conversation hearts

it had been a quiet ride home from morning carpool.  music played in the background of my thoughts and the littlest one sat unusually silent in the backseat of my yukon.  we were almost to our final turn when she, out of the blue, asked,

"mama, is Jesus in ivy joy's heart?"

oh, what a question for a mama with only one cup of coffee in her.  we had talked quite a bit last night about ivy's heart. the girls were making cards to send to her hospital room and in the middle of stickers and markers, bella wanted to know more about ivy's heart.  is it getting better?  why did she have to have surgery? why is she sick?  what does her heart look like? bella was especially fascinated when i explained how they had used some pig tissue in ivy's heart.  bella has a little bit of a cow's pericardium in her own heart.  we joked about how she and ivy would be really good at their "moos" and "oinks"... she laughed, thinking that was so, so funny.  i suppose in many ways it is absolutely not funny, but we have to take what God gives us and go with it sometimes. and this was one of those times.

but this morning her question came from no where.
a quiet car and we were almost home.
but she asked again.

"mama, is Jesus in ivy joy's heart?"

it reminded me of our conversation back in november, when we were on the way to bella's appointment at the mayo clinic.  again in the car, bella and i were talking about her heart and what the doctors were going to do at this appointment.

"why do they have to look at my heart, mama?"
"they want to see how it's working, sweetie," i explained.
"but, what will they see in there?" she continued to press.
"they will see your heart beating and humming and doing just what it should be doing."
bella sat quietly for a second and i watched her in my rearview mirror, the wheels clearly and rapidly turning.
"mama!" she exclaimed, with a giggle,"they might see Jesus in my heart!" 

oh, how that made me want to laugh and cry and sing for joy all at once. what a comment!  what a beautiful, beautiful comment! words only possible from the lips of a child.

"yes bella! Jesus is in your heart...though, honey, i'm not sure if the doctors will actually see Him, but He is absolutely there."
"they will see Him, mama." she said shaking her head with complete confidence. "they will see Him."

and i had to quietly agree.  how could they not?

                                                    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

and then this morning, another car conversation about hearts.

after talking a little bit more about ivy and her heart, bella continued to press further in her questions.  (i am sure by this point, you are wishing you were sitting in my passenger seat, watching me attempt to navigate the minnesota roads and the little miss inquistive's questions -- and again, with minimal coffee in me).

"mom, does everyone have Jesus in their heart?"
i paused for a moment, thinking: she is only four, where do these questions come from?
"well, no bella.  not everyone has Jesus in their heart."
"REALLY???" bella gasped in great disbelief and complete childhood shock.
"but why, mama?  why don't people have Jesus in their hearts?"
and then one more time, "why wouldn't people want Jesus in their hearts?"

diana took this picture last september.
it perfectly captures that "look" of bella's!

i wish you could have seen her face.  i sat at the stoplight watching her reaction to my answer. she has this way of opening up her eyes super wide -- it is the perfect picture of incredulity.  and that was the look she gave me.  "why mama?  why don't people have Jesus in their hearts?"  it was as if i had told her that blue and pink polka dotted elephants were coming to our house for dinner tonight.

it was the first time she had ever heard such a thing...

and, so today, i leave you with bella's little girl question.  why don't people have Jesus in their heart?

we know this.

but when was the last time we were startled to the point of wide-eyed wonder and total disbelief?

as usual, i love how God uses little ones to make us think about big things...

and, "yes, bella.  Jesus is definitely in ivy joy's heart.  He is written all over this precious girl."  as her own mama said below (check comments) "Of course Ivy has Jesus in her heart, He is and always will be the owner of her heart, her first love, the only one who will never break her heart!"  a-men.

"do you hear what these children are saying?" 

they asked him. "yes," replied Jesus, "have you never read, 

"'from the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise'?"

~matthew 21:16