and just like that

i think i’m going to dub may the “and-just-like-that” month. i cannot even count how many times in the past few weeks i’ve read that particular phrase on instagram or facebook.

every graduation. every milestone. every event. everywhere i turn on social media i see someone posting a precious picture of a child with that phrase attached. 

and just like that he’s a high schooler.

and just like that she’s a senior.

and just like that our baby has graduated.

and just like that our boy is moving away.

and just like that our little girl is married.

and though--i'm kinda happy to report--the mcnatt family is taking a year off from any one graduating or getting married, i get it.

i absolutely get why that phrase works so perfectly. i get how it feels like they just started kindergarten and now they are heading off to college. i get how crazy fast these years have flown.

i get what it feels like to realize they’ve passed us up in height and math skills. i get what it feels like to notice their sudden wearing of make up or heels or--thankfully--deodorant.

i get how we can't even keep up.

i’m right there with you.

but even though it feels like that in may of their senior year. we all know “and just like that” doesn’t even come close to accurately summing up all the long days and longer hours added up in the years between. 

it doesn't account for the late nights of homework or the last minute projects or the millions of lunches or the early morning moods or the irrational tears at bedtime. it doesn't account for the thousands of hours logged at lessons, practices, matches and productions.  it doesn’t account for the math problems or the clothing-choice problems or the friend problems. it just doesn’t. 

no way. no how. 

there's nothing “just like that” about raising children. gosh no. GOSH NO. as a mother who has watched her share of graduations (and one wedding), i can tell you it's not a snap-of-the-fingers or even a blink-of-an-eye kind of thing. the truth is, very little (like nothing) happens in parenting "just like that." 

and so to those of you teary-eyed-lump-throated parents ardently watching a child walk across her graduation stage or down the wedding aisle this month … or even to those of you hanging up the kindergarten backpack for the summer … i applaud you in this final weekend of may. they've made it. you've made it.

i know how it feels. but i also know what it took. parenting is hard, hard, HARD stuff. it keeps us humble and on our knees … and somedays on the very edge. and whether, as parents, you are just starting out or beginning to wrap it up, remember it is the stuff of the days in between which matter most. 

the certificates and the degrees, the honors and the awards, the milestones and the major events … they all count, yes. but it is the long days and longer hours in between which count the true cost.

count them, dear ones. count them well. 

i know it's more fun to post the pictures and think of how our children have grown and changed, but i want to encourage you to look at yourself as well. okay, full permission to skim over the wrinkles and flabby arms--but look at how you've grown and changed. i know you're tired (and older), but are you stronger? deeper? more trusting? has your perspective changed? i bet it has. don't be afraid to embrace what all these years have also given you. i know it's not a piece of paper to frame and hang on a wall, but be assured, it deserves acknowledgment and great applause. my guess is that most of you--because it's kind of a parent thing--most of you have not stopped to think about yourself in all of these milestones. and, here's the deal: it's okay to do so. it's okay to be a little bit proud of yourself. in fact, it's healthy. go pour yourself a glass of champagne, friends!

because ... and just like that mothers and fathers, you've raised up a child in the way he or she should go. you did it. enjoy it. 
and whether emotional, elated or just flat out exhausted, don't forget to throw your own cap in the air! well done.

“start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” - proverbs 22:6

“you shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. you shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” - deuteronomy 11:18-20