't sure which side of the room belonged to emily |
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| emily's personal design team |
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| sister love! before sarah's increase-in-chores epiphany. |
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| ordering her text books -- oh yeah, it's not just about decorating a dorm room! |
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| emily's dorm - "vail" |
3 comments:
What a lovely space you created for her! Doesn't surprise me at all! Love it! Go Em!!! Have an awesome first year at college!
Go, Emily, go!!!
I will pray for you, when God reminds me of you over there, settlin' in!
Jane Klingenberg
we went through the exact same thing this weekend - also at Samford and our daughter is also at Vail! Maybe our two girls will get to know each other! Tough tough day for us - couldn't walk into her room. Cried all the way home. Love Samford and know they are in good hands!
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