grocery lists. lists of all we need. all we want. all we are missing. out of. emptied. and yet today's grocery list reminds me: it is not that we have too little…it is that we have too much.
this afternoon i took the children and a few friends to the pool. as they splashed and played, i sat and thought. lately i am having trouble thinking of anything but our decision to adopt. there is much to consider. so much we don't know and can't know. i am realizing more than ever how much i depend on myself. i always measure what it is i can bring to the table. ever so slowly i am finding this isn't going to be true in our adoption. rick and i cannot be in control. we cannot call the shots. it is absolutely not about us or what we can bring.
while i sat poolside, i was overcome with a list of reasons why we should adopt. the reasons started running through my head. one after another. i couldn't keep up with the words. i grabbed an old grocery list from my bag and on the back began to record thoughts swimming around in my head:
Reasons Why We Are CALLED To Adopt Zhang Xue Zhu
1. the problem is big….but God is much bigger.
2. we have 4 healthy, well adjusted children with open minds, open hearts and open arms.
3. we have the best, most supportive group of friends we could even imagine
4. our church is designed for exactly this; large, involved and adoption minded. psalm 68:6…care for orphans…not in question.
5. we have been prepared for this. prepared for support raising – our trip to thailand last summer was a precursor of God's provision in times like these. we have already witnessed how God can provide abundantly.
6. our minds and hearts fell in love with the asian culture last summer while in thailand. no question. that is what we left thailand with…a love for its people.
7. slowly God has been stripping us of prejudice and superiority which we didn't even know we had. astounding!
8. our community/city of atlanta….alpharetta…tremendous source of chinese culture.
9. we have a great wealth of resources – deep and wide. this little girl is in an orphanage of 3000.
10. top doctors and heart surgeons/hospitals in atlanta.
11. family members and dear friends with heart issues….survival cases.
12. our adoption in Christ is always about heart issues - we are all in need of new one. one only HE can provide through our own adoption.
13. we are ill prepared, but well surrounded.
14. we have food, shelter, a roof, room and plenty of love.
15. we have more than enough.
16. we are missing our 5th.
17. we want her.
18. we aren’t enough, but God is enough and he has given us more than enough.
19. we are fighters..determined…tenacious...passionate...pursuers.
20. we were told by God that he would bring us something…something big.
21. mercy/justice/children – rick’s passion…here it is.
22. we are resourceful and energetic...but lacking.
23. we are dependent on Him.
24. God has prepared in advance.
25. our name is upon her.
26. we believe. we believe in our Very Big God. and when we don't have enough belief He is big enough even for our unbelief.
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