i wrote a note earlier today on facebook about how we know she is a princess...listed ten reasons. i'll have to copy that into this post eventually. let's just suffice it to say: she is. what is amazing to me is i knew this before meeting her. last december 22nd i posted a piece about a princess on the other side of the world. well, we are now on her side of the world, and i can tell you my instincts were right on. she is captivating. wait until you meet her...you'll have to agree.
in my december 22nd post i claimed psalm 45 for our bella. it is the psalm i have claimed for all three of my daughters. this psalm tells them exactly who they are: daughters of the King. now rick can sometimes be sort of kingly, and if i was being honest, i, personally, adore the idea of being queen...but this has really nothing to do with us. this is entirely about our Heavenly Father, The King. psalm 45 says,
"listen, o daughter, consider and give ear...the King is enthralled by your beauty, honor him for he is your Lord....all glorious is the princess within her chamber."
girls, isn't that wonderful? whether we are born into wealth and security or left alone in a corridor, the King is enthralled with our beauty. why do we have such a hard time believing that? doesn't every little (and big girl) desire to be "all glorious within her chamber?"
tomorrow we will travel to the orphanage which has raised bella for two years. it is an orphanage with 3000 children - most of which are special needs kids. this will not be easy. i will see the room in which our darling daughter has slept. i assure you there won't be much about it which will seem glorioius. i will see thousands of orphans...how am i to believe that they are all daughters of the King? this is hard. my faith is small. i see what is going on here in china and it is heartbreaking. most of the kids today in orphanages are special needs babies. these children are not considered worth much. an orphan, especially a special needs orphan, is considered bad luck. the lowest level in society. there has been some change in china in regard to baby girls. with much education, they are no longer dubbed worthless, but special needs cases are different. often family members insist that a child born with any type of birth defect must be abandoned for the good of the family. it is believed to be the worst sign of bad luck and the child simply cannot stay within the family. it has become epidemic in china. the government is doing its best to educate its people...but in a country that does not have the light of Jesus, it is so steeped in this archaic and superstitious way of thinking.
tomorrow we will also visit what is called the "finding place." it is the place where bella was left two years ago. we were told today it is only about 10 minutes away from our hotel. since learning that piece of information i cannot stop thinking about the fact that as we walk around town we could very well be passing bella's birth parents or her birth home. after getting bella on monday, our travel guide called a meeting with all the adoptive families in our group. he wanted to go through each child's file which was given to him that day and finalize some paperwork. as he was thumbing through bella's file he gasped as he came across the original note left by her parents. (we had no idea there was anything but a birthdate given). but her biological parents had written this note and explained what desperate circumstances they were in. (i will try to embed the video of simon reading the note in my blog at some point - it is on facebook though). these parents had no money and no means of providing medical care for bella. they realized after she was born how very sick she was and how much treatment she would need. they explain that neither they, nor their family, has the ability to pay for what is needed. they were abandoning her with hopes that someone "with loving arms" would be able to care for her medical needs. what a treasure to have this note. someday we will be able to share it with bella. i have always felt that this was the case, but now we have confirmation. when bella's 2nd birthday came this past year, i could not help but think of her birth mother. throughout that day i continued to pray for this young woman ...i just knew she was remembering her little girl...i just knew she had to be carrying enormous grief. i wish so desperately i could talk with this woman tonight. she could very well be within walking distance to where i sit and type. i wish i could somehow let her know that exactly two years after she abandoned her child out of love, two scared americans boarded a plane and were headed to pick up where she left off. i wish i could tell her this evening after spending only two days with this little girl how sparkly and precious and lovely she is. oh, how i wish it.
discovering this note will only spur me on to continue to pray for this mother and her pain. after this incredible one year journey to bella, it would not surprise me if God somehow connected more dots in this story. i am convinced, He takes great pleasure in doing that for us. needless to say, tomorrow will be a day full of emotion. i will sit and pray in the same stairwell this young mother left her baby girl in two years ago. i will consider that out of her pain, God already had a plan. bella's life, even then, had a direction and a purpose...even as she was layed and left in this corridor, she was glorious in her Father's eyes. and i will rejoice that this little girl is indeed a daughter of the King and He is most enthralled with her beauty. and it goes without saying, we are too...
We share the same agency, and have been following your journey. I am so touched by your posts, and thrilled for you and your Bella. What a marvelous Father we share as well! We will continue to keep you in our prayers.
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