"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
~ Proverbs 17:22
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| some blooms from my late March yard |
Thankfully I have been on the same “first line” of treatment since my MBC diagnosis in 2022. We like that. But with my signatera numbers increasing (the bad news last week) that might point to progression of cancer and that might dictate a medication change. Sticking hard right now to the operative word MIGHT. We hope not, but we have to see what the April 17th scan shows.
If cancer starts to outsmart my current treatment, we pivot. Definitely not putting the cart before the horse though because changing meds is a big deal. This is a long game and there aren’t that many different treatments. And treatment never ends. Yes, we are hopeful for more on the horizon and more research taking place all the time, but bottom line—I only have so many tools in the tool box. So we want to get every drop out of each protocol for as many months and years as possible.
Secondly, I’m on the easy (relatively speaking) stuff right now. Each treatment becomes progressively harder on my body. I’m so grateful to have felt (mostly) good and have lived (mostly) normal these past three years. We want more of that.
Remember the old game Whack A Mole? Treating my disease is a lot like that. Cancer pops up and we have to use the hammers to whack it back down. I kind of love this funny analogy. I also, by the way, love to hammer things in general though it does tend to make my family a tad nervous. At some point our medicine-hammer grows ineffective and we’ll need to pull out another. Thankfully, there are more hammers. They just get heavier and harder to handle. That’s a bit simplistic, but I wanted to make sure those of you following closely know, the rising numbers in my blood results don’t mean I am out of options. Oh no, dear ones, we are only getting going here. We have a tool box and we will use it all. And we will whack the heck out of those pesky moles for as long as God allows. At some point I might need your help holding the hammers. I am grateful for all of your offers already. You guys are amazing.
I hope that explanation helps.
But now let’s talk about the verse we are memorizing this week from Proverbs, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
What a clear picture God gives us! A joyful heart is good medicine. It is health bringing and life sustaining. It improves everything around us for everyone around us. When there is joy there is life. Joy has often been called contagious. It is clearly captivating. It is always encouraging.
We seek it. We search for it. We desire it deeply. Who doesn’t want to be around a joyful person? It draws us in. It spurs us on. It inspires us to be better, do better, want better. Like everyone says—it’s contagious.
We feel good in the presence of joy. It is literally medicine for our weary, world-burdened souls.
And yet sometimes in the difficulties of life we walk around with crushed spirits more than we do captivating joy. And isn’t it true that this internal crushing of spirit directly impacts our outer physical selves? When we are depressed or distraught or anxious or angry it can literally cause our bodies to be sick. To feel heavy. To feel like a hot mess. To hurt. To hurt others even. Have you ever been there? I certainly have.
A crushed spirit dries up the bones. With breast cancer currently setting up shop in my bones, these words have my full attention. I am doing all kinds of things to help strengthen and protect my skeleton. I try to eat right and exercise for strength and every few months I am even given an infusion called Zometa to keep my bones as strong as possible. Zometa is an IV medication which requires me to sit for an hour or so in a large chemotherapy center of my hospital. If you’ve ever been in this kind of room it isn’t the most joyful place. It is very much a bone-crushing, heart-wrenching sort of place. I think there are over 100 chairs in my location and often they are all full.
That’s the reality of cancer. But over these past three years of going to the chemo room I have on so many occasions bumped into someone who oozes joy. And, let me tell you, it is just amazing to see. Humbling. Heart-thumping. Breath-catching. Especially in a place like this. It stands out. It stands up. It stands true. It stands! Even in the midst of all these beaten up bodies and broken down spirits, joy is a beacon of light. Maybe even hope.
In a weird way, finding joy in the chemo room reminds me of my time spent in a little village in Ndola, Zambia years ago. My first morning there I attended their tiny village church. The area scattered around it felt bereft, broken-down, dusty, hot, fly-infested and seemingly held together by scraps of discarded materials. Some of the children barefoot and barely clothed. The people tired looking and lean. It was like nothing I had ever before seen and yet the Sunday service started and that was when the never-before-seen-surprise truly became clear. I couldn’t hardly understand a word of what was being preached or sung, but I can tell you it was the language of joy. The worship was at a level of joy unparalleled since. I will never forget the faces of my new friends in rapturous praise. The music. The intensity. The sincerity. The love of our Father transcends all language. I was changed that morning in a hot, dusty church in the middle of Africa.The Bemba words might have been indistinguishable, but the message was clear as bright day--Joy.
If I can find joy in people in places like these—harsh chemo rooms and destitute villages—how can we not find it and choose it in our more comfortable places as well. We can take the good medicine. We can bring life back to our bones and courage to our crushed spirits. We can with the help of Jesus. He is not limited to the lovely. He came for the sick. He came for the broken. He came for the beaten up and badly bruised. He came for the sinner. He came for the person who sees themselves as a lost cause.
Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mark 2:17
Read that again. Do you hear the good news of this verse? There is nothing which can separate us from the joy of Jesus.
There is no need to clean ourselves up or even get our ducks all lined up. No. He didn’t come for clean people with perfect ducks. The healthy do not need a doctor. The perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came for the sick and the sinful. And that, my friends, is all of us. And He wants to heal with the good news which is joy. Don’t wait. Ask Him for it even right now. Today.
Memorize with me Proverbs 17:22. Meditate upon it. Marinate in it this week.
Allow yourself the infusion of His joy.
The medicine of our Messiah.
And live.
